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<blockquote data-quote="Cleon" data-source="post: 5742492" data-attributes="member: 57383">Hmm...Does it really need &quot;As a result&quot; in &quot;As a result, it will offer its services to any creature that can promise it a steady supply of food&quot;? Speaking of that paragraph, I like the original text's use of &quot;watchdog&quot; and &quot;symbiotic relationship&quot;, so fancy working them into the background.The bit about philosophizing seems a bit clumsily worded.The &quot;unusal&quot; is presumably a typo for &quot;unusual&quot;.A &quot;gracious master&quot; would be kindly, but not necessarily generous. I'd suggest magnanimous.It Should have a size and weight.How's this...Suwyze are subterranean aberrations with formidable sensory powers. Because of its extensive sensory powers, a&nbsp; suwyze must eat much more than other creatures of its size, particularly&nbsp; meat. Suwyze usually live in symbiotic relationships with&nbsp; other underground creatures, serving as watchdogs or sentinels in return for a steady supply of food. &nbsp;Curious and inquisitive, suwyze consider themselves philosophers,&nbsp; endlessly ruminating on the nature of perception.&nbsp; They are also&nbsp; cowardly, easily spooked by odd noises, unfamiliar smells, strangers, or&nbsp; anything else out of the ordinary.&nbsp;Because of their unusual array of sensory organs, suwyze savor scents,&nbsp; colors, and textures.&nbsp; As they age, their tastes harden, demanding a&nbsp; specifically-designed habitat, and thus making them difficult to&nbsp; transfer from one area to another.&nbsp;A suwyze can use rings and bracers on its tendrils, and a favored beast may be granted these items by a magnanimous master.A suwyze is a 20 foot diameter ball of tendrils and antennae radiating from a central body about a foot across. It weighs about 40 pounds. Most of this weight is in the suwyze's central core, the bulk of its volume is featherlight feelers.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Cleon, post: 5742492, member: 57383"] Hmm... Does it really need "As a result" in "As a result, it will offer its services to any creature that can promise it a steady supply of food"? Speaking of that paragraph, I like the original text's use of "watchdog" and "symbiotic relationship", so fancy working them into the background. The bit about philosophizing seems a bit clumsily worded. The "unusal" is presumably a typo for "unusual". A "gracious master" would be kindly, but not necessarily generous. I'd suggest magnanimous. It Should have a size and weight. How's this... Suwyze are subterranean aberrations with formidable sensory powers. Because of its extensive sensory powers, a suwyze must eat much more than other creatures of its size, particularly meat. Suwyze usually live in symbiotic relationships with other underground creatures, serving as watchdogs or sentinels in return for a steady supply of food. Curious and inquisitive, suwyze consider themselves philosophers, endlessly ruminating on the nature of perception. They are also cowardly, easily spooked by odd noises, unfamiliar smells, strangers, or anything else out of the ordinary. Because of their unusual array of sensory organs, suwyze savor scents, colors, and textures. As they age, their tastes harden, demanding a specifically-designed habitat, and thus making them difficult to transfer from one area to another. A suwyze can use rings and bracers on its tendrils, and a favored beast may be granted these items by a magnanimous master. A suwyze is a 20 foot diameter ball of tendrils and antennae radiating from a central body about a foot across. It weighs about 40 pounds. Most of this weight is in the suwyze's central core, the bulk of its volume is featherlight feelers. [/QUOTE]

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