Here's your adventure! Ar, matey!
Here's one I had sitting on the back burner... To really sell the adventure you've got to ham it up, especially Captain Achu (who was modeled after micheal keaton's character in much ado about nothing by kenneth branaugh).
Here is the first part...
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"Captain Achu & the Hidden Pirate"
Scenario: For one reason or another the PCs need to get aboard a ship. However, a lull in ship building coupled with it being the off-season for trading vessels, added with increased pirate activity, give them only one choice. The Rogue Trader. Perhaps this ramshackle vessel is the only ship going to their forsaken destination (or even close to it), or maybe the PCs need to travel discreetly. One way or another, they end up signing on with The Rogue Trader, captained by the legendary dwarf Achu, who refuses to let any aboard his ship pay for passage and insists that they work as the rest of the crew works. Those are the conditions of passage. The adventure takes them across the seas in a ship led by a mad captain, and ends with them uncovering the identity of a pirate-lord hidden aboard who intends to steal the ship.
Fayruz’s Plan: Sneak cranium rats aboard and have them poison citrus. If that doesn’t work, steal boat at shipwreck setup. If that doesn’t work, as a last resort, give the captain coordinates for a tiny bay that is haunted by ghostly sirens.
DM’s Option: Framing the Adventure: Framing the adventure involves setting it up as a flashback, leading up to the moment where the narration leaves off at the beginning of play. In this case, you can begin with the narration by Captain Achu below. Of course, the end of the adventure occurs when Achu finishes his exaggerated tale and the PCs have just walked in hearing him boast of their deeds as his own.
“This is the story of yours truly, captain of the Rogue Trader. I had been cast overboard in a storm and had to swim miles – miles, sir, mark that – to reach even a single bit of driftwood. And with the four winds as my witness, I was scorched by the sun, circled by sharks, and was about to let go of this piece of wood, when I spotted land. (nods off) I had been at port for two weeks, and no sooner had I contacted my Ship’s Mate than I was ready to select a crew for my next voyage…”
NPCs: The parrot (used to belong to Fayruz who lost it while gambling with Nyn on land, only says “oh, so you’re a funny guy”, “bite me”, “suck it up sonny”, and “end of the line”), Ship’s Mate Nyn (a sarcastic, quick-witted young woman), Captain Achu (a mad dwarf), and the pirate lord Fayruz (disguised as “Marcus”)
1. Signing Aboard
Your search for an outbound ship has led you to The Rogue Trader, a ramshackle boat repaired with shipyard scraps nearly covering the fading red letters bearing its namesake. The assembled crew looks rather bedraggled, and you wouldn’t be surprised if some of them were fresh off a pirate vessel or out of prison. The crew has assembled into a line waiting to see the Ship’s Mate, a winsome woman with a parrot on her shoulder.
Any attempts to communicate with Ship’s Mate Nyn are met with a hard stare. The parrot squawks “End of the line!” Nyn informs them that all seeking passage will be treated just as crew and expected to lend a hand just as they do, receiving a share of profits in accord with their experience. If they protest they have no sea skills, the parrot squawks, “Suck it up, sonny!”
Once the PCs get in line, Marcus (speaks with a Spanish accent), the sailor in front of them, makes small talk, then introduces himself. “I am Marcus de la Lumbra, born Marcus de la Sierra de Amibique Santo Padre Feliz. My father loved to play music, but his father want him to be an accountant, so he send my father to monastery, where they don’t let him play music. The monks would rap his knuckles anytime he start to hum. So, my father jump the monastery walls and hide in a flock of sheep. Then he took his old guitarra and come to this country. After a while he get lonely and call back home for a wife, writing that he has all this land and is a rich man. When his wife, Felina, find out how he trick her, she tell him that she not going to sleep with him until he start making an honest living and buy some properties. And my father, he change his ways so fast, and they make lots of babies. So, I am here.”
Now, Fayruz may be making up the names, but the story is essentially true.
At this point, have the PCs discuss terms of their contract, small talk with Marcus, and whatever else is appropriate given their circumstances. The parrot, of course, heckles them with its four quips, especially being fond of saying “bite me” when a PC gets enraged.
2. The Captain’s Impromptu Speech
Barely have you gotten in line when a greasy looking dwarf with a wiry black beard dressed in a riding trenchcoat covered with patches steps off the ship. This must be the captain of the ship. He eyes the crew and limps down the ramp, bursting into an impromptu speech.
(Captain Achu was modeled after Micheal Keaton’s character’s voice from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. He’s a bit crazy and intense, very physical and tends to fall asleep mid-sentence. This scenario requires that the DM act out the Captain’s dialogue and responses from the crew be handled by the players. Before play designate one player to have crew member lines. Every time anyone says the captain’s name “Achu”, someone on the crew (any player) says “Bless you!”)
Captain speech: As devout seamen aboard the Rogue Trader your duties shall include, but not be limited to, knowing where the yardarm is at all times. If you should be knocked overboard while we are turning by the yardarm, then I would be most unpleased…(angry gestures) and you would…(grabbing a PC, then releasing him, fixing coat) Among your other duties shall be rigging the ship, cleaning the ship, raising and lowering of sails…of anchor…providing a lookout for pirates, and if we should be overtaken risking life and limb to fight off... (nods off) You shall remain loyal to your captain under all endurable circumstances, especially in the case of mutiny which has been known to afflict crews in the deep. (nods off, snoring) If any man should go mad while at the seas, it is your grim duty to take his life, even your dear captain’s. I expect no less from honorable seafaring folk such as yourself…(lingering grin, then goes back aboard the ship)
Ship’s Mate speech: As cap’n said, anyone hit by the yardarm volunteers his wage to the crew’s tavern fund. Your duties will include learning and loving dirty sea songs, telling exaggerated stories of our travels at every port, feigning contagious illness in event of pirate attack, dying spectacularly in a storm or jaws of a sea monster, holding out for higher pay at the most crucial moment, uttering superstitions in foreign waters foreshadowing what is to come, and calling for mutiny when the ale runs out. Any questions?
Question from crewmember: What about generally being gutless?
Ship’s Mate: That too, thank you.
(Allow the PCs to ask questions and make jokes as appropriate, answered by smart-aleck parrot if appropriate or else by the Ship’s Mate)
Question from Marcus: And do we get to mutiny if he doesn’t pay us?
Parrot: Oh, so you’re a funny guy?
Question from Marcus: I am sorry, that is a silly question. What about drinking to excess, gambling with money we don’t have (*cough* at the moment) and, you know, loafing around pretending to be busy when it only takes two men to run a fully rigged boat?
Ship’s Mate: Good point, I’ll have to include that in the contract.
3. Casting Off
Soon you are ready to cast off. As the crew raises anchor, you notice the ship leaning far to starboard. Wait a second! All the cargo is being stored on the starboard side and the ship’s enormous anchor was the only thing balancing the cargo’s weight on the port side. Soon, the ship is going to lean so far it may indeed capsize in port! Unless somebody does something!
If any PC thinks to ask the captain, ship’s mate, or senior crew about the leaning, they’ll dismiss it as standard procedure. If pressed, they’ll explain how there’s a leak on the port side and riding at a tilt, while it might slow them down, keeps the water from pouring into the storage below deck while moving at high speeds. Any PC with seafaring skills may make an appropriate check at DC 20 to surmise this information. Otherwise, the PCs estimate they have 6 rounds to act before the ship leans too far to be righted up and will soon thereafter capsize. The two most obvious “solutions” are moving cargo from the port to the starboard side and dropping anchor. Each crate weighs 500-700 pounds, so moving them across the 30’ deck is quite a challenge without assistance. If the PCs move 2000 or more pounds to the port side, the ship starts to take on water and the problem must be rectified immediately or the ship’s ballasts will flood. Dropping the anchor simply requires knocking the two sailors manning the anchor out of the way on a successful bull rush, grapple and hold, or flying tackle. Attempting to talk the sailors out of their course of action is exceedingly difficult (DC 25) as they know they’re right, though a glib PC may succeed. Of course, if the PCs mistakenly drop the anchor or move cargo around, Captain Achu should be quite angry with them, but he isn’t!
“You are a genius! (kisses forehead of a PC) For if you trepidatious souls had not reminded me by (dropping anchor or flooding the ship) then surely we would have forgotten to untie the ship’s line and ripped the pier off its supports. Bless you souls.”
Sure enough, the line was never untied. If the PCs do nothing to stop the ship’s take-off, a DC 22 Spot check notices the line wasn’t untied, and the PC who notices can cut the line (make a Reflex save DC 15 or get whipped by the tensioned rope for 1d6 damage). Otherwise, a chunk of the dock is ripped off its foundation and sinks into the harbor. The dockmaster is left cursing.
4. Sea Songs
The crew has been giving you a hard time since you’ve come aboard, when on the second night a burly crewmember named Joaquin with a tattoo of a man tied to an anchor on his neck invites you to come over. The mood is very somber. They’ve obviously got something up their sleeves. Do they plan to slaughter you and dump you overboard? Worse? With your weapons close at hand you stride over. Noticing the Ship’s Mate tuning a lute nearby, you ease up a bit. “Do you know any sea songs worth the singing?” Asks a bilge rat with bald head and missing teeth. Something gives you the feeling you’re undergoing a rite of passage among these sailors.
Captain is an Honest Man
O my captain is an honest man
When he swears off the drink
He does not jest about my daughters
Nor does he make me walk the plank!
O my captain is an honest man
When he is upon the sea
All his bad habits he leaves on shore,
And lets our bad habits be!
O my captain is an honest man
When his crew is true
He did not kill a single one of us
Nor cook us in a stew
O my captain is an honest man
For he told me right up front
“Lad, I’m taking 20% of your share
So that I may get me drunk!”
Stab a Pirate
Many men go down, go drown, drown in the sea, and me?
No sir, No sir, I don’t let it bother me
Many men cheat and steal, deal and weal, but will I draw steel?
No sir, No sir, I don’t let it bother me
Many men don’t work, slack off, talk too much,
The only man can bother me has a name, what’s his name?
A pirate! A pirate! Stab a pirate in the back!
When your fortunes have all left you and you’re drifting out at sea,
With naught but an empty barrel and nothing good to eat,
When your wife has met another man, but you will never know,
For you’ve an anchor chain secured about your feet,
When you call upon the gods for help and it begins to rain,
Who do you get to thank for your vow of poverty?
A pirate! A pirate! Stab a pirate in the back!
Without My Love
If you have a love like mine then you know
How hard
5. Rats!
You’ve only been three days at sea when all of a sudden you are woken up in the middle of the night by sounds of a struggle. Turning around in your hammocks, you see the Captain with a torch in one hand lighting the lanterns. “Wake up!” He yells. In his other hand he grabs a crewmember by the ear, dragging him over to a group of three other crew men who are held at bay by the rest of the crew. “What do you have to say for yourselves?” Demands the Captain and before anyone can respond, goes on. “But if you are not true men, then we would be fools to believe what you say, and a fool, as we all know, is not a true man. Do I look like a fool to you?”
Terrified Crewmember: Not anymore than the rest of us, Cap’n.
Captain: You see, direct proof of their crimes. These men have called me a fool. And they’d like you believe they are fools to, but only a smart man can call himself a fool, for a fool doesn’t know what he is. Therefore, these cunning sons of jackals…(angry gestures)…Sword!
The mad captain intends to execute these four men for their perceived crime of poisoning the ship’s food supplies. The truth of the matter is a group of cranium rats (rats with brain matter exposed who form a hive mind and can cast limited spells and have limited telepathic communication) smuggled aboard by the pirate Fayruz have poisoned the supplies hoping to weaken the crew for their master. Captain caught the four crewmembers right when they discovered the supplies were poisoned and believes them to be responsible. If the PCs do not intervene, one of the crewmembers shouts “Rat!” and the entire crew goes up in panic, and the Captain leaps into the nearest PC’s arms. Achu is mortally terrified of rats, and orders the crew to hunt the rat down. If the PCs do intervene they are given the task of discovering the truth of the matter by sun-up or the captain will send the four men overboard.
Questioning the men invites frequent comments and threats by the captain. The men report earnestly that they had just discovered the bread had been dressed with invisible, scentless, poisonous mold. They determined it was there when they found an empty sack in the bread ovens marked “Yellow ochre mold! Do not ingest!” Actually, the rats put the sack there hoping it would be burned up; they didn’t poison the bread, but instead the oranges and limes (used to prevent scurvy) exclusively. Eating an orange or lime a day is superstitious practice among the crew.
Searching the supply room (Search DC 12) reveals a tiny set of rat foot prints chaotically scattered and partially swept away (by dragging the sack of poisonous mold). The footprints lead to the broom closet. Opening the broom closet door reveals a crack in the floorboards. If the PCs peer in they don’t see anything, except the bottom of the ship, partially filled with water; however, if they tear out some floorboards to explore they will confront the cranium rats!
Cranium Rat Hive Mind: You will help us to poison the fruits. You will not tell the Captain we are here. You will send the implicated crew overboard. There is no conspiracy to take over the ship. You will help us to poison the fruits…(spoken in a Jedi mind trick way)
At some point during their contact with the hive mind, when one of the PCs cracks a joke or makes a threat, the rats intone: Oh, so you’re a funny guy? (Clue #1)
Once the PCs handle the rats, dispose or purify the poisoned fruit, and establish the captured crew’s innocence, things return to normal for a day, then…
