RoiC.
Explorer
So, I'm a player in a group of friends playing D&D 5e (in real life) once a week, and I've decided to run a one-shot adventure for my friends, as a DM. While our DM is a good friend of mine and offered to help as much as possible, I don't want to spoil the adventure for him.
Anyway, I have a pretty solid outline for the adventure, and I just want to hear a few opinions on something that's inherently bad or needs some work at the base, before I go deeper into the design.
Anyway, a group of 6 level 7 adventurers walking in the mountains stumble upon a gate to some kind of shrine or something carved into the mountainside itself, and a dying cleric near the entrance. After switching a few words with them, the Cleric's head violently explodes, and they see an undead mage (probably a reskinned revenant) behind them that cast the spell (mostly to prevent use of Revivify, to be honest), and roll for iniative. After the battle, they enter the shrine thingy, and the quest starts.
Anyway, the shrine used to serve as headquarters for a knight order called "The Bonecrushers", defunct for 200 years or so, that rose in order to save the land from a mighty lich raising an army (I'll make it a pretty known fact, probably a 10 DC history check or something around that range), and that the leader of the order (Ajantis) was slain after blowing a fatal strike to the lich. After it all ended, the leader was buried in a crypt in the HQ... But what his fellow knights didn't know is that the lich cursed him; to be raised in 150 years as a Death Knight, thinking the lich has returned, and that he must do everything in order to slay him now, killing and reanimating strong fighters and adventurers drawn to the HQ-turned tomb, not aware of the fact that he was manipulated in order to actually build an army to the soon-to-be coming back (now demi)-lich , that faked his, uhhh... death (destruction?).
The dungeon has a few traps, few riddles (mostly to get into Death Knight's crypt, and one to get his magical anti-undead maul, from him time as the order's leader), a few mook battles and one boss battle. I also have a marked map, with a legend:
Blue S: Starting point, where the party come out of a forest and see the gates, and the dying cleric.
1: Main hall, where there are statues for all the knights of the order, and a big one for Ajantis, the leader; behind his statue is his magical weapon, the Bonecrusher (a +2 silver maul, with +2d6 against undead. They're supposed to discover it a bit before the boss fight, after solving a puzzle in the cathedral). There's also a short fight in the hall against a few skeletons and 1 or 2 wights, and the entrance to the next hall is obscured behind some murals.
2: Barracks room, has 4 weak undead enemies and some loot.
3: Cathedral to the deity Thorm. Has a clue or a part to the puzzle used for unlocking the Bonecrusher, the magical maul, which has to be combined with some other part, probably found in the order leader's room, and a few potions and/or some other stuff. Also, has a secret entrance to the war-room, if the party will want to sneak in and avoid an ambush.
4: The war room. Still haven't decided what I'll put there, but probably some info regarding the order and what happened and some other fluff, and maybe some cool loot. Also, a bigger fight, this time with 2-3 wights serving as officers, and 2 undead clerics and mages, along with some skelies and ghasts.
5: Kitchen. Still haven't decided what goes there, but it makes sense so it had to go in. Also, there's a trap between the actual kitchen and the store-room.
6: Another barracks room, pretty much like the first one.
7: Atrium, also where the order leader's supposed grave is. When the party tries to open his grave, it'll reveal itself as a trap, and they'll have to find the real entrance, probably triggered by something in his room, probably a puzzle of sorts.
8: Ajantis' (the order's leader) former room. Has a few of his personal affects, a piece of the puzzle to 1unlock the Bonecrusher maul, and maybe a riddle to unlock his crypt.
9: The crypt, where the party meets the former order leader, now a deranged Death Knight. After some dialogue, they inevitably fight; he also will have some undead reinforcements (also, he's scaled to be 12th level instead of 19th). However, if the party has the Bonecrusher, aside from having an easier time, they'll be able to redeem Ajantis/the Death Knight, instead of just destroying him. Also, he'll be able to help him in the fight against the Xaggyth, the Demi-Lich that just had his plan kinda messed up, and is going to fight the party and the now redeemed Ajantis in order to salvage it.
Red Ts: Traps. Still haven't decided what goes in these.
Green I: Illusionary wall, obscuring the entrance to the atrium. Still haven't decided how they're going to break the illusion.
-Also, the unmarked room outside the HQ is a bathhouse. Because people wash themselves.
Basically, this is the outline of what goes in my adventure. I guess there's a few things to work on, but I think it's pretty much a solid basis. I've never actually DMed before, and this is my first try, so, anything that comes to mind about what I should do, throw away, include, change... Basically, **anything** that comes to mind, will be very appreciated.
...Also, feel free to use everything I put here, but please don't post it on other sites or placess without giving me credit.
Thanks a lot
Anyway, I have a pretty solid outline for the adventure, and I just want to hear a few opinions on something that's inherently bad or needs some work at the base, before I go deeper into the design.
Anyway, a group of 6 level 7 adventurers walking in the mountains stumble upon a gate to some kind of shrine or something carved into the mountainside itself, and a dying cleric near the entrance. After switching a few words with them, the Cleric's head violently explodes, and they see an undead mage (probably a reskinned revenant) behind them that cast the spell (mostly to prevent use of Revivify, to be honest), and roll for iniative. After the battle, they enter the shrine thingy, and the quest starts.
Anyway, the shrine used to serve as headquarters for a knight order called "The Bonecrushers", defunct for 200 years or so, that rose in order to save the land from a mighty lich raising an army (I'll make it a pretty known fact, probably a 10 DC history check or something around that range), and that the leader of the order (Ajantis) was slain after blowing a fatal strike to the lich. After it all ended, the leader was buried in a crypt in the HQ... But what his fellow knights didn't know is that the lich cursed him; to be raised in 150 years as a Death Knight, thinking the lich has returned, and that he must do everything in order to slay him now, killing and reanimating strong fighters and adventurers drawn to the HQ-turned tomb, not aware of the fact that he was manipulated in order to actually build an army to the soon-to-be coming back (now demi)-lich , that faked his, uhhh... death (destruction?).
The dungeon has a few traps, few riddles (mostly to get into Death Knight's crypt, and one to get his magical anti-undead maul, from him time as the order's leader), a few mook battles and one boss battle. I also have a marked map, with a legend:
Blue S: Starting point, where the party come out of a forest and see the gates, and the dying cleric.
1: Main hall, where there are statues for all the knights of the order, and a big one for Ajantis, the leader; behind his statue is his magical weapon, the Bonecrusher (a +2 silver maul, with +2d6 against undead. They're supposed to discover it a bit before the boss fight, after solving a puzzle in the cathedral). There's also a short fight in the hall against a few skeletons and 1 or 2 wights, and the entrance to the next hall is obscured behind some murals.
2: Barracks room, has 4 weak undead enemies and some loot.
3: Cathedral to the deity Thorm. Has a clue or a part to the puzzle used for unlocking the Bonecrusher, the magical maul, which has to be combined with some other part, probably found in the order leader's room, and a few potions and/or some other stuff. Also, has a secret entrance to the war-room, if the party will want to sneak in and avoid an ambush.
4: The war room. Still haven't decided what I'll put there, but probably some info regarding the order and what happened and some other fluff, and maybe some cool loot. Also, a bigger fight, this time with 2-3 wights serving as officers, and 2 undead clerics and mages, along with some skelies and ghasts.
5: Kitchen. Still haven't decided what goes there, but it makes sense so it had to go in. Also, there's a trap between the actual kitchen and the store-room.
6: Another barracks room, pretty much like the first one.
7: Atrium, also where the order leader's supposed grave is. When the party tries to open his grave, it'll reveal itself as a trap, and they'll have to find the real entrance, probably triggered by something in his room, probably a puzzle of sorts.
8: Ajantis' (the order's leader) former room. Has a few of his personal affects, a piece of the puzzle to 1unlock the Bonecrusher maul, and maybe a riddle to unlock his crypt.
9: The crypt, where the party meets the former order leader, now a deranged Death Knight. After some dialogue, they inevitably fight; he also will have some undead reinforcements (also, he's scaled to be 12th level instead of 19th). However, if the party has the Bonecrusher, aside from having an easier time, they'll be able to redeem Ajantis/the Death Knight, instead of just destroying him. Also, he'll be able to help him in the fight against the Xaggyth, the Demi-Lich that just had his plan kinda messed up, and is going to fight the party and the now redeemed Ajantis in order to salvage it.
Red Ts: Traps. Still haven't decided what goes in these.
Green I: Illusionary wall, obscuring the entrance to the atrium. Still haven't decided how they're going to break the illusion.
-Also, the unmarked room outside the HQ is a bathhouse. Because people wash themselves.
Basically, this is the outline of what goes in my adventure. I guess there's a few things to work on, but I think it's pretty much a solid basis. I've never actually DMed before, and this is my first try, so, anything that comes to mind about what I should do, throw away, include, change... Basically, **anything** that comes to mind, will be very appreciated.
...Also, feel free to use everything I put here, but please don't post it on other sites or placess without giving me credit.
Thanks a lot
