critique my city

lexoanvil

First Post
oakspire

history
Oakspire has for the past 1600 years been the last large settlement of the dwarves on the material plane. originally a mining settlement on the peak of mount simariil named after the its original inhabitant a gold dragon. soon after simariil's dissaperence the dwarves moved in to mine for emeralds and large deposits of mythril in bedded into the center of the mountain. after several generations of dwarf inhabitants mining the mountian had devolpoed a massive crater at the peak of the mountian; with connecting tunnles leading even deeper in to the mountian. some rumors said the tunnles lead to the underdark. these rumors were cemented as fact when in 162 a drow raiding party poured from their own tunnles and caused massive damage to the settlement. the drow were eventully repeled back to the underdark. for 3 years the mining settlements progress was put into a standstill due to the fear of a second attack. at this point a group of surviving eladrin whom in years past had experienced a caticlysmic event them left them sepperated and exsiled from their former eladrin brothers. banished by their former home they found refuge with the dwarves after they pledged their support to the dwarves in fighting the drow. for 30 years the newly named elves and dwarves fought the drow in a vicious war when at long lastthey had repeled the drow from their former settlement. in celibration the elves planted a seed they had brought back with them from the fey wild and planted it into the heart of the mountian. by the year 1298(current year) the seed has formed into a massive tree that envelopes the crater with the roots pouring into the tunnles of the mountian. dwarven homes and bussinesses are sprawled in the walls of the crater while the elven population resides in homes hanging from the branches of the great tree. the tree itself has taken on the properties of the mountain with its bark as strong as mythril and every fall emerald leaves from the tree fall in the crater. the emerald leaves have been used prominently in the craftsmenship collectively by both races in art weapons and armor.

population
dwarf 4,500
elven 3,000
other >200

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this is the first city i have designed in my current world building project. so tell me what you guys think.
some good areas were i would like input on are the following.

-what would you as a player like to know more about this city while exploring it?

-ideas of on elaborating on current history.

-general criticism.
 

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Please forgive the rudeness but in the interest of readability.

Oakspire

History

Oakspire has for the past 1600 years been the last large settlement of the dwarves on the material plane.

Originally a mining settlement on the peak of mount simariil (named after its original inhabitant a gold dragon). Soon after simariil's dissaperence the dwarves moved in to mine for emeralds and large deposits of mythril in the center of the mountain.

After several generations of dwarf inhabitants mining, the mountian had developed a massive crater at the peak of the mountian; with connecting tunnels leading even deeper in to the mountain.

Some rumors said the tunnels lead to the underdark. These rumors were cemented as fact when in 162 a drow raiding party poured from their own tunnels and caused massive damage to the settlement. The drow were eventully repeled back to the underdark. For 3 years the mining settlements progress was put into a standstill due to the fear of a second attack.

At this point a group of surviving eladrin whom in years past had experienced a caticlysmic event them left them separated and exiled from their former eladrin brothers. Banished by their former home they found refuge with the dwarves after they pledged their support to the dwarves in fighting the drow.

For 30 years the newly named elves and dwarves fought the drow in a vicious war until at long last they had repeled the drow from their former settlement. In celebration the elves planted a seed they had brought back with them from the fey wild and planted it into the heart of the mountian.

By the year 1298(current year) the seed has formed into a massive tree that envelopes the crater with the roots pouring into the tunnels of the mountain. Dwarven homes and bussinesses are sprawled in the walls of the crater while the elven population resides in homes hanging from the branches of the great tree.

The tree itself has taken on the properties of the mountain with its bark as strong as mythril and every fall emerald leaves from the tree fall in the crater. The emerald leaves have been used prominently in the craftsmenship collectively by both races in art weapons and armor.

population
dwarf 4,500
elven 3,000
other >200

I like it. It's definitely an interesting sounding town with a lot of very cool scenery. Some questions to help you come up with more ideas.

Do people worry that one day Simariil might come back?

Does anyone want Simariil to come back?

Do the elves and dwarves get along? How well? Do they have different leaders?

With emeralds being so common, are other stones more highly valued? Perhaps the king wears a crown of diamonds and rubies to show off their wealth.

What was the town called before the tree was there to give it the name Oakspire?
 

I have several questions.

What do the drow think about all this? Will there be more raids?

How well do the Elves and Dwarves get along? Is there a clash of cultures?

Who do the Dwarves trade with? What do they trade and what do they want? Do the Dwarves have expansionist policies?

What is the political and religious climate? How does this work vis a vis Elves and Dwarves?

I like the basic idea, but I've become a big believer in lots of detail. You won't need most of it, but it's there if you do.
 


all good input
Do people worry that one day Simariil might come back?
Simariil was a gold dragon and was less malevolent than his chromatic brethren but im certainly place him in as a plot hook

Do the elves and dwarves get along? How well? Do they have different leaders?
they get along very well i wanted to differentiate the elves from the eladrin as much as i could for this setting i also wanted to give the dwarves a more earthy primal feel in addition few dwarves practice arcane magic but are common shamans druids and wardens. elves in my setting as a result has addopted many dwarven customs and are considerably less houghty as some could consider the eladrin. as far as leaders go their king is chosen after the death of an old king by the elder council from a pool of dwarves from clans in good standing and an elven member of the elder council is chosen for the viser.



What do the drow think about all this? Will there be more raids?
the drow despise the elves and it has become an issue of pride to eradicate them. while the drow could never defete the combined forces of the elves and dwarves they continually find ways to pay back the slight of defeating them. on several occassions drow spys have been caught trying to poision the emerald tree.


Who do the Dwarves trade with? What do they trade and what do they want? Do the Dwarves have expansionist policies?
most trading from the city is through the neighboring kingdom of draggon born. while the two nations conflict culturally they have never had direct conflict and have been know to even ask favors of the other. they are on good terms. they often trade ales wines and raw minerals in return for silk , spices and alchemical components.
 

Thanks, Trihelios!

One comment is that those emeralds are going to be VERY common. That will create a problem for you. Maybe it takes a lot of processing to produce actual emeralds from the leaves?

And, of course the name prior to Oakspire had to have been the Crater Ridge Mines from Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil! :)
you basically hit the nail on the head. the leaves are very brittle and light in their normal state. it can be refined into an emerald/mithril composite that is commonly used in the armor of the elite guard. and if enough raw components are used over the course of 100 years they can create pure flawless emeralds.
 

some basic info about the other popular races.

the dragonborn culture is loosely based on some Chinese culture to put a little in perspective. i plan on eventully writing them up but they are only lightly outlined atm.

the eladrin as fairly similar to their normal write with the exception they have few allies due largely attributed to their uncooperative and arrogant nature. teiflings shifters and a long list of other common races are highly looked down upon the point they are almost kill on sight. they barley tolerate humans and are very distrusting of the elves and dwarves. they created the warforged(im considering re-skining them to be less robot and more puppet like.)to work for them.

the rest ive barley touched.
 
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