D20 Future Android Jokes

[Romers]

I'm making a Biodroid for an online d20 future game... who has Perform; Standup Comedy. So people, those of you who like bad jokes, what are your robot jokes?
This may end up in scripts to make a bot to RP the Biodroid.

here goes.
"Knock Knock"
"Whos there?"
"C:\"
"See Colon Slash?..."
"Dump C:\"

 

[SiderisAnon]

There was an old 80's movie called "Heartbeeps" that was a comedy. All of the main characters are androids. One of them was a stand up comic. I admit, it's been a decade or so since I watched it, but if you can find it for rent somewhere, you might get some good material out of it.

I found it on Amazon.
Heartbeeps

 

[EricNoah]

Humorbot 5.0: So I says, "Super collider? I just met her!" [The audience laughs.] And then they built the super collider. Thank you, you've been a great audience.

 

[Zephrin the Lost]

Oh good lord... this might be perfect:

Eric Idol ( yes THAT Eric Idol) wrote a novel, 'the Road to Mars' which was all about a robot tagging along with two stand-up comedians on the trans-Martian circuit, doing gigs on various moons and so on... the robot was trying to analyze humor with the goal of becoming a comedian itself.

Not sure if I remember any specific jokes, but who better to borrow from when trying to imagine a robot's approach to comedy?

--Z

 

[Roudi]

Sadly the book ends just before his comedic debut, so we don't get many jokes out of the robot.

 

[trancejeremy]

I would think Futurama would have a lot of jokes about robots (since one of the main characters was one.)

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Mystery Science Theater 3000?

Of course, you are also obligated to watch Futurama from end to end:

So then the hookerbot says, "That's not my expansion slot."
And my friend says, "That's not my gold-plated 25-pin connector.

Bender (Dreaming): "Kill all humans! Kill all humans! Must kill all humans!"
Fry: "Bender, wake up!!"
Bender: "What what? Uh! I was having the most wonderful dream! I think you were in it!"

 

[Roudi]

Fry: Bender! Did you touch The Crushinator?
Bender: Are you crazy? A woman that fine, you have to romance first.

 

[Warren Okuma]

Ship's Computer infected by the Humor Virus HV-6.9: My wife was screaming "Blue screen of death! Blue screen of death!", so I rebooted her. Turned out to have been just a nightmare.

And speaking of nightmares, didja see that now MicroSoft Robot OS? It was so bad I sent it to my mother board in law.

 

[demiurge1138]

Jokes by robots, for robots. There's some non-Grandma safe language there. But they're oh so worth it.

A sample:
Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, "Why did you do that?" She replies, "I wanted to see time fly!" The robot says, "Ah ... A perfect subject for elimination," and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.

Demiurge out.