Character Deaths

[Moe Ronalds]

Ever had an interesting/funny character death, near death, injury or thing that would have resulted in death/injury if it weren't for sheer luck or just something plane bad happening to a character? If so post them here, I need a laugh.

I'll start:

Kobold Sorceress: What's in it for me (referring to a deal proposed by one of the PCs)
Party Monk: Well, we have an adventuring partner (the party rogue was not present that day) who we'd be interested in giving to you as slave labor...


Rogue: If anyone heals me I'll give them 100 gold pieces.
NPC Cleric:*casts cure light wounds* Now, kindly pay up...
Rogue's player: I run away.
Me: The Cleric runs after you. He grabs your shoulder, and mutters a few words. Roll to see if you stabalize this round.

(the following was actually handling how we got rid of a character whose player had been kicked out of the group (yes, it's the same rogue as the above two examples.))

Town Guard: You are under arrest for murder, thievery, rape, pillaging, and crimes against humanity!
Rogue:*runs*
NPC Cleric: *counters rogue in the woods. There's a flash of light, and blood rains from the sky. The rogue is missing. His face floats down to the PCs feet*

Monk: I open the door-
Fighter: How come he always gets to open the door?
Me: Do you want to open the door?
Fighter: yes!
Monk: Okay
Fighter: I open the door.
Me: Make a fortitude save.

 

[Taloras]

LOL. weve had only 1 character death so far(my rogue7/ranger 1).

We were fighting fog giants (we didnt know what they were) and the rogue had tumbled past one to flank it, forgetting for the moment that there were 2 more behind it hidden in the fog. He does more damage than the fighter, but the darn thing is still up. Suddenly, the other 2 giants rush up, 1 stopping at the rogue, the other rushing past. the 1 that stops misses on his first attack, then next round, hits w/ 2 attacks. first drops rogue to 0 hp exactly. second smashes him to bits.

Thats what happens when the rogue wants to get sneak attack.

 

[Moe Ronalds]

BUMP

 

[muhcashin]

Phantasmal killer?

*the PCs have stormed a Zhentarim outpost and are now fighting for their lives. One of the mages cast his stinking cloud in the wrong place, and it ends up making the party's cleric puke.

Me: As you curse at Ash (the mage) and vomit your guts out, the Xvim priest levels his fist at you. His gauntlets are encrusted with 2 glowing green gems and they flash in with some malevolent light as you look into them. Make a Will save then a Fort save.

Cleric: Heh, phantasmal killer, I got god-like saves, no problem. +13 will and +9 to fort, there's no way he can kill me!

*the dice fall on 2 and 1.

Cleric: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Thanatos]

1st Edition.

14th level Paladin
16th level Rogue
14th level Cleric
14th level Fighter
13th level Wizard
13th level Monk

Mission: Get some demons blood from a minor demon lord in the Abyss to use for creating an anti-toxin for the kings daughter.

Session ended before we were ready to go on the adventure, so everyone spent time preparing, etc.

Next session we start by:

Using a Gate-Key to get to an abyssal plane, storming the minor Hell-Fortress, slicing and dicing the guardian minions and finally taking on the big bad and defeating it. Taking its blood.

Enemy backup is arriving and it's a rough fight back out to the gate-point, which happens to be in the middle of a very open plateu.

We get to the gate-point.

Fighter: Quick, open the gate portal and get us out of here before the rest of the demons catch up.
Wizard: I use the Prime-Key to open a gate back to our home plane.
DM: Didn't you leave that locked in the secret chest in your tower from last session?
Wizard: Doh!
Cleric: Well surely you have some other kind of transport spell memorized so you can get us out of here?
Wizard: Umm...no...I filled everything with combat spells...
Monk: It's a good day to die.

TPK.

That particular player never played another wizard in the time we gamed together after that...

 

[Moe Ronalds]

TPK.

That particular player never played another wizard in the time we gamed together after that...

So you're saying the other players didn't slaughter the player after this incident?

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

7th level 2e mage in the final encounter of Dragon Mountain.

We arrive in the cavern, the dragon breaths on us. One toasted mage...however the Cleric raises him immediately and he starts levitating off the ledge down to the floor.

So the dragon, who at this point has managed a complete flying circle, tail slaps him into the wall.

Splat.

 

[Sam]

This just happened.

Party of 5 & 6th level characters look to infiltrate a shop. The monk (cloak & boots of elvenkind) sneaks in, does some recon & comes out & reports. He goes back in to do some more recon, and sneaks all the way to the top floor, where the buff, 8th level sorcerer is. There he fails his move silently check and the sorcerer and her henchmen (about 5) proceed to attack him. After some time, he is standing by a window, and is dropped to -1 hp by a barrage of magic missles from the Sor. He asks, ASKS, if he gets knocked back and falls out the window. He's on the fourth floor. I give him a 25% chance that he falls back and out when he goes unconcious. He rolls and makes it. 3d6 falling damage. DEAD MONK.

The NEXT WEEK, the monk, now fourth level, runs into a warehouse being held by grimlocks, one of whom is a ranger/assassin. The Asn has already cast darkness. He's in there, with some others of the party, going toe to toe with the grimlocks. The Asn/Rng hits with both attacks, and since its in darkness, the Monk is denied his dex. Damage= (1d8+8)+2d6(sneak attack1)+(1d6+2)+2d6(sneak attack2). Unconscious MONK. The cleric/paladin of the group grabs him and pulls him out of combat, heals him for a few. The Monk gets back up and WADES BACK IN! Asn/Rgr hits (only once this time) and gets the sneak attack. DEAD MONK!

Now I've got a 3rd level monk with the rest of the party either at sixth level or on the cusp. Hopefully the rest of the group will tell him to stay to the back for the next few adventures.......

 

[Hejdun]

Classic teleport. Teleported to a port town, got a 94 or something on the roll. Consult the chart; off target. After distance and direction were checked, I ended up right smack dab in the middle of the bay. I drowned in 2 minutes.

 

[Siridar]

My Rogue and his Fighter partner had just recently defeated some clerics of Cyric and looted them. We were on our way when another figure was shadowing us all the way back to town (this was to be a new PC). He never spoke up and we were suspicious (and of a selfish alignment to boot). We get to town and the fighter tells a cleric of Tempus or Helm (I forget exactly which) that we were being followed by a cleric of cyric. While he did that I snuck one of the robes and a holy symbol of Cyric into the other character's mule sack.

PC 1:"He's a priest of Cyric!!!!"
PC 2:"No I'm not"
PC 3:"Oh yeah, well check his bags!"
PC 2:"Hey that's my property. You can't do that"
a little later:
You guys suck.
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While on a trip through the lower planes, one of the players character's get pulled into a river and drowns. The player sulks as it's his first real death for a character. After much whining and b****ing, another player whose streak of bad luck seems to be endless, gets up, and shouts "Shut the hell up. You've lost one character, I've lost eleven!!!"
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Another player had to cross a stream. He was a dwarven fighter who wore full plate armor. The stream was known to have "Chaos Carp" that could swallow a man whole in it. The player decides to take off all his armor and start swimming across. The other players too busy deciding what their next move would be, never noticed the dwarf get swallowed by the fish as it swam away with a tasty meal.