Does an elf poop in the woods?

[Pbartender]

Silly occam. Elves are so perfect that their body uses all the chemiclas, materials, and the like that they consume and drink...

...so that all that's left is short bars of pure mithral metal.

I mean really, where did you think all that Elven chainmail came from?

 

[kirinke]

I'd figure that for wood and wild elves, they'd go where it's convienent. For the more civilized elves, I'd say that the richer ones would have indoor plumbing. Since elves are typically protrayed as 'more civilized', they might have some form of public jacks, or public restrooms. For the less than rich, it'd be the ye old chamber pot.

 

[Sejs]

Elves piss sunshine and fart rainbows.

Everybody knows this.

 

[Goblyn]

Is Vadania druish?

[Barf the Mog]She doesn't look druish.[/Barf the Mog]

 

[Tinker Gnome]

I would feel sorry for them if they could not poop!

 

[occam]

Man, given the average Int of an Otyugh, I can just see the boss monologue now...

PCs: "Before we fight, why don't you tell us your master plan?"
Otyugh: "I like poop."
PCs: "Umm, what?"
Otyugh: "Do you have poop?"

The solution's in your sig! Elf-trained otyughs!

Mmm, yummy elf-poop.

 

[caudor]

Actually, it depends on class:

Ranger or Druids: they just take a squat anywhere and blame it on their animal companion.

Wizards: Leomund's Tiny Toilet, or they use rope trick and leave it in that tiny extra dimensional space.

Clerics: they just hold it until they get back to the temple

Barbarians: don't ask

Rogue: they usually hide it. Don't be surprized if you find something unpleasant in your shoe.

Monk: they tumble while they do their business, and fling stuff all over the place. The have enough skill to avoid getting themselves dirty, and don't need to wipe.

Warlocks and Sorcerers: their poop simply evaporates, leaving a foul stench

Commoners: a chamber pot

 

[Simplicity]

Actually, elves tend the trees which will become eventual city locations to grow such that they naturally include sewer lines and toilets. The only real problem occurs when animals start to take up residence in these lines, and then the elves must carefully convince them to go elsewhere for a while so that they can use the restroom.

Old Elf adage, "Only through being one with nature, can one go number two."

 

[dragonlordofpoondari]

This is the best thread I've ever read.

 

[davidschwartznz]

You might want to check out this sourcebook: