Complete Idiot sourcebook

[robjh]

Okay here's a preliminary table of contents for the "Complete Idiot" sourcebook:

Prestige Classes
*Blithering Bard
*Bonehead Barbarian
*Bungling Burglar
*Dogmatic Cleric
*Dunderhead Druid
*Fool of a Took
*Meathead Warrior
*Retarded Ranger
*Senseless Sorcerer
*Village Idiot

Feats
*Bemuse
*Blather
*Head Butt
*Two Left Feet

Magic Items
*Book of Illiteracy
*Bottomless Bottle of Booze
*Cup of Drooling
*Fool's Fork
*Pick of Picking
*Rapier of Ridicule
*Wand of Wool Gathering

Sample feat:

Hopelessly Confused [General]

You are already so utterly confused in every circumstance that you are less effected my magical confusion.

Prerequisite: Int 5 or less.

Benefit: You get a +4 bonus on saving throws against any mind-affecting spell effect that would cause confusion, such as with the lesser confusion, confusion, and insanity spells. In addition, whenever you are affected by such a spell, the duration is halved but you also babble incoherently regardless of the roll to determine your action.

Any good suggestions?

 

[Turanil]

If you really intend to make such a netbook, I have a core class (that had great success in its time) complete with drawing: the Clod. So if you want it just ask.

By its very nature "Village Idiot" cannot be a prestige class. One is born a village idiot, and doesn't need to do anything for being one. On the other hand I think the Village Idiot would make a template (for any race). And this lead me to add that:

Of course you need to add a new race, and as such, apart from the typical Gully Dwarf sort of thing, I suggest a race I already created and can thus submit: the Half Human.

 

[Turanil]

Hey Bob! I didn't notice at first read this was you! So now I know this netbook is a serious project! The Clod class had been reviewed and rated in its time by the Netbook of classes, but then wasn't published for some idiotic reason i don't remember. You know, I have even a drawing of an "idiot" for this netbook!

Great idea!

Dom.

 

[CRGreathouse]

I allow Profession (village idiot) in my games. It allows you to apply your Wisdom penalty instead of bonus to the roll, so 2 ranks and 3 Wis makes a +6 bonus.

 

[Lord Morte]

Okay here's a preliminary table of contents for the "Complete Idiot" sourcebook:

Prestige Classes
*Fool of a Took

Any good suggestions?

Finally! My mad schemes to play the ultimate dunderheaded halfling can now advance!

Turanil's right about the village idiot, it would be better as a template or a base class. A special feat that allows you to add you Intelligence/Wisdom penalty to Bluff and Hide checks?

Example: "Aww, Cletus couldn't a done it. He's thicker than pig slop."

How about the Idiot Savant, a base or prestige class that allows arcane wizard-style spell casting with negative Intelligence? Imbecilic Elf, Stoneheaded Dwarf and Befuddled Gnome PrCs to complete the set? I'd suggest a half-orc class name, but well...

 

[VoiceOfReason?]

can't forget the feeble mage and Meetsheald for prc's.
Or the metamagic feats Shoot Me First and Run Like a Girl.
New skill for the complete book of idiots: Blathering.

Pants of Competence (meant to be worn around the head and face. when wrapped tightly, the Pants cure idiocy for as long as the target holds his/her breath)

The Everfull Chamberpot (similar to Decanter of Endless Water..though there's a substitution involved-this one's a lesser artifact, for its obviously earthshattering power)

Haraka'rish'nikiljm-nargkdite Vo'iw-an-an-a-foo; cursed vorpal bowstring of wielderbane-This mighty composite longbow string hates its wielder with such blind emnity that any arrow fired from the bow that does not find itself firmly lodged in living or once-living material unerringly returns to the wielder with his/her original attack roll. Wielderbane converts penalties of any kind that were applied to the attack roll into bonuses and causes the weapon to do automatic critical damage on every attack. Wielderbane works only when the wielder of the weapon intends to maim, kill, or mutilate himself with the weapon. Being cursed and intelligent, this string is able to activate its wielderbane ability at will, and can turn wielderbane on or off in response to finding out whether the wielder hit or missed.


EDIT: Oh, and Haraka'rish'nikiljm-nargkdite Vo'iw-an-an-a-foo automatically shatters the bow of any munchkin who tries to say his longbow has been strung for weeks on end, just in case...just like a real bowstring does.

 

[robjh]

Hey Bob! I didn't notice at first read this was you! So now I know this netbook is a serious project! The Clod class had been reviewed and rated in its time by the Netbook of classes, but then wasn't published for some idiotic reason i don't remember. You know, I have even a drawing of an "idiot" for this netbook!

Great idea!

Dom.

Hey Dom,

Well yes and no. It was kind of a joke-post, but it could be a humorous netbook project.

*Knucklehead Knave (or Knight) -- special ability = tilting at windmills
*Dwarf Tossee -- great for those troublesome doors
*Gaumless Gnome
*Aeirhead Elf
*Idiot Savant

Thanks everybody.

 

[robjh]

I'd suggest a half-orc class name, but well...

Hmm, toughie...

*Half-Baked Half-Orc?

What's a good expression for "beyond intellectually challenged"?

 

[HellHound]

If not for a netbook, we are doing "Bride of a Portable Hole" this year, sequel to our award winning Portable Hole Full of Beer. As with the original, this will be a free download from RPGnow.

 

[robjh]

can't forget the feeble mage and Meetsheald for prc's.
Or the metamagic feats Shoot Me First and Run Like a Girl.
New skill for the complete book of idiots: Blathering.

The Everfull Chamberpot (similar to Decanter of Endless Water..though there's a substitution involved-this one's a lesser artifact, for its obviously earthshattering power)

Not quite sure how you'd do a Feeble Mage PrC, unless you mage it something like a Hedge Wizard that allows spell casting based on Pure Dumb Luck, rather than Int. Speaking of PDL, that could be a feat or a PrC special ability; get a re-roll once/day on any Int-based roll.

*Wand of Useless Servants
*Potion of Inebriation

Ah well... enough already.