disenchanted with D&D

[Maraxle]

Been there, done that. I just got back from my ~8 month leave of absence from the gaming world. I was getting burnt out on the game, and my relationship with my best friend and full-time player was going downhill. Now, we're finally patching things up, and I'm getting back into gaming. Now I'm starting to burn out on this board, but that's another thread...

 

[Xeriar]

Been there, done that. I just got back from my ~8 month leave of absence from the gaming world. I was getting burnt out on the game, and my relationship with my best friend and full-time player was going downhill. Now, we're finally patching things up, and I'm getting back into gaming. Now I'm starting to burn out on this board, but that's another thread...

Board burn-out is fun! Fortunately, you can just leave and most people don't miss you.

For D&D burn out, sometimes a different, game can help too (when you get back in), - different system even - . Cracking open Call of Cthulhu, L5R, Shadowrun or a World of Darkness book is pretty fun, if only for the stories.

I know at least one GM who has yet to play a game. He's a pretty awesome GM, but still, the fact that he's never been a player is kind of amusing...

 

[Rashak Mani]

I recommend Earthdawn if you have a chance to play it...

 

[mmadsen]

Re: goobers

I thought "I could be pulling 4ft airs at the skatepark" or "I could be lifting weights increasing my health and performance" or "I could be shadow boxing because all my players despite having black belts in Taekwondo couldn't stand 3 seconds with me because they have massive guts do to way too much time at this table!"

Some of us lift weights, do martial arts, and play sports without feeling guilty about a Sunday-afternoon gaming session. I don't see how physical activities and D&D are directly opposed.

 

[SurgicalSteel]

two things

First, something I realized lately is that I have never been particularly fond of DMing, though I do it all the time.

I have always wanted to play.
I started DMing ultimately because I was the only one who could.
I was basically forced into it.

You mentioned the fact that you still get excited about a variety of new stuff.
What you are probably excited about is the idea of PLAYING, not DMing.
Seeing that new stuff makes you excited because of how fun it would be to play AGAINST those things.

Heres what you should do.

#1 leave RPGing behind for about a month and go ride your bike, watch a football game, etc, etc.
#2 Make a new character you will play, and play for the next few years, with no GMing at all.

The game is not about DMing, it never has been.
It is about playing.

Thats what makes it fun.

 

[Alcamtar]

Yeah, I feel that way sometimes. I have similar thoughts.

I've got two sons, a 3 yr old and a 3 month old. Sometimes I think I'd rather spend time with them, enjoy the time while I can before they grow up. I mean I only game once a week, but sometimes even that seems like too much. Or maybe I should take my wife out on a date. Or maybe I should get a philosophy book and spend some time thinking and growing. Maybe I should just take a walk. Maybe I should do some work around the house that I've been putting off for a year or three.

Sometimes I feel like a pathetic loser. I'm not really much worse than the guys at work... I mean I don't think gaming is any *worse* than going to the local bar, or spending hours with an Xbox, or spending thousands on amateur racing, or whatever. But some of them just spend time with their families and don't really have any hobbies... sometimes I wonder if they're more normal, or if they're happier, or if they're better.

In the end I guess it doesn't really matter. Set your priorities and do what you feel is appropriate and important.

I have quit before. Several times I went cold turkey for a year or two, but came back. Recently my wife criticized me for spending too much time gaming, so I quit to please her. (She then said she didn't want me to quit, just spend more time with her... so I started playing again. )

Lately I have been thinking about just quitting.

I'm really not thrilled with d20, and it seems to be taking everything over, and I'm starting to feel like there's nothing I want to play any more. Gaming is sort of fun, but just sort of. Maybe its the guys I play with. But how do you find the perfect group?

Oh well. I think you did the right thing. I may do it one of these days too.

 

[Sheol]

Don't panic!

I've been hit by burnout a couple of times, and with a few weeks taken completely off, my enthusiasm soon returned.

As far as missing out of life through D&D, the way I see it is this.
I run D&D to enhance my life.
It's a fantastic way to bring a bunch of my mates together regularly, and to escape, for just a few hours each week, from the all too mundane pressures of every day life.
I think the problem rises when people play D&D and it becomes their life, because when push comes to shove, it is just a game - all be it a very cool one - and it's no replacement.

Take some time out. Do the stuf you feel you are missing. Don't let yourself feel guilty - trust me, it would be worse for your players if you tried to keep running the game with no heart for it (A mistake I've made in the past that always resulted in arguments and lots of dead P.Cs).

I dunno, this is just me talking, and it's prbably a load of poop

Anyway, good luck, and whatever you do, be happy!

 

[William Ronald]

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Originally posted by Edena_of_Neith
My sympathies.
I do understand - I have not played in a face-to-face game in a long time.

Since you asked, I wish to share with you the one thing I think is relevant to this.

Dungeons and Dragons is, ultimately, about fun.
That's what the IR was about - fun (for those who did not have fun, my sincere regrets.)

It's not about rules.
It is most certainly NOT about chic.
It isn't about tactics or strategy.
It isn't about how to play the game.

It's about ... well, it's about ...

People getting together with pepsi and pizza and having a good time, with side trips to the store, running through the nearby woods, and playing ping pong (since usually the ping-pong table is in the basement, and that's where we played.)

It's about recreating what you felt when you read a good book.
It's about being Frodo, if you could be Frodo. Or Shea. Or John Carter, Warlord of Mars. Or perhaps Conan. Or maybe it's one of the heroes from the film Matrix, in a modern cyberpunk type of game.
It's about all the excitement you felt reading those books. It's being IN the book, facing the dangers the characters faced, feeling the thrill of overcoming the dangers like they did (or feeling the agony as they win and your character goes bye-bye ... unfortunately there cannot be the thrill of victory if there is not the risk of the agony of defeat, IMO.)

And it's about friends.
I mean it ... about friends.
Having friends.
Looking forward to that weekend with your friends.
Shooting the breeze with them, chatting as you walk down the street, reminenscing with them as you drink pop over a table.

Or perhaps, competing with them on a video game at the local arcade, and talking over a shake or ice cream, on a warm summer day.

- - -

It is not within my power to make RPGs work for you.
All I am doing is commenting on why they worked for me.

But I am not you.

I sincerely hope you can enjoy RPGs.
I hope you find some fun in them.

I do not have the magic formula you need for fun.
I have simply set down some of the formulae that worked for me.

Good luck to you.

Edena_of_Neith
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Well spoken, indeed, Edena!

It is easy to get burned out as a DM. I have seen it happen.

A break from gaming can help. Another technique my group uses is to have multiple people DM. We have five people who have DMed at different times.

The key question with gaming or any other recreational activities is are you and the other participants having fun.

It would also seem that the relationships between the people in the game are suffering. I would suggest that it is time to reevaluate those relationship and take a look at yourself, pseudo hero. You seem to have some conflicts with the players.

My advice is to try to work them out. A good friend is hard to find.

 

[gregweller]

I love D&D. The thought of it at least. I still get excited about new books and new ideas and thoughts of scenarios. But when I sit down to play, it all flushes away and there is this lack of drive.

I think that this might be the heart of the problem right here. I remember a thread from awhile back that talked about who actually *plays* the game, and who actually *thinks* about playing the game. And if I recall correctly, there were a lot of people who never play the game for a variety of reasons, but one of the reasons was that some people just prefer to think about it and never do it. It's almost a kind of meta-gaming in a way.

I remember something similar to this (at least I think the concept is similar) during my college days. Now this was actually before there was DnD. There was a book called 'Trout Fishing in America' by Richard Brautigan, that a bunch of us loved. It wasn't about trout fishing, really ...but it was, in a sense about the idea of trout fishing in a late-60s druggie sort of way. So every year for 3 or 4 years, when the opening day of trout fishing season opened, we'd go out trout fishing in America. Not trout fishing, but trout fishing in America -- it usually involved dropping acid and having long conversations about what we would be doing if we were trout fishing. You kind of had to be there, I guess.

I guess my point is, if the idea of playing still gives you pleasure, if you still enjoy reading about it and fantasizing about what you would do if you were playing, you're still getting something out of it. So don't get caught in the trap of thinking that you *have* to play the game to enjoy the game. One more example--I love reading about the game of Go, but I don't have the slightest desire to play the game of Go.

 

[Dark Jezter]

I know this post is late, and most everything has been covered already, so please forgive me.

This definately sounds like a case of burnout. It happens to everyone who has a hobby every once in a while. Three years ago, I was addicted to the game Starcraft: I'd play it on a near-daily basis, my friends and I would run long multiplayer marathons, and I'd often stay up into the wee hours of the morning running games on battle.net. This went on for months, until one day I suddenly found out that it just wasn't fun for me anymore. I no longer had any desire to play. The game had completely lost it's appeal for me.

So, with a somewhat heavy heart (it's never easy giving up on something you've invested so much time and effort into) I put the game away and found other things to do. After taking a vacation from it for nearly a year, I reinstalled it and started playing again, and I was able to enjoy it again (although I did pace myself).

So, I guess all I can recommend is taking a vacation from RPGs. Take a week off, or a month off, or even a year off. If you're tired of being the DM, see if someone else wants to take that job while you play as a PC for a while. I also noticed in your post that you seemed distracted by the great outdoors; maybe you should go hiking, camping, fishing, or horseback riding. Enjoy the sunshine and fresh air during these summer months, and maybe when winter comes, you'll be ready to sit down and play some more D&D.

Anyways, that's my advice.