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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Shallown" data-source="post: 2465976" data-attributes="member: 1368">I think two things are important in this case. First you are responsible for only you so what ever choices you make should be from that point of veiw. You are not responsible for how others act only your self.Second you teach people how to treat you. If you allow people tobe abusive they are going to be abusive if that is their nature. You can allow it or leave it that is up to you. I think you have to weigh relationships to know if they are worth it. I know everyone has there flaws and downfalls that makes dealing with them an effort but is that effort worth the reward of knowing them. I stood up to my parents years ago and basically told them (since they had seemingly forgotten) that I was an adult and didn't take orders from them any more. I loved them they loved me and we had a great relationship but they crossed a line and I let them no without any hositility just a plain and simple honest responce. Since then they haven't tried to give me orders ever. Now things are always request. And we still have a great relationship.I believe a great deal in the I statements and such to express how you feel and not saying You make me feel this way becuase ultimately how you feel is somewhat up to you. I know we all have our limits in how much we can conrtol how we feel but you can learn to not let things hurt as much. Or As I put it "I've been called worse by better people".When your father says something hurtful just ask calmly how does that help? If you question it each and everytime eventually you will get through or realize the effort of getting through is not worth it to you. My mom says things that annoy the hell out of me but it is not worth the fight to me to do something about it. I accept it as part of who she is. I teach her it is okay to treat me that way becuase ultimatley it is okay.Later</blockquote>

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