I am so sorry for your loss. I have gone through the loss of loved pets myself and I can tell you that in time it won't hurt so much. All the wonderful memories will be left and the painful ones will fade.
Until that happens just take it one day at a time.
Once again, Thank you all. this has been really rough on me and my lover John. We have purchased an Oak chest to put Keysters ashes in when they are returned to us. I will be placing his remains in my library next to my desk just over the spot where he used to lay beside me when I was online.
I think I must have cried a solid 8 hours yesterday but I'm good so far today. (good thing to Work waits for no grieving animal parent.)