Err, no. I don't have any problem with players who are not good at cross-gender play but who really try to and who love playing as someone else. I'd gladly help them to avoid the most basic mistakes.
What I do mean is players who *only* play the opposite gender to have an imaginary, sexy doll with no personality at all and who only exists to imaginarily look hot, have sex (optional, depending on the age of the player) and maybe kill some monsters.
That's what I meant with "sexy lamp". Okay, it is a sexy robot lamp with a sword, but hey, basic principle.
I would think just the opposite, if I was playing a female character, I think she would mostly be interested in is killing monsters and collecting treasure, maybe building a kingdom, and raising an army at high level. I think that after a while, I would just forget the shape of my character, and seek to make her the most powerful character that I can as a player. As for romance, if I were to do that realistically it would be with a man, as most women would be romantically inclined with men, and if she was a lesbian, well I would just forget that she is a woman and play her as a man, but what would be the point of that? You see I myself am not attracted to other men, but most women are, and it is that part that I would find it hard to get right, either I might overcompensate and make her overly interested in the opposite gender, or I would make her only interested in fighting and in accumulating treasure. Most dungeons a D&D character would go through don't involve having sex or romantic interests. I feel that real women and girls are the most qualified to play female characters, because it is in their nature. Trouble is, most women I know aren't into playing role playing games, so if their are any female characters to play, then male players end up playing them, they are second best to a woman playing them in my opinion.
It is a fantasy role playing game, now lets imagine a realistic reaction to an unrealistic situation. Say for instance I were playing a male fighter, and after drinking the wrong potion, he was knocked unconscious and woke up as a beautiful female character, still a fighter, but about 6 inches shorter, a bit thinner.
The first problem, from a practical standpoint is that my armor no longer fits, it is too big on me, what am I going to do about that? Not only that my undergarments are also a few sizes too big. I look down at my new body and perhaps I scream, and the moment that high pitched voice comes out of my throat, I regret it. I start taking off my armor, and I tighten various fittings on my undergarments, and I cover up various body parts with the loose clothing I have available, take my sack of coins, and exit the dungeon. I put a hood over my head and I shuffle to the nearest town to purchase new clothes and equipment, dragging my ill-fitting armor behind me.
My first encounter is with the town guard who wants to know who I am and what is my business in town. The town guard is male, and I look down at myself and see a fetching 20 something woman, and lets say my character's name was Derek, I try to think of an answer for him. One possible answer is I could say my name is Derek and I was magically transformed into a woman, but I'm not sure I could live that down, and I do not want to draw any unnecessary male attention to myself, So I think of a boring unremarkable female name so I tell him my name is Susan, and that I am looking to buy some clothes, and I make up some story about a fire and how all of my clothes went up in flames, so I need to buy some replacements. The town guard lets me in. I hobble down the street because my male boots are too big and I got blisters on my heels and toes. I remove my boots and start walking around bare foot. unfortunately the streets are not well suited for walking around barefoot on, as their is horse dung in many places, some of the rocks are sharp, and my brand new female feet are a bit soft and uncalloused. I try to avoid looking at any men, and I keep my head down trying to avoid any eye contact, not only to avoid any unwanted attention, but to keep any hormones within me from stirring any feelings, as I don't want this new identity, I did not choose it, and I would be dreadfully fearful of any emotions of sexual attractions that might be stirring within me. therefore I try not to look at anyone, and I shuffle into a shop in my bare feet, I tell the clothier that I need some new clothes, nothing too fancy, just practical.
I put on some clothes, and the female shape of my body is revealed, so I try some baggier clothes, The proprietor says he thinks that outfit is too large for me, and if I want it adjusted. I say yes, and he starts measuring me. I suck in my breath and close my eyes. Hormones, those darn hormones, I slap myself across the face just to distract myself, after about half an hour the proprietor comes back with the adjusted outfit and asks me to try it on. It fits loosely. I pay the man, and I walk out the door, now for some boots...