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CERAMIC D.M. Final Judgements In- New Champion!
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<blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 756755" data-attributes="member: 4790"><p>drawmack vs. sniktch</p><p>alsih2o:</p><p>drawmack</p><p> i think drawmack and i were looking at different pictures at one point at least, for i had trouble fitting the fire to the stone buildings. i do have to say i really liked the handling of the bird tho.</p><p></p><p> in contrat, i think the double headed crocodilian was mre than a little glossed over.</p><p></p><p> sniktch</p><p>sniktch manages to make his plot turn heavily on 2 of the pictures, the croc and the satyr, i felt a little elt down by the dove killing not being explained, but that happens in-game all the time i guess.</p><p></p><p> i gotta give this one to sniktch, on strength of pic usage</p><p></p><p>Maldur:</p><p></p><p>Drawmack: revenge, murder, and rightious retribution.</p><p>Sniktch: Natures revenge. Good story, but the changeover from the druid to</p><p>the Satyr was not that strong. </p><p></p><p>Drawmack, similar stories, but drawmacks story was stronger (I just loved</p><p>the golem-hotel).</p><p></p><p>Arwink:</p><p>Drawmack</p><p>The essential flaw of Ceramic DM is that there's very rarely time to refine a </p><p>submission, and that shows a great deal in Drawmack's entry. The bare bones of </p><p>this story shows a lot of promise, but it ultimately fails to deliver. After </p><p>two very strong first lines, Drawmack soon falls prey to over-description and </p><p>rushing the story. In essence, we need more time to absorb events as readers </p><p>before we're rushed on to the next. The idea behind the story is interesting, </p><p>particularly the focus on Set and his traditionally "Evil" faithful. With more </p><p>attention paid to pacing and the toning down of some of the description, this </p><p>could be a great read but at present it looses the reader by alternating </p><p>between too much information and not enough. </p><p></p><p>Sniktch</p><p>Bring on the berserker Satyrs . While I enjoyed Sniktch entry, it too needed </p><p>more development. Everything is neatly contained within the story, as though </p><p>it existed within a vacuum. Trouble has started, the guardian is warned and </p><p>butt is kicked. Game over. While this is fine it is the hints of background </p><p>that give life to the setting and the stories within it, even if those hints </p><p>are never explained or expanded upon it works on the imagination and brings the </p><p>story alive in the readers head. Putting some more focus into the pacing may </p><p>also help, breaking up the steady chain of events that seem to roll inevitably </p><p>forward. Like Drawmacks, Sniktch's story shows some promising bare bones in </p><p>need of refinement.</p><p></p><p>This round goes to Sniktch, although it's a fairly close call. In the end both </p><p>stories need development in similar areas, and displayed such interesting use </p><p>of the ingredients, that the decision was made on style. While Drawmack's </p><p>piece brings to mind a dark, atmospheric and brooding film, Sniktch's reads </p><p>like the fey version of a Jackie Chan flick and like Chan flicks it's easier to </p><p>look past the parts that aren't working and enjoy the rollicking good fun.</p><p></p><p> 2 to 1, the winner is sniktch</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alsih2o, post: 756755, member: 4790"] drawmack vs. sniktch alsih2o: drawmack i think drawmack and i were looking at different pictures at one point at least, for i had trouble fitting the fire to the stone buildings. i do have to say i really liked the handling of the bird tho. in contrat, i think the double headed crocodilian was mre than a little glossed over. sniktch sniktch manages to make his plot turn heavily on 2 of the pictures, the croc and the satyr, i felt a little elt down by the dove killing not being explained, but that happens in-game all the time i guess. i gotta give this one to sniktch, on strength of pic usage Maldur: Drawmack: revenge, murder, and rightious retribution. Sniktch: Natures revenge. Good story, but the changeover from the druid to the Satyr was not that strong. Drawmack, similar stories, but drawmacks story was stronger (I just loved the golem-hotel). Arwink: Drawmack The essential flaw of Ceramic DM is that there's very rarely time to refine a submission, and that shows a great deal in Drawmack's entry. The bare bones of this story shows a lot of promise, but it ultimately fails to deliver. After two very strong first lines, Drawmack soon falls prey to over-description and rushing the story. In essence, we need more time to absorb events as readers before we're rushed on to the next. The idea behind the story is interesting, particularly the focus on Set and his traditionally "Evil" faithful. With more attention paid to pacing and the toning down of some of the description, this could be a great read but at present it looses the reader by alternating between too much information and not enough. Sniktch Bring on the berserker Satyrs . While I enjoyed Sniktch entry, it too needed more development. Everything is neatly contained within the story, as though it existed within a vacuum. Trouble has started, the guardian is warned and butt is kicked. Game over. While this is fine it is the hints of background that give life to the setting and the stories within it, even if those hints are never explained or expanded upon it works on the imagination and brings the story alive in the readers head. Putting some more focus into the pacing may also help, breaking up the steady chain of events that seem to roll inevitably forward. Like Drawmacks, Sniktch's story shows some promising bare bones in need of refinement. This round goes to Sniktch, although it's a fairly close call. In the end both stories need development in similar areas, and displayed such interesting use of the ingredients, that the decision was made on style. While Drawmack's piece brings to mind a dark, atmospheric and brooding film, Sniktch's reads like the fey version of a Jackie Chan flick and like Chan flicks it's easier to look past the parts that aren't working and enjoy the rollicking good fun. 2 to 1, the winner is sniktch [/QUOTE]
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