the Jester
Legend
hippiejedi2 said:
Well, truthfully they call it getting Jamesed.
![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
Which has subsequently broadened in meaning to encompass anything that happens to ya that's really, really bad.
-
NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
(Cydra) Great Conflicts
- Thread starter the Jester
- Start date
Well, truthfully they call it getting Jamesed.
Which has subsequently broadened in meaning to encompass anything that happens to ya that's really, really bad.
hippiejedi2
First Post
Didn't want to name names, I wanted to keep it nice and ambiguous/mysterious. You know keepn it real.
the Jester
Legend
Asmodeus is after us!
10/26/370 O.L.G., 9:30 a.m., the plains of Wotan (now known as the Tiger Lands)
Our heroes clean up their campsite (at Seethe’s insistence) before resuming their wind walk over the eastern section of Dorhaus on the way to Blendorag. Why are they wind walking rather than simple greater teleporting? To get a look at the land. Malford is at war with the Tiger Empress, after all, and he is at least nominally the king of our heroes. Baron Lillamere certainly owes him alleigance, and the king has traveled with many of the party members before. So our heroes decided that they’d have a quick look from above on the way. Sure, the trip will be a couple of days instead of instantaneous, but what kind of life is it if you never see anything but where you’re going? That’s the worst sort of tunnel vision.
Into the air again, then. Our heroes fly northeast, passing over old Wotanian roads and spotting bits of ruins here and there. Much of Dorhaus remains uninhabited by anyone; Horbin scowls, wondering why, with so much of the continent empty, there must be fighting over parts of it.
By late morning our heroes can see the Swamp of Lithos, and they skirt around it. “What’s in there?” wonders Horbin.
“A dragon named Lithos dwelled in there once,” Lester answers. “It hasn’t been seen in, like, centuries or maybe even almost a thousand years? I don’t know, we might have killed it when we reclaimed Var; there was a dragon there.” He frowns. “I don’t know, though...”
Horbin’s face sets grimly. We’ve taken care of the pit fiend of Blendorag. This dragon, if it yet lives, has to go on the list.
Half an hour later, as the group whips through the sky above the plains just west of the swamp, they spot a colorful pavillion below. They circle, then descend, and find a group of fey hanging out. Being friendly towards Lester from previous interactions with him, the fey invite our heroes to a party in a couple of days. A fey party! “We can’t miss that!” exclaims Lester. The last fey party he went to had some really killer pipeweed at it.
“Well, now we’re on a schedule,” Orbius remarks regretfully. “We’d best take care of whatever we’re going to take care of before the party quickly.”
“Let’s go back to Valonia and aid my people,” Gerontius urges.
”And give those murdered Galadorians a proper burial!” exclaims the Mace of St. John at Inoke’s belt.
“Shut up, stick,” mutters Lillamere.
“What are we going to do about whoever is scrystriking us?” asks Horbin.
“First we need to find out what’s really happening and who is behind it,” Orbrius replies.
***
Noon, Valonia
Greater teleporting to Valonia, our heroes warily finish burying the bodies. While most of the more physical individuals dig, Orbius uses a pair of contact other planes. He first gets two questions from each of his companions.
Who in the Grey Brotherhood should we contact to nullify the contract on the party? Grandfather.
Will diplomacy or force work better? Hard to say.
What’s the best way to get a favorable introduction to this Grandfather? Contract.
Who’s the best person for us to talk to in order to get this contract? Assassin.
When will these assaassins strike again against Horbin? Morning.
Show me a picture of a place where the leaders of the orcws attacking the halflings nearby are. (Orbius sees an image of a military camp.)
Who hired the Grey Brothers to come after us? Asmodeus.
Whose army attacked the temple on Valonia whose priests we are currently burying? None.
Who destroyed the temple? Kryzzo.
Who is the voice in Gerontius’ head? Luugi.
Show me a picture of the shore of the lake the voice urges Gerontius to go to. (Orbius sees an image of a lakeshore.)
Where is Kryzzo right now? Shire Plouf.
What is the exact location of the orcish encampment? Many.
Do we need to destroy the entire encampment you showed me in order to stop their assault on the halflings, or just the leadership? Leadership.
What is the name of the head of this leadership? Genereal Mandagore.
Will a super-quick strke attack do well for us against General Mandagore? Yes.
Will the King of Faerie aid Alcar in his quest to retrieve his magical backpack? Yes.
Will the faerie dragon in the Plaid Forest aid him? Don’t know.
Show Orbius a picture of where we should go in order to pursue the individual who scrystruck us. (Orbius sees an infernal burning land, the sky choked with smoke, with devils everywhere. He winces.)
Show me a picture of a place where an item that can prevent itself from being scrystruck is? (To his surprise, he sees an image of the burned out church they are in.)
Show me a picture of where the assassins are striking at us from. (He sees an image of a shadowy fortress.)
What is our best defense against the assassins? Alertness.
He uses a commune to verify his answers- only the location the assassins are striking from proves demonstrably false. Then, soberly, he turns to the others.
”We are in big trouble,” he pronounces.
***
2 p.m.
The party searched the burned out church thoroughly for any sign of the item that could block the scrystrike. Eventually, they deduced that it must be the Mace of St. John, which could not be scried out itself as it was a relic.* Now, after considerable discussion, the party decides to go ahead with their strike on the Valonian orcs. “We’re here,” Gerontius points out. “We can’t do anything about the scrystrikes. Let’s do something useful.”
The strike goes over well. None of the orcish leaders even has a prayer against them, as the party greater teleports into a meeting of senior officers, and a few mass destruction spells later the leadership is out of it. Then a fire storm Horbin invokes destroys a mass of oncoming troops, and in mere moments it’s over. The party orders the orcs to flee back to their own lands, on pain of death, and takes three orcish pistoleers captive in the hopes King Malford can extract information about manufacturing the mysterious substance called sunpowder that only the orcs of Valonia know how to create.
After turning the pistoleers over in faraway Var, the party rests in the Halls of Healing. That night, Horbin tosses and turned, barely resisting a nightmare sent his way by a deadly adversary.
Early the next morning, our heroes greater teleport out of town to avoid civilian casualties in preparation for when the assassin- or assassins- attack(s).
Which is bound to be soon.
Next Time: Assassin assault!
10/26/370 O.L.G., 9:30 a.m., the plains of Wotan (now known as the Tiger Lands)
Our heroes clean up their campsite (at Seethe’s insistence) before resuming their wind walk over the eastern section of Dorhaus on the way to Blendorag. Why are they wind walking rather than simple greater teleporting? To get a look at the land. Malford is at war with the Tiger Empress, after all, and he is at least nominally the king of our heroes. Baron Lillamere certainly owes him alleigance, and the king has traveled with many of the party members before. So our heroes decided that they’d have a quick look from above on the way. Sure, the trip will be a couple of days instead of instantaneous, but what kind of life is it if you never see anything but where you’re going? That’s the worst sort of tunnel vision.
Into the air again, then. Our heroes fly northeast, passing over old Wotanian roads and spotting bits of ruins here and there. Much of Dorhaus remains uninhabited by anyone; Horbin scowls, wondering why, with so much of the continent empty, there must be fighting over parts of it.
By late morning our heroes can see the Swamp of Lithos, and they skirt around it. “What’s in there?” wonders Horbin.
“A dragon named Lithos dwelled in there once,” Lester answers. “It hasn’t been seen in, like, centuries or maybe even almost a thousand years? I don’t know, we might have killed it when we reclaimed Var; there was a dragon there.” He frowns. “I don’t know, though...”
Horbin’s face sets grimly. We’ve taken care of the pit fiend of Blendorag. This dragon, if it yet lives, has to go on the list.
Half an hour later, as the group whips through the sky above the plains just west of the swamp, they spot a colorful pavillion below. They circle, then descend, and find a group of fey hanging out. Being friendly towards Lester from previous interactions with him, the fey invite our heroes to a party in a couple of days. A fey party! “We can’t miss that!” exclaims Lester. The last fey party he went to had some really killer pipeweed at it.
“Well, now we’re on a schedule,” Orbius remarks regretfully. “We’d best take care of whatever we’re going to take care of before the party quickly.”
“Let’s go back to Valonia and aid my people,” Gerontius urges.
”And give those murdered Galadorians a proper burial!” exclaims the Mace of St. John at Inoke’s belt.
“Shut up, stick,” mutters Lillamere.
“What are we going to do about whoever is scrystriking us?” asks Horbin.
“First we need to find out what’s really happening and who is behind it,” Orbrius replies.
***
Noon, Valonia
Greater teleporting to Valonia, our heroes warily finish burying the bodies. While most of the more physical individuals dig, Orbius uses a pair of contact other planes. He first gets two questions from each of his companions.
Who in the Grey Brotherhood should we contact to nullify the contract on the party? Grandfather.
Will diplomacy or force work better? Hard to say.
What’s the best way to get a favorable introduction to this Grandfather? Contract.
Who’s the best person for us to talk to in order to get this contract? Assassin.
When will these assaassins strike again against Horbin? Morning.
Show me a picture of a place where the leaders of the orcws attacking the halflings nearby are. (Orbius sees an image of a military camp.)
Who hired the Grey Brothers to come after us? Asmodeus.
Whose army attacked the temple on Valonia whose priests we are currently burying? None.
Who destroyed the temple? Kryzzo.
Who is the voice in Gerontius’ head? Luugi.
Show me a picture of the shore of the lake the voice urges Gerontius to go to. (Orbius sees an image of a lakeshore.)
Where is Kryzzo right now? Shire Plouf.
What is the exact location of the orcish encampment? Many.
Do we need to destroy the entire encampment you showed me in order to stop their assault on the halflings, or just the leadership? Leadership.
What is the name of the head of this leadership? Genereal Mandagore.
Will a super-quick strke attack do well for us against General Mandagore? Yes.
Will the King of Faerie aid Alcar in his quest to retrieve his magical backpack? Yes.
Will the faerie dragon in the Plaid Forest aid him? Don’t know.
Show Orbius a picture of where we should go in order to pursue the individual who scrystruck us. (Orbius sees an infernal burning land, the sky choked with smoke, with devils everywhere. He winces.)
Show me a picture of a place where an item that can prevent itself from being scrystruck is? (To his surprise, he sees an image of the burned out church they are in.)
Show me a picture of where the assassins are striking at us from. (He sees an image of a shadowy fortress.)
What is our best defense against the assassins? Alertness.
He uses a commune to verify his answers- only the location the assassins are striking from proves demonstrably false. Then, soberly, he turns to the others.
”We are in big trouble,” he pronounces.
***
2 p.m.
The party searched the burned out church thoroughly for any sign of the item that could block the scrystrike. Eventually, they deduced that it must be the Mace of St. John, which could not be scried out itself as it was a relic.* Now, after considerable discussion, the party decides to go ahead with their strike on the Valonian orcs. “We’re here,” Gerontius points out. “We can’t do anything about the scrystrikes. Let’s do something useful.”
The strike goes over well. None of the orcish leaders even has a prayer against them, as the party greater teleports into a meeting of senior officers, and a few mass destruction spells later the leadership is out of it. Then a fire storm Horbin invokes destroys a mass of oncoming troops, and in mere moments it’s over. The party orders the orcs to flee back to their own lands, on pain of death, and takes three orcish pistoleers captive in the hopes King Malford can extract information about manufacturing the mysterious substance called sunpowder that only the orcs of Valonia know how to create.
After turning the pistoleers over in faraway Var, the party rests in the Halls of Healing. That night, Horbin tosses and turned, barely resisting a nightmare sent his way by a deadly adversary.
Early the next morning, our heroes greater teleport out of town to avoid civilian casualties in preparation for when the assassin- or assassins- attack(s).
Which is bound to be soon.
Next Time: Assassin assault!
Angel of Adventure
First Post
Per the mass destruction spells in that game, Orbius whipped out the big guns and cast a Mass Stone to Flesh which disable nearly the entire Orchish party!
the Jester
Legend
Many Assassins
10/27/370 O.L.G., 10:30 a.m., the hills north of Var
“Some devoted take a day, month or even a year blindfolded, to mark their faith in Dexter, the Blind Son of Galador,” Horbin continues. He’s describing some of the practices that the devotees of his faith use to connect with the divine. And then the assassin is there, stepping from the shadows... tearing into Chakar over and over with unbelievable speed, quick as mercury. This time, it is accompanied by four hounds of deepest shadow, which tear at Orbius, trying to drag him down!
But this is exactly what our heroes have been waiting for.
A blaze of light as bright as the sun bursts all around. The assassin’s hounds bay in alarm, most of them blinded, but Gerontisu too loses his sight. Horbin’s sunburst works a little too well!
The Eye of Boccob responds first with a lance of disruption, which blasts the strange dogs back and destroys one of them outright. A chain lightning from Lester dances between the attackers, the main bolt wounding the assassin, as Lillamere launches a maximized seeker missiles at the villain. Then Chakar and Horbin rush in, crushing the dogs with fist and mace. Inoke rushes forward at the assassin with a roar even as Lester’s horrid wilting draws the moisture from it. It staggers, then wilts the rest of the way under a barrage of attacks from the massive warmind. Orbius finishes the last dog with a volley of magic missiles.
“Got him,” breathes Lillamere.
“Hey! A little help here!” Gerontius exclaims. “I’m blind!”
Horbin restores his sight in moments. Meanwhile, Lillamere gingerly examines the wavy-bladed dagger. Its very presence makes Inoke, Horbin and Orbius nervous. Lillamere performs a legend lore and gets a small bit of doggerel.
Killer of man, dressed in black
Vicious smile, dagger in back
Hired to kill, wrapped in grey
Striking unseen, night or day
Man-killing knife
Ending his life!
“Humph,” says Horbin. “That’s not exactly an identify, is it?”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” Orbius declares, and casts perfect identify. Then he whistles. “That’s... an impressive weapon,” he tells the group. “It’s a human-killer, and of epic potency- in the right hands. Otherwise...” He shrugs. “It’s of moderate power.”
“Figures,” complains Gerontius. “Still, the dagger is my weapon. I wouldn’t mind keeping it.”
Lester shrugs. “Take it as your share, if you care.”
“Of course,” Gerontius answers quickly. He’s only mildly disappointed.
***
1:30 p.m., Var
It seems strange that the question of what to do with the afternoon can be of world-shaking importance, but there you have it. There are a lot of things on the party’s to do list. One of the most pressing is the protection of Brelana from the worm portal that must be somewhere nearby.
”I can get us to it,” Orbius assures the party. “We just have to be ready to close it off.”
“And to fight off whatever is guarding it,” adds Gerontius.
“How can you get us there? Have you divined its location?” asks Sybele.
“No- I’ve acquired a new spell that will take me there.” Orbius shows a rare grin. “Even if I don’t know my destination’s location, superior teleport will take us there.”
“Wow,” says Jezebel, impressed. Orbius puffs up a little.
The spell takes the party to another underground area, this one near a great pool of seething lava. Waves of heat emanate from it. The writhing, churning, egg-like portal is above the lava. Before our heroes can close on it and attempt to seal the gateway, a quartet of white slaadi engage them. A furious battle breaks out, with Gerontius tumbling in to attempt to attack- and being counter-tumbled by one of the slaadi!* Its great claw rends him, but then the slaad winces as Horbin hits it with a lower resistance and a quickened searing light. Then the two groups are smashing together in a terribly violent melee, with Inoke expanding to huge size and battering one of the slaadi down with a single charge!**
But most of the slaadi fade into greater invisibility even as one of them spits a gob of raw Chaos at Baron Lillamere. The elven sorcerer shrieks as it burns him. “AGGHH!” he cries, writhing. Gritting his teeth, he casts a puncture at the one that spit at him- at this point, one of two visible slaadi.
The other one hits him with a ruin.
This is the first time Lillamere has been the target of an epic spell that is meant to kill him. And it is almost the first time his spell turning has come into play.
With a sigh of relief, the noble elf sees the ruin return to its sender, who croaks in pain as it blasts through him. Lillamere grins at him and flies up into the air above the magma.
Unforutnately, it’s right about that time when the magma starts to churn and spit, and suddenly a huge worm of red-hot molten rock rears up, glowing so brightly that it blinds Gerontius and Chakar! Then it belches forth a slew of magmin! Suddenly the situation has changed.
Inoke bull rushes one of the invisible slaadi into one of its invisible fellows, knocking both of them down like ten pins. Not for the first time he congratulates himself on his steadfast perception. Then he leans over and smacks the Mace of St. John into the lava worm! The mace flares as the hot rock instantly super-heats it, but Inoke’s energy adaptation prevents it from suffering any damage. The worm rears back and blasts out a chunky rain of molten rock at the warmind, who staggers back a pace.
”Miscreant!” cries the mace.
“Shut up, stick!” cries Lillamere from above. He grits his teeth against the Chaos churning through his flesh. He can see another weird slash of entropy eating at Gerontius now, too.
The party and the slaadi and their worm ally are exchaging heavy blows and magical assaults with remarkable speed. Lillamere in particular hits the worm- and the lava- with maximized cone of cold after maximized cone of cold. Finally the lava freezes over, and the magmin have perished quickly; and the combined efforts of Veil, Chakar, Horbin, Gerontius and the huge Inoke manage to destroy the remaining slaadi. Inoke’s incredible charges are so effective that they leave everyone else in awe: this fellow is a match for Thrush, if anyone they have ever met is.
Afterward, Lillamere uses a limited wish to ape a seal portal, and then the party departs. As they leave, Chakar wonders, Is there anything to prevent the slaadi or their master from re-opening the gates?
Nobody hears his unspoken question, so he shrugs inwardly. What will come to pass, will come to pass.
***
3 p.m., Brelana
The day is not yet old. Several more greater teleports, plane shifts and gates are available for travel. Gerontius suggests another trip to Valonia, to search out this ‘Kryzzo’ who slew the orcish Galadorians and burned down their temple. “Not that I care about them,” he says dismissively, “but this Kryzzo guy might be a danger to my people!”
“Well, if they’re Galadorians, don’t they deserve a chance?” Inoke points out.
“They are orcs,” the Mace of St. John exclaims. “I find it preposterous that they would follow the Light! Impossible! It must be a ruse.”
“You don’t know everything, that’s for sure,” Horbin the MFKG Holy snaps. “So why don’t you just stay out of this for now?”
The party discusses the idea for a few minutes, then Orbius offers to locate him with a greater scrying. “Then we can make an informed decision.” The party agrees, and Orbius casts his spell, using a bowl of water for a focus. Then he gasps. “He’s in another Galadorian church, tearing it up right now!”
“Let’s go,” Horbin says sharply.
Our heroes arrive almost instantly, thanks to the powerful teleportation magic Orbius possesses and his trump of Lester. Then they move quickly, and within one minute of their arrival they come within sight of their foe. He appears as a naked man, gleaming with sweat in the light of the fire he has lit in the church behind him, but with the head of a billygoat. He is covered in blood and appears to be chewing on something suspiciously like an ear. He spits it out and grins at our heroes. He is in a state of obvious sexual excitement.
“A billyman!” exclaims Horbin. ”Foul demon! Servant of Bleak! Prepare to be cast down!!” he roars.
The party rushes forward, and Kryzzo cries, “Why do you oppose me? You serve Chaos! We should be on the same side!”
They do not heed the demon’s words. Instead, Chakar seizes him in a profoundly painful hold that the demon must greater teleport out of. Then Kryzzo attempts to summon aid from the realms of demons, but Inoke’s harrying prevents him from concentrating sufficiently!
“Curse you!” the billyman spits as Chakar grabs him again. Inoke’s mace swings down on him, and Kryzzo shrieks in pain and terror.
“Greetings, demon!” shouts the Mace of St. John.
And in one more crushing blow, the billyman is extinguished.
***
4 p.m., Var
The day is not over yet. Part of the party trumps back to Var, in order to pick up their orcish captives to return them to Valonia. But the orcs get mouthy, and a debate ensues about what to do with them, with Orbius favoring locking them up as enemies of the state and Inoke arguing that they are in the Light, and should be returned to Valonia to do what they will. Finally his arguments carry the day, and the party returns to Valonia to find Lillamere dead.
“Asmodeus, striking from afar again,” Sybele moans. “We are so screwed. What do we do about him?”
Nobody has a good answer to that one.
Next Time: The fey party! The best commune evar!! And our heroes realize they overlooked the most important part of the Stinking Pit!!!
*We use the counter-tumbling variant from Sword & Fist: if your enemy can beat your Tumble check they can still take an attack of opportunity on you.
**Inoke maxxed out his psionic lions charge, he used his heedless charge maneuver at maximum, and (iirc) he also used his warmind chain of personal superiority. Thus, he charged; made a full attack; and got to subtract his entire BAB from his AC and add twice that to damage with Power Attack. All told he dealt 471 hp of damage in that charge.
10/27/370 O.L.G., 10:30 a.m., the hills north of Var
“Some devoted take a day, month or even a year blindfolded, to mark their faith in Dexter, the Blind Son of Galador,” Horbin continues. He’s describing some of the practices that the devotees of his faith use to connect with the divine. And then the assassin is there, stepping from the shadows... tearing into Chakar over and over with unbelievable speed, quick as mercury. This time, it is accompanied by four hounds of deepest shadow, which tear at Orbius, trying to drag him down!
But this is exactly what our heroes have been waiting for.
A blaze of light as bright as the sun bursts all around. The assassin’s hounds bay in alarm, most of them blinded, but Gerontisu too loses his sight. Horbin’s sunburst works a little too well!
The Eye of Boccob responds first with a lance of disruption, which blasts the strange dogs back and destroys one of them outright. A chain lightning from Lester dances between the attackers, the main bolt wounding the assassin, as Lillamere launches a maximized seeker missiles at the villain. Then Chakar and Horbin rush in, crushing the dogs with fist and mace. Inoke rushes forward at the assassin with a roar even as Lester’s horrid wilting draws the moisture from it. It staggers, then wilts the rest of the way under a barrage of attacks from the massive warmind. Orbius finishes the last dog with a volley of magic missiles.
“Got him,” breathes Lillamere.
“Hey! A little help here!” Gerontius exclaims. “I’m blind!”
Horbin restores his sight in moments. Meanwhile, Lillamere gingerly examines the wavy-bladed dagger. Its very presence makes Inoke, Horbin and Orbius nervous. Lillamere performs a legend lore and gets a small bit of doggerel.
Killer of man, dressed in black
Vicious smile, dagger in back
Hired to kill, wrapped in grey
Striking unseen, night or day
Man-killing knife
Ending his life!
“Humph,” says Horbin. “That’s not exactly an identify, is it?”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” Orbius declares, and casts perfect identify. Then he whistles. “That’s... an impressive weapon,” he tells the group. “It’s a human-killer, and of epic potency- in the right hands. Otherwise...” He shrugs. “It’s of moderate power.”
“Figures,” complains Gerontius. “Still, the dagger is my weapon. I wouldn’t mind keeping it.”
Lester shrugs. “Take it as your share, if you care.”
“Of course,” Gerontius answers quickly. He’s only mildly disappointed.
***
1:30 p.m., Var
It seems strange that the question of what to do with the afternoon can be of world-shaking importance, but there you have it. There are a lot of things on the party’s to do list. One of the most pressing is the protection of Brelana from the worm portal that must be somewhere nearby.
”I can get us to it,” Orbius assures the party. “We just have to be ready to close it off.”
“And to fight off whatever is guarding it,” adds Gerontius.
“How can you get us there? Have you divined its location?” asks Sybele.
“No- I’ve acquired a new spell that will take me there.” Orbius shows a rare grin. “Even if I don’t know my destination’s location, superior teleport will take us there.”
“Wow,” says Jezebel, impressed. Orbius puffs up a little.
The spell takes the party to another underground area, this one near a great pool of seething lava. Waves of heat emanate from it. The writhing, churning, egg-like portal is above the lava. Before our heroes can close on it and attempt to seal the gateway, a quartet of white slaadi engage them. A furious battle breaks out, with Gerontius tumbling in to attempt to attack- and being counter-tumbled by one of the slaadi!* Its great claw rends him, but then the slaad winces as Horbin hits it with a lower resistance and a quickened searing light. Then the two groups are smashing together in a terribly violent melee, with Inoke expanding to huge size and battering one of the slaadi down with a single charge!**
But most of the slaadi fade into greater invisibility even as one of them spits a gob of raw Chaos at Baron Lillamere. The elven sorcerer shrieks as it burns him. “AGGHH!” he cries, writhing. Gritting his teeth, he casts a puncture at the one that spit at him- at this point, one of two visible slaadi.
The other one hits him with a ruin.
This is the first time Lillamere has been the target of an epic spell that is meant to kill him. And it is almost the first time his spell turning has come into play.
With a sigh of relief, the noble elf sees the ruin return to its sender, who croaks in pain as it blasts through him. Lillamere grins at him and flies up into the air above the magma.
Unforutnately, it’s right about that time when the magma starts to churn and spit, and suddenly a huge worm of red-hot molten rock rears up, glowing so brightly that it blinds Gerontius and Chakar! Then it belches forth a slew of magmin! Suddenly the situation has changed.
Inoke bull rushes one of the invisible slaadi into one of its invisible fellows, knocking both of them down like ten pins. Not for the first time he congratulates himself on his steadfast perception. Then he leans over and smacks the Mace of St. John into the lava worm! The mace flares as the hot rock instantly super-heats it, but Inoke’s energy adaptation prevents it from suffering any damage. The worm rears back and blasts out a chunky rain of molten rock at the warmind, who staggers back a pace.
”Miscreant!” cries the mace.
“Shut up, stick!” cries Lillamere from above. He grits his teeth against the Chaos churning through his flesh. He can see another weird slash of entropy eating at Gerontius now, too.
The party and the slaadi and their worm ally are exchaging heavy blows and magical assaults with remarkable speed. Lillamere in particular hits the worm- and the lava- with maximized cone of cold after maximized cone of cold. Finally the lava freezes over, and the magmin have perished quickly; and the combined efforts of Veil, Chakar, Horbin, Gerontius and the huge Inoke manage to destroy the remaining slaadi. Inoke’s incredible charges are so effective that they leave everyone else in awe: this fellow is a match for Thrush, if anyone they have ever met is.
Afterward, Lillamere uses a limited wish to ape a seal portal, and then the party departs. As they leave, Chakar wonders, Is there anything to prevent the slaadi or their master from re-opening the gates?
Nobody hears his unspoken question, so he shrugs inwardly. What will come to pass, will come to pass.
***
3 p.m., Brelana
The day is not yet old. Several more greater teleports, plane shifts and gates are available for travel. Gerontius suggests another trip to Valonia, to search out this ‘Kryzzo’ who slew the orcish Galadorians and burned down their temple. “Not that I care about them,” he says dismissively, “but this Kryzzo guy might be a danger to my people!”
“Well, if they’re Galadorians, don’t they deserve a chance?” Inoke points out.
“They are orcs,” the Mace of St. John exclaims. “I find it preposterous that they would follow the Light! Impossible! It must be a ruse.”
“You don’t know everything, that’s for sure,” Horbin the MFKG Holy snaps. “So why don’t you just stay out of this for now?”
The party discusses the idea for a few minutes, then Orbius offers to locate him with a greater scrying. “Then we can make an informed decision.” The party agrees, and Orbius casts his spell, using a bowl of water for a focus. Then he gasps. “He’s in another Galadorian church, tearing it up right now!”
“Let’s go,” Horbin says sharply.
Our heroes arrive almost instantly, thanks to the powerful teleportation magic Orbius possesses and his trump of Lester. Then they move quickly, and within one minute of their arrival they come within sight of their foe. He appears as a naked man, gleaming with sweat in the light of the fire he has lit in the church behind him, but with the head of a billygoat. He is covered in blood and appears to be chewing on something suspiciously like an ear. He spits it out and grins at our heroes. He is in a state of obvious sexual excitement.
“A billyman!” exclaims Horbin. ”Foul demon! Servant of Bleak! Prepare to be cast down!!” he roars.
The party rushes forward, and Kryzzo cries, “Why do you oppose me? You serve Chaos! We should be on the same side!”
They do not heed the demon’s words. Instead, Chakar seizes him in a profoundly painful hold that the demon must greater teleport out of. Then Kryzzo attempts to summon aid from the realms of demons, but Inoke’s harrying prevents him from concentrating sufficiently!
“Curse you!” the billyman spits as Chakar grabs him again. Inoke’s mace swings down on him, and Kryzzo shrieks in pain and terror.
“Greetings, demon!” shouts the Mace of St. John.
And in one more crushing blow, the billyman is extinguished.
***
4 p.m., Var
The day is not over yet. Part of the party trumps back to Var, in order to pick up their orcish captives to return them to Valonia. But the orcs get mouthy, and a debate ensues about what to do with them, with Orbius favoring locking them up as enemies of the state and Inoke arguing that they are in the Light, and should be returned to Valonia to do what they will. Finally his arguments carry the day, and the party returns to Valonia to find Lillamere dead.
“Asmodeus, striking from afar again,” Sybele moans. “We are so screwed. What do we do about him?”
Nobody has a good answer to that one.
Next Time: The fey party! The best commune evar!! And our heroes realize they overlooked the most important part of the Stinking Pit!!!
*We use the counter-tumbling variant from Sword & Fist: if your enemy can beat your Tumble check they can still take an attack of opportunity on you.
**Inoke maxxed out his psionic lions charge, he used his heedless charge maneuver at maximum, and (iirc) he also used his warmind chain of personal superiority. Thus, he charged; made a full attack; and got to subtract his entire BAB from his AC and add twice that to damage with Power Attack. All told he dealt 471 hp of damage in that charge.
Look_a_Unicorn
First Post
Thanks for the updates Jester, fluidly written and action packed as always!
the Jester
Legend
The Fey Party (and so forth)
Date, time and place indeterminate
The fey party is a lot of fun for our heroes (Lillamere, of course, has been true resurrected by Horbin by now). The party helps Alcar look for the Elf-King of Ketzia, but they can’t find him, although pretty much every fey they ask claims that he was “just here a few minutes ago.”
Of course, a fey party isn’t the sort of thing one can organize into ranks and take roll until one finds their desired partygoer.
The party is thick with all sorts of fey creatures, large and small. The party takes place on a series of lightly-wooded hills, spreading out of view all around. Horned satyrs play their pipes for nymph dancers. Sylphs cavort in the air, spilling wine on the tables laden with game and muffins below. Will-o-wisps dart furitively along, playing games of hide and go seek with their kinfolk. Animals are everywhere, birds and snails and bats and cats and dogs and stags. There are gnat-sized glowing things that are more powerful than most of our heroes. The rich aroma of roasting meat mixes with the smoke of the roaring fires, and large sections of the crowd are enveloped in intoxicating smokes from strange smoking herbs and odd bundles of flowers thrown into the fire.
Our heroes have a blast. Hollyhock, Lillamere’s relatively new pseudodragon familiar, has a blast and gets a little pseudodragon nookie from another of his kind who happens to be at the party. Most of our heroes generally get really loaded on a variety of drinks, strange perception-twisting bits of food and smoking herbs. Best of all, while they are at the party, there is no scrystriking. Nobody is blasted from afar by Asmodeus.
Alcar is quite frustrated with his inability to find the faerie king. A commune he had performed some days past had told him that the Elf-King of Ketzia would aid him in his most important, most personal quest: to recover his backpack of infinite food. His best magic item of all time, he bore it proudly for years as the Angel of Food; but then- judgment! Disaster! He was found wanting by the politicians of Heaven, the damned short-sided angels that stripped him of his title and his backpack.
He must find it again, he must restore his honor. If only he could speak to Galador directly! But even the thought makes Alcar quail. The brilliant radiance surrounding Galador might blast anyone but the strongest of the archangels to oblivion by its mere presence! Alcar sighs. He must struggle to prove himself until he regains his pack. Curse it!
There is much merriment. Inoke, who (like several of the other party members present) has a date from Lester’s Temple of Elemental Good with him, ends up in a threesome with her and a dryad. Sybele gets too drunk for her own good and vomits an enormous gout of sick on a terribly offended fey who storms off. The other fey around her seem to think this was a terribly dangerous gaffe, and warn her that she has earned the enmity of a leshay. She passes out face down in her gravy.
As the party goes on, Lillamere shape changes into a big bunny and cuddles with the fey. They really seem to enjoy that, especially a few that have ingested some strange fluid that apparently enlivens their sense of touch in a very pleasant way.
Periodically throughout the party, as Alcar asks after the fey king, he sees a very pretty green cat. Over the course of the event, our heroes start to suspect that the cat is the king of the fairies, but though our heroes talk to him as if he is, the cat does not answer.
Eventually it ends, as all parties must, but it lasts a lot longer than most such things.
***
11/15/370 O.L.G., 9 a.m., Var
The morning after they leave the party, our heroes find that 18 days have passed.
“That’s pretty good, really,” comments Orbius.
“Yeah, they like me,” Alcar smiles.
At noon the former Angel of Food performs what must, perhaps, be termed the Best Commune Evar.
What the f—k?! Yes.
Why? Yes.
But how? Yes.
What the hell for? Yes and no.
He pauses to think for a moment.
Where? Yes.
Are you sure? Of course.
Alcar struggles with himself. Surprisingly, this line of questioning is actually touching on something worthwhile; otherwise, the answers would be less complex. What does it mean? He frowns.
Can I talk to you later? Yes.
A couple of hours later our heroes meet for drinks in the Three Rubies tavern. Lester and Alcar swap stories; they have traveled together many times in the past, but years have gone by since then. Even recently, Alcar has only seen some of the action.
“Yeah, for instance the pit fiend,” remarks Inoke. “You weren’t there for that, were you?”
“Pit fiend!” exclaims Alcar. “No, but I wish I had been! Where did you fight him?”
“Blendorag,” Orbius answers. “It was Thizli, Fiend of the Stinking Pit.”
“Ooh, did you already hatch the phoenix egg?”
“What?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot! Must be all the pot,” Lester remarks.
“You mean you didn’t know about it?”
“What are you talking about?” Baron Lillamere asks.
“According to Malford and Dexter- who I used to travel with, by the way- there was a phoenix egg guarded by the pit fiend, and if you rescued it and guarded it for a year and a day, it would hatch and grant you a wish.” Alcar pauses. “I can’t believe it! You guys didn’t get it!”
“Let’s go!” exclaims Gerontius.
“Wait, I want to do some divinations first,” Orbius says, and soon he casts contact other plane.
What guise did the King of Fairies wear last night when I saw him? Unknown.
Given our means, what is the easiest way to get the phoenix egg from Blendorag? Teleport.
What creatures guard the egg? Devils.
What is the most powerful type of devil that guards the egg? Xerfilstyx.
How many are there? Four.
What wards have been placed directly on the egg to prevent us from taking it? Symbols.[/i]
What effect will a Mordenkainen’s disjunction have on the egg? Unward.
If I cast Mordenkainen’s disjunction on the egg, will it destroy the hatchling? No.
What is the name of the leshay with a grudge against Sybele? Flannery.
What could Sybele do to make Flannery forgive her? Slay.
If we were to all be disguised as orcs and teleport into Flannery’s area and teleport away mind blanked[/i], would we get away with it?[/i] Yes and no.
“I hate that answer,” he grumbles.
Our heroes return to the Stinking Pit.
***
The stars. What are they? When the world is on the inside of a big bubble, what are those tiny points of light? What is the meaning of their movements (for at least some of them do indeed move)?
The important thing, for us, is to know that a certain alignment, a conjunction, if you will, is nearing. When it happens, many things are possible. Many crossings may happen. Things will be able to cross over.
From the depths of Hell, Asmodeus studies the skies of a million worlds and watches the conjunction forming. The skies between two worlds will overlap, and many things will be possible. Many enemies might be slain, maneuvered into destroying each other.
From somewhen else, from the ashes of another cosmos, a dark intelligence looks on as well. There are possibilities when the wall between realities is thin. There are two of them left who might yet be able to tear down the abomination the Master created and restore the dark equilibrium that ought to exist.
And from somewhere else again, from the depths of the bedrock of all reality, ancient eyes look on the possibilities grimly. I knew that there would be weakness at the stress points of the boundary when I agreed to send them back in the first place, so long ago, but I thought there would be nothing to prey on them. I did not count on the remaining angels.
He steeples his fingers in deep, deep thought.
Next Time: Our heroes’ mission to recover the egg of the phoenix (and hatch it!)
Date, time and place indeterminate
The fey party is a lot of fun for our heroes (Lillamere, of course, has been true resurrected by Horbin by now). The party helps Alcar look for the Elf-King of Ketzia, but they can’t find him, although pretty much every fey they ask claims that he was “just here a few minutes ago.”
Of course, a fey party isn’t the sort of thing one can organize into ranks and take roll until one finds their desired partygoer.
The party is thick with all sorts of fey creatures, large and small. The party takes place on a series of lightly-wooded hills, spreading out of view all around. Horned satyrs play their pipes for nymph dancers. Sylphs cavort in the air, spilling wine on the tables laden with game and muffins below. Will-o-wisps dart furitively along, playing games of hide and go seek with their kinfolk. Animals are everywhere, birds and snails and bats and cats and dogs and stags. There are gnat-sized glowing things that are more powerful than most of our heroes. The rich aroma of roasting meat mixes with the smoke of the roaring fires, and large sections of the crowd are enveloped in intoxicating smokes from strange smoking herbs and odd bundles of flowers thrown into the fire.
Our heroes have a blast. Hollyhock, Lillamere’s relatively new pseudodragon familiar, has a blast and gets a little pseudodragon nookie from another of his kind who happens to be at the party. Most of our heroes generally get really loaded on a variety of drinks, strange perception-twisting bits of food and smoking herbs. Best of all, while they are at the party, there is no scrystriking. Nobody is blasted from afar by Asmodeus.
Alcar is quite frustrated with his inability to find the faerie king. A commune he had performed some days past had told him that the Elf-King of Ketzia would aid him in his most important, most personal quest: to recover his backpack of infinite food. His best magic item of all time, he bore it proudly for years as the Angel of Food; but then- judgment! Disaster! He was found wanting by the politicians of Heaven, the damned short-sided angels that stripped him of his title and his backpack.
He must find it again, he must restore his honor. If only he could speak to Galador directly! But even the thought makes Alcar quail. The brilliant radiance surrounding Galador might blast anyone but the strongest of the archangels to oblivion by its mere presence! Alcar sighs. He must struggle to prove himself until he regains his pack. Curse it!
There is much merriment. Inoke, who (like several of the other party members present) has a date from Lester’s Temple of Elemental Good with him, ends up in a threesome with her and a dryad. Sybele gets too drunk for her own good and vomits an enormous gout of sick on a terribly offended fey who storms off. The other fey around her seem to think this was a terribly dangerous gaffe, and warn her that she has earned the enmity of a leshay. She passes out face down in her gravy.
As the party goes on, Lillamere shape changes into a big bunny and cuddles with the fey. They really seem to enjoy that, especially a few that have ingested some strange fluid that apparently enlivens their sense of touch in a very pleasant way.
Periodically throughout the party, as Alcar asks after the fey king, he sees a very pretty green cat. Over the course of the event, our heroes start to suspect that the cat is the king of the fairies, but though our heroes talk to him as if he is, the cat does not answer.
Eventually it ends, as all parties must, but it lasts a lot longer than most such things.
***
11/15/370 O.L.G., 9 a.m., Var
The morning after they leave the party, our heroes find that 18 days have passed.
“That’s pretty good, really,” comments Orbius.
“Yeah, they like me,” Alcar smiles.
At noon the former Angel of Food performs what must, perhaps, be termed the Best Commune Evar.
What the f—k?! Yes.
Why? Yes.
But how? Yes.
What the hell for? Yes and no.
He pauses to think for a moment.
Where? Yes.
Are you sure? Of course.
Alcar struggles with himself. Surprisingly, this line of questioning is actually touching on something worthwhile; otherwise, the answers would be less complex. What does it mean? He frowns.
Can I talk to you later? Yes.
A couple of hours later our heroes meet for drinks in the Three Rubies tavern. Lester and Alcar swap stories; they have traveled together many times in the past, but years have gone by since then. Even recently, Alcar has only seen some of the action.
“Yeah, for instance the pit fiend,” remarks Inoke. “You weren’t there for that, were you?”
“Pit fiend!” exclaims Alcar. “No, but I wish I had been! Where did you fight him?”
“Blendorag,” Orbius answers. “It was Thizli, Fiend of the Stinking Pit.”
“Ooh, did you already hatch the phoenix egg?”
“What?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot! Must be all the pot,” Lester remarks.
“You mean you didn’t know about it?”
“What are you talking about?” Baron Lillamere asks.
“According to Malford and Dexter- who I used to travel with, by the way- there was a phoenix egg guarded by the pit fiend, and if you rescued it and guarded it for a year and a day, it would hatch and grant you a wish.” Alcar pauses. “I can’t believe it! You guys didn’t get it!”
“Let’s go!” exclaims Gerontius.
“Wait, I want to do some divinations first,” Orbius says, and soon he casts contact other plane.
What guise did the King of Fairies wear last night when I saw him? Unknown.
Given our means, what is the easiest way to get the phoenix egg from Blendorag? Teleport.
What creatures guard the egg? Devils.
What is the most powerful type of devil that guards the egg? Xerfilstyx.
How many are there? Four.
What wards have been placed directly on the egg to prevent us from taking it? Symbols.[/i]
What effect will a Mordenkainen’s disjunction have on the egg? Unward.
If I cast Mordenkainen’s disjunction on the egg, will it destroy the hatchling? No.
What is the name of the leshay with a grudge against Sybele? Flannery.
What could Sybele do to make Flannery forgive her? Slay.
If we were to all be disguised as orcs and teleport into Flannery’s area and teleport away mind blanked[/i], would we get away with it?[/i] Yes and no.
“I hate that answer,” he grumbles.
Our heroes return to the Stinking Pit.
***
The stars. What are they? When the world is on the inside of a big bubble, what are those tiny points of light? What is the meaning of their movements (for at least some of them do indeed move)?
The important thing, for us, is to know that a certain alignment, a conjunction, if you will, is nearing. When it happens, many things are possible. Many crossings may happen. Things will be able to cross over.
From the depths of Hell, Asmodeus studies the skies of a million worlds and watches the conjunction forming. The skies between two worlds will overlap, and many things will be possible. Many enemies might be slain, maneuvered into destroying each other.
From somewhen else, from the ashes of another cosmos, a dark intelligence looks on as well. There are possibilities when the wall between realities is thin. There are two of them left who might yet be able to tear down the abomination the Master created and restore the dark equilibrium that ought to exist.
And from somewhere else again, from the depths of the bedrock of all reality, ancient eyes look on the possibilities grimly. I knew that there would be weakness at the stress points of the boundary when I agreed to send them back in the first place, so long ago, but I thought there would be nothing to prey on them. I did not count on the remaining angels.
He steeples his fingers in deep, deep thought.
Next Time: Our heroes’ mission to recover the egg of the phoenix (and hatch it!)
the Jester
Legend
Current party roster:
Inoke (barb 2/psiwar 2/ftr 6/warmind 13)
Alcar (half-celestial elf ftr 2/clr 13)
Lester (elem 14/warrior of chaos 4/divine oracle 3/contemplative 2/paraelementalist 1)
Baron Lillamere (sorcerere 20/argent savant 1)
Sybele (ftr 8/egoist 13/warrior of chaos 4)
Chakar (monk 18)
Veil Raybender (doppleganger ftr 6/mindspy 4/warrior of chaos 1)
Seethe (druid 18)*
Sir Maxwell (paladin 14/knight of the chalice 6)*
Cohorts:
Orbius Visionary (diviner 7/divine oracle 10/archmage 2/loremaster 2)
Jezebel (half-dragon rogue 5/sorc 8/arcane trickster 1)
*Seethe's player lost his character sheet for a long time and switched back to Maxwell, his previous character, when he was scrystruck by Asmodeus (prolly 1-2 updates away, this is a very minor spoiler).
Inoke (barb 2/psiwar 2/ftr 6/warmind 13)
Alcar (half-celestial elf ftr 2/clr 13)
Lester (elem 14/warrior of chaos 4/divine oracle 3/contemplative 2/paraelementalist 1)
Baron Lillamere (sorcerere 20/argent savant 1)
Sybele (ftr 8/egoist 13/warrior of chaos 4)
Chakar (monk 18)
Veil Raybender (doppleganger ftr 6/mindspy 4/warrior of chaos 1)
Seethe (druid 18)*
Sir Maxwell (paladin 14/knight of the chalice 6)*
Cohorts:
Orbius Visionary (diviner 7/divine oracle 10/archmage 2/loremaster 2)
Jezebel (half-dragon rogue 5/sorc 8/arcane trickster 1)
*Seethe's player lost his character sheet for a long time and switched back to Maxwell, his previous character, when he was scrystruck by Asmodeus (prolly 1-2 updates away, this is a very minor spoiler).
the Jester
Legend
Egg of the Phoenix
11/15/370 O.L.G., 11:20 a.m., the Stinking Pit
Guided by Orbius’ divination, our heroes begin searching for the phoenix egg of the Stinking Pit of Blendorag. Despite the overthrow of the pit fiend Thizli, the foul, choking smoke still wafts up from the lake of lava below. Visibility is extremely limited, so our heroes, affected by a mass overland flight, have to search very carefully and thoroughly. Orbius keeps a piercing clarity up on himself in order to increase his own effectiveness. The stench of brimstone requires all of our heroes to periodically retreat in order to get some fresh air.
Hours pass in slow examination of every crack, ledge and little hole in the walls of the vast pit. Finally, the Eye calls out, “I have found something!” The others fly over to Orbius, and there is a flurry of buffing magic as our heroes prepare for trouble. Then Gerontius finds the secret door’s mechanism as trips it; and our heroes enter a 60’ long stone hall. Within it are four horrifying monsters that seem like some sort of ghastly half-humanoid, half-slug. Their skin is a clammy looking blue color. Each bears a wicked-looking falchion. Behind them is a large bright orange egg. As Orbius spies it, symbols flare to life on it! Death magic and fear wash over our heroes like ocean water over one’s feet on the beach, tingling but not actually slowing anyone down more than half an instant.
Orbius casts Mordenkainen’s disjunction at the egg, and the symbols crackle and wither, the spells that maintain them dissipating like smoke in a strong wind, and Alcar rushes forward, smiting evil, and Chakar is at his side. The devils react instantly, with one of them trying to confuse Lester and another fading from view. The third targets Inoke with a greater dispel magic, reducing his considerable magical and psionic enhancements significantly, while the fourth immediately enters melee with Chakar, trying to sweep the monk’s feet, but he leaps over the devil’s strike nimbly, then adroitly taps the monster in the face with his foot. Though it looks gentle, like the merest touch, the devil grunts as its nose and cheek shatter. It groans, then reels back as Alcar pounds it in the side with his mace. Chakar reaches up and grasps the monster’s shoulder, then suddenly somehow pulls it down and into a grapple!
Lester, meanwhile, uses the ol’ horrid wilting and quickened flame strike combination, focusing on the bad guy that tried to confuse him (though the horrid wilting naturally wounds all the devils). Orbius then adds a quickend true strike and a disintegrate to the action, and the devil explodes in fine spray of dust!
Inoke, stripped of most of his enhancements, expands to huge size again. His shrugs mentally; he needn’t spend more time getting ready, the fight is already here and he’s convinced the party can win it. One of the monsters is down, one is grappled by the dwarven monk, one is moving to try to persuade Chakar to let him go and one of them is still standing off a little ways. So he unleashes a sweeping strike at Chakar’s victim and the devil rushing to his aid, crushing and killing both of them and then cleaving onto the remaining devil, who has just unleashed a frigid cone of cold that hurt our heroes a good deal.
“It’s over, devil!” Chakar announces to the last surviving xerfilstyx, flying up to eye level with the monster. In a flurry of blows, Chakar pounds the monstrous half-slug in the head, splits its skull, reaches in and removes its brain! It falls, dead, and he casts the organ aside.
“Wow, that was a good move! If you hadn’t before, your worth you’d have proved!” Lester cries, impressed.
Alcar gestures. “The egg is ours.”
***
Deciding what to do about hatching the egg- which really means safeguarding it for a year and a day and then getting a wish- is next on the to do list. “Wait,” suggests Gerontius. “That’s all we have to do.”
“That’ll take forever,” Lester argues. “That’s not very clever. Perhaps a fast time plane would not be our bane.”
So the party returns to Sigil, to the Eyebrary as they have taken to calling it. They know the Eyebrarian has access to a demiplane wherein time flows quickly; he allowed them to use it to study his books. He is willing to allow them to use it again in return for a magical tome, which they purchase on the streets of Sigil. Then they prepare to spend a subjective year and a day in the demiplane, which should be about four months of time on Cydra.
The scrystrikes continue while they are within the demiplane, and very soon the party makes the grim decision to mind blank everyone all the time. “We have to stay on our guard constantly,” Orbius insists, and he’s right. Anything else would leave them open to constant magical attack. It is more than worrisome that Asmodeus has taken an interest in them. What did we do? Orbius wonders.
If only he knew- it is not what they have done, it is what they are about to do.
Inoke’s genie eventually issues forth from its bottle and grants him his third wish, finally able to be freed. There is great rejoicing, and the genie thanks Inoke for his kind and dignified treatment. Inoke uses the wish to refocus all the weapon training he has had in the greatclub to apply instead to the heavy mace. He is not certain whether it will work; but it does, much to his relief.
Over the year and a day, subjective, that the party spends in the demiplane, Inoke listens faithfully to the preaching of the Mace of St. John day after day. Soon he has turned to Law as an ideal, though he certainly opposes Law in conjunction with Evil. Indeed, Inoke comes to realize that only through the perfect union of Law and Good can the greatest good for the greatest number be achieved.
About midway through the period the party spends on the demiplane, a series of sendings come from the Delphinate, apparently being sent out to all of the most powersful spellcasters known on Cydra. Lillamere, Orbius, Lester and Horbin are all on that list. The gist of the message is that the Delphin wishes to summon a great conclave of spellcasters to discuss the establishment of a ‘Law of Magical War’. All of our heroes are intrigued. Our heroes will hear more about this later, they are certain.
Finally the phoenix egg begins to smoke and shake, and about a day later, it begins to crack until it suddenly bursts free in a blaze of glory.
Awed by the spectacular radiance before them, Orbius goes down on one knee and cries, “Oh glorious phoenix, welcome back from your long exile! We have rescued your egg and hatched you over a year and a day, as-“
The phoenix gives out a loud anguished cry. “You fools!” he cries. “You utter fools! You have broken the bargain! Now the prison will not hold him! Now the One Who Came Before is free to return!”
“God dammit,” curses Sybele, “we’ve made another enemy, haven’t we?”
Next Time: Who is the One Who Came Before? Who did he ‘come before’? What does all this have to do with our hereos’ current rash of problems? And what about their wish??
11/15/370 O.L.G., 11:20 a.m., the Stinking Pit
Guided by Orbius’ divination, our heroes begin searching for the phoenix egg of the Stinking Pit of Blendorag. Despite the overthrow of the pit fiend Thizli, the foul, choking smoke still wafts up from the lake of lava below. Visibility is extremely limited, so our heroes, affected by a mass overland flight, have to search very carefully and thoroughly. Orbius keeps a piercing clarity up on himself in order to increase his own effectiveness. The stench of brimstone requires all of our heroes to periodically retreat in order to get some fresh air.
Hours pass in slow examination of every crack, ledge and little hole in the walls of the vast pit. Finally, the Eye calls out, “I have found something!” The others fly over to Orbius, and there is a flurry of buffing magic as our heroes prepare for trouble. Then Gerontius finds the secret door’s mechanism as trips it; and our heroes enter a 60’ long stone hall. Within it are four horrifying monsters that seem like some sort of ghastly half-humanoid, half-slug. Their skin is a clammy looking blue color. Each bears a wicked-looking falchion. Behind them is a large bright orange egg. As Orbius spies it, symbols flare to life on it! Death magic and fear wash over our heroes like ocean water over one’s feet on the beach, tingling but not actually slowing anyone down more than half an instant.
Orbius casts Mordenkainen’s disjunction at the egg, and the symbols crackle and wither, the spells that maintain them dissipating like smoke in a strong wind, and Alcar rushes forward, smiting evil, and Chakar is at his side. The devils react instantly, with one of them trying to confuse Lester and another fading from view. The third targets Inoke with a greater dispel magic, reducing his considerable magical and psionic enhancements significantly, while the fourth immediately enters melee with Chakar, trying to sweep the monk’s feet, but he leaps over the devil’s strike nimbly, then adroitly taps the monster in the face with his foot. Though it looks gentle, like the merest touch, the devil grunts as its nose and cheek shatter. It groans, then reels back as Alcar pounds it in the side with his mace. Chakar reaches up and grasps the monster’s shoulder, then suddenly somehow pulls it down and into a grapple!
Lester, meanwhile, uses the ol’ horrid wilting and quickened flame strike combination, focusing on the bad guy that tried to confuse him (though the horrid wilting naturally wounds all the devils). Orbius then adds a quickend true strike and a disintegrate to the action, and the devil explodes in fine spray of dust!
Inoke, stripped of most of his enhancements, expands to huge size again. His shrugs mentally; he needn’t spend more time getting ready, the fight is already here and he’s convinced the party can win it. One of the monsters is down, one is grappled by the dwarven monk, one is moving to try to persuade Chakar to let him go and one of them is still standing off a little ways. So he unleashes a sweeping strike at Chakar’s victim and the devil rushing to his aid, crushing and killing both of them and then cleaving onto the remaining devil, who has just unleashed a frigid cone of cold that hurt our heroes a good deal.
“It’s over, devil!” Chakar announces to the last surviving xerfilstyx, flying up to eye level with the monster. In a flurry of blows, Chakar pounds the monstrous half-slug in the head, splits its skull, reaches in and removes its brain! It falls, dead, and he casts the organ aside.
“Wow, that was a good move! If you hadn’t before, your worth you’d have proved!” Lester cries, impressed.
Alcar gestures. “The egg is ours.”
***
Deciding what to do about hatching the egg- which really means safeguarding it for a year and a day and then getting a wish- is next on the to do list. “Wait,” suggests Gerontius. “That’s all we have to do.”
“That’ll take forever,” Lester argues. “That’s not very clever. Perhaps a fast time plane would not be our bane.”
So the party returns to Sigil, to the Eyebrary as they have taken to calling it. They know the Eyebrarian has access to a demiplane wherein time flows quickly; he allowed them to use it to study his books. He is willing to allow them to use it again in return for a magical tome, which they purchase on the streets of Sigil. Then they prepare to spend a subjective year and a day in the demiplane, which should be about four months of time on Cydra.
The scrystrikes continue while they are within the demiplane, and very soon the party makes the grim decision to mind blank everyone all the time. “We have to stay on our guard constantly,” Orbius insists, and he’s right. Anything else would leave them open to constant magical attack. It is more than worrisome that Asmodeus has taken an interest in them. What did we do? Orbius wonders.
If only he knew- it is not what they have done, it is what they are about to do.
Inoke’s genie eventually issues forth from its bottle and grants him his third wish, finally able to be freed. There is great rejoicing, and the genie thanks Inoke for his kind and dignified treatment. Inoke uses the wish to refocus all the weapon training he has had in the greatclub to apply instead to the heavy mace. He is not certain whether it will work; but it does, much to his relief.
Over the year and a day, subjective, that the party spends in the demiplane, Inoke listens faithfully to the preaching of the Mace of St. John day after day. Soon he has turned to Law as an ideal, though he certainly opposes Law in conjunction with Evil. Indeed, Inoke comes to realize that only through the perfect union of Law and Good can the greatest good for the greatest number be achieved.
About midway through the period the party spends on the demiplane, a series of sendings come from the Delphinate, apparently being sent out to all of the most powersful spellcasters known on Cydra. Lillamere, Orbius, Lester and Horbin are all on that list. The gist of the message is that the Delphin wishes to summon a great conclave of spellcasters to discuss the establishment of a ‘Law of Magical War’. All of our heroes are intrigued. Our heroes will hear more about this later, they are certain.
Finally the phoenix egg begins to smoke and shake, and about a day later, it begins to crack until it suddenly bursts free in a blaze of glory.
Awed by the spectacular radiance before them, Orbius goes down on one knee and cries, “Oh glorious phoenix, welcome back from your long exile! We have rescued your egg and hatched you over a year and a day, as-“
The phoenix gives out a loud anguished cry. “You fools!” he cries. “You utter fools! You have broken the bargain! Now the prison will not hold him! Now the One Who Came Before is free to return!”
“God dammit,” curses Sybele, “we’ve made another enemy, haven’t we?”
Next Time: Who is the One Who Came Before? Who did he ‘come before’? What does all this have to do with our hereos’ current rash of problems? And what about their wish??