Does an elf poop in the woods?

[Olaf the Stout]

You have a pretty smart 6-year-old on your hands there!

Olaf the Stout

P.S. Poop!

 

[William drake]

Actually, it depends on class:

Ranger or Druids: they just take a squat anywhere and blame it on their animal companion.

Wizards: Leomund's Tiny Toilet, or they use rope trick and leave it in that tiny extra dimensional space.

Clerics: they just hold it until they get back to the temple

Barbarians: don't ask

Rogue: they usually hide it. Don't be surprized if you find something unpleasant in your shoe.

Monk: they tumble while they do their business, and fling stuff all over the place. The have enough skill to avoid getting themselves dirty, and don't need to wipe.

Warlocks and Sorcerers: their poop simply evaporates, leaving a foul stench

Commoners: a chamber pot

Ok, I was fine reading all of these untill I got to this one....now I have to leave; all the crying and laughing is making my stomach hurt, so I'll finish the posts later.

This was great.
Game On

 

[Jürgen Hubert]

They don't poop, but their wastes get condensed into their hair which grows rapidly as a result. This explains why they almost always have long hair (since they then have to cut it less often) and why they have so much left over to make fancy elven ropes.

 

[Psimancer]

The reason ‘prestidigitation’ is the first spell all my spellcasters learn!

...I reckon elves have small firm stool like rabbit droppings, which they collect in wooden chamber pots...

Totally agree!

A couple of points to consider:

Human waste is incredibly toxic, and in order to use it as a fertilizer, it needs to be heavy diluted. Elves may not have this problem.

One of the reasons human waste smells bad is because of the rotting meat content. A humans’ ability to detect that is almost as acute as a dogs. Again, elves may not have this issue given that they are primarily vegetarians (at least in my campaigns).

 

[Nyaricus]

No way! That book was almost entirely fluff; there was barely any crunch at all.

THAT was the funniest freakin' thing I've read all day! LMAOROFL!!

Man, this whole thread is a... gas (yeah, I know, booo booo, hisss hisss)

cheers,
--N

 

[Jesus_marley]

Of course they do. The better question is what do they use to wipe themselves after. My guesses are leaves and pinecones, hence the depressed/constipated look on their face.

Reference:
http://www.google.com/search?q=elf+...ient=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official

stinging nettles....

 

[Angel Tarragon]

Of course they do. The better question is what do they use to wipe themselves after.

Well, the animals of the forest have to eat leaves and other greenery, so do the elves have a containred bonfire to get rid of the contaminated flora?

 

[Tharen the Damned]

This threat makes me think about Dungeon sanitation. Where does the Orc tribe go to the loo in a dungeon?
Or the Dragon? Think of a great wyrm.... must be Huge. Hmm, some dragons can burn their waste. But a silver can only freeze it.

Or look at The Worlds Largest dungeon. How much poop gets accumulated there?

The only dungeon that I know of that features a loo is RAR.

 

[Angel Tarragon]

A new use for the portable hole!

 

[Tharen the Damned]

Disintegration is very handy to process waste.