Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Golden Bee" data-source="post: 9590354" data-attributes="member: 7041055">Song and Dance by Oscar Rios“You can’t just sell someone’s flatware back to them,” said Diamond.“No,” corrected O’Rourke, “you can’t. But it’s smarter to return them for a reward.”A light was on in JP Diamond’s office. It was a few days after Christmas, his girlfriend wasn’t home… suspicious. He snuck in with the help of his trusty parrot Tango, opened the door, and confronted…his parents!? Yes, having read of his daring adventures across the globe, they had finally traveled from Baton Rouge to New Orleans. Letters and phone calls simply wouldn’t do.So…who was this Captain Ivanova woman? And was he going to marry her?A good detective can play his cards close to the chest. A great one can conceal that the woman he’s being ‘convinced’ to court left her underpants in the next room over. But while it was nice to see his parents, they should get back to their hotel, because he had to prepare for a costume party.Also on the guest list: Butler Aldous Bingen, cat burglar Thaza O’Rourke, and (in a rare situation) another detective, Yoriko "Zelda" Sayuki.Normally, the only detective JP teams with is his beau, the Captain. But the women’s styles couldn't be more different. Saeki could move mountains with her charming, easy-going nature. The Captain was more the type to find the guilty party and harangue them into confession and/or catatonia.(In a lighter moment: the theme of the costume party was Sherwood Forest, and both Zelda and Bingham insisted on being Will Scarlet. The most obscure Merry Man.)The galawas fine, until midnight, when every skilled singer and dancer lost their skills and fell into melancholia. Bebe Broussard, musical impresario, could barely speak. The investigators quickly ruled out poisoning or enemy sabotage as the reason… But what was it?!The next day, the newspapers revealed the extent of the damage. All across the South, anyone with any song or dance skill was in at best a deep depression, or at worst taking their own lives. Thaza, pawning off some of the silver punch bowls that she stole at the party, decided to spend the money on a long distance call to Australia. Florence Zee, lounge singer extraordinaire, had gone through similar symptoms… but, having been woken up at 5 AM, felt inspired to pen a new song! In fact, she sounded positively manic.Of the four adventurers, only one was a Louisiana native. That caused some problems. Zelda, eager to crack the case on her own, found a redacted newspaper story and looked up the author, Beatrice Piper. Piper had written something that important people didn't want printed, and her problem quickly became Zelda's when up the stairs came hulking bruisers Mr. Black and Mr. Blue.Now, JP would probably take the beating out of a sense of Southern gallantry. Captain Ivanova would stand behind the door and drive a wedge between the two, running her mouth until she could summon a group of local Pinkos to even the odds.Zelda apologized.  This actually worked.Thaza had a harder time learning the lessons of the Crescent City. She was fine hitting up her criminal contacts like “Jinx” Jenkins. But when it came to genteel members of society, the fact she was raised by apes shined through. She used her strength to put cracks into a city elder’s desk, and when escorted out by a butler, foolishly followed his advice to "Wait, because someone interesting wants to talk to you.” That person was a cop on the take, who gave the woman some truncheon-to-kidney Southern Hospitality. ***Some more digging, and the characters found out the source of the problem: two rich idiots practicing voodoo. Wanting to have the best party season ever, they had summoned the Greek muses of dance and song into their bodies, distorting arts across the world.But where could one track down living embodiments of music and motion? How about a New Year's Eve dance-marathon out by the old amusement grounds?While all this was going on, JP was constantly distracted by spending time with his parents, his Russian explorer "friend", and his annoying sister-in-law Alice. So on New Year's Eve, he had to combine the rescue operation and date night. The 10th Annual New Orleans Charleston Contest was the place to be… And everyone knew it. Including Mr. Black and Mr. Blue, who were at the next table over. They suggested the group "take things outside”. Sounded like a plan! Unhappily for our heroes, Mr. B and Mr. B had done the reading. JP was impervious to physical beatdowns... His Japanese friend, not so much. The twins were giving Yoriko a good shellacking when Thaza LEAPT off a fire escape, knocking everyone onto the gravel. And when the group resorted to gunfire, the crooks on stage decided to skip the final two hours and declare the embodied Muses the winners! If they would just accept their trophy, then they could sign for the prize money backstage…Captain Semya Ivanova, without a second’s hesitation, reached into her purse. She pulled out her whip, and smashed one of the branches of a chandelier.She pushed through the crowd, and addressed a ballroom filled with hundreds of people. This would be an extremely difficult thing to do, hijacking a party as an obvious foreigner. “Wait. These girls are upper class right? Why doesn't Ivanova just berate them?” And indeed, she did, telling the ‘spoiled brats’ they should get back to their limo and head home. She made sure to stall long enough for Saeki and O’Rourke to evade Black & Blue, and follow the socialites…The moment having passed, the musicians started playing again, no longer maddened by Terpsichore and  Euterpe. The Captain was going to retake her seat when a bedraggled JP Diamond coaxed her into the green room.Ivanova, for the first time in a very long time, began to cry. She reached into her purse and pulled out a small, dusty box.The rest of the group was ecstatic at the news. Zelda and Thaza had persuaded the Muses that they were too good for this earth, convincing the socialites to undo the ritual. JP’s pal Devika was over the moon at impending nuptials. (The Louisiana shamus quietly returned the additional ring box she had slipped into his jacket.)Of course, one person was unhappy with the news. He had no godly beings to capture and manipulate. And the Undying PI was set to wed the World’s Most Dangerous Explorer. This wasn’t just horrible news. This was unacceptable. So proclaimed THE SINISTER SKULL!</blockquote>

Verification