Speaker
First Post
It is the climatic encounter of our adventurer's saga.
The group has crossed the river of Sorta Wide Rapids, surmounted the Kinda Large Mountain, ripped through the Lair of Fairly Ferocious Monsters and blown through the Somewhat Darkish Tunnels of Mild Despair. They now stand before the goal of their quest – The Evil Wizard Timidous and his heinous henchmen, the Tepid Terrorizers.
However horrible the odds, the adventurers throw themselves into battle, as they so often have. Blorg the Barbarian rips apart the summoned dire clam as Steel the fighter swings his sword swiftly through a sickly satyr. Pernicus the Third, a Wizard of no small renown, blasts a pack of trolls with fire as Boern Battleaxeragerargh the dwarf calls for the aid of his god (whose domains include Cooking, Cleaning, and Washing Dishes) to bless them in this most tense moment.
All seems lost, but then Johnny Lockpick backstabs the wizard from thirty feet away with a well thrown Poker + 3 that he found laying next to the evil villain’s pit of (Almost) Eternal Flames.
Satisfied with their achievements, the adventurers sit down to rest. Just then, Beorn makes a terrible discovery! It seems that our heroes have ran out of iron rations at this worst of possible moments, and Beorn’s god refuses to give him spells of Create Food because he didn’t use his Holy Throwing Dish of Suds during the battle.
The brave hero's now find themselves weeks from civilization, bereft of typical hero fair to devour. Resolutely, they are forced to turn to the pickings of their earlier conflict. And so, the day ends with Blorg carving up chunks of clam as Pernicus stokes the (Almost) Eternal Flames.
------
For players: How often have your characters sought to make the most of sustenance foraged from the fields of battle? Have they ever suffered strange maladies from biting into that Leg o’ Basilisk? Have you ever played or met a character that was devoted to cooking strange foods from the results of your daily escapades? Do you have any recipes to post?
For DMs: What kind of odd effects would you attribute to the more unusual dishes and adventurer could devise? Have you ever put your characters into a situation (diplomatic or otherwise) where they had to eat food they would otherwise consider unpalatable?
Bite in!
The group has crossed the river of Sorta Wide Rapids, surmounted the Kinda Large Mountain, ripped through the Lair of Fairly Ferocious Monsters and blown through the Somewhat Darkish Tunnels of Mild Despair. They now stand before the goal of their quest – The Evil Wizard Timidous and his heinous henchmen, the Tepid Terrorizers.
However horrible the odds, the adventurers throw themselves into battle, as they so often have. Blorg the Barbarian rips apart the summoned dire clam as Steel the fighter swings his sword swiftly through a sickly satyr. Pernicus the Third, a Wizard of no small renown, blasts a pack of trolls with fire as Boern Battleaxeragerargh the dwarf calls for the aid of his god (whose domains include Cooking, Cleaning, and Washing Dishes) to bless them in this most tense moment.
All seems lost, but then Johnny Lockpick backstabs the wizard from thirty feet away with a well thrown Poker + 3 that he found laying next to the evil villain’s pit of (Almost) Eternal Flames.
Satisfied with their achievements, the adventurers sit down to rest. Just then, Beorn makes a terrible discovery! It seems that our heroes have ran out of iron rations at this worst of possible moments, and Beorn’s god refuses to give him spells of Create Food because he didn’t use his Holy Throwing Dish of Suds during the battle.
The brave hero's now find themselves weeks from civilization, bereft of typical hero fair to devour. Resolutely, they are forced to turn to the pickings of their earlier conflict. And so, the day ends with Blorg carving up chunks of clam as Pernicus stokes the (Almost) Eternal Flames.
------
For players: How often have your characters sought to make the most of sustenance foraged from the fields of battle? Have they ever suffered strange maladies from biting into that Leg o’ Basilisk? Have you ever played or met a character that was devoted to cooking strange foods from the results of your daily escapades? Do you have any recipes to post?
For DMs: What kind of odd effects would you attribute to the more unusual dishes and adventurer could devise? Have you ever put your characters into a situation (diplomatic or otherwise) where they had to eat food they would otherwise consider unpalatable?
Bite in!
Last edited:
Amusing read. Naturally I'm the one making all posts under the name Slappy Squirrel.
