Dumb D&D Questions

[Rev. Jesse]

If you have an Ettin w/ class levels in bard & ranks in Perform (Yodel), can it sustain two bardic music abilities at once?

What happens if a halfling Shapechanges into a Purple Worm, swallows an ogre whole, then turns back into a halfling?

Can you use Polymorph Any Object to turn a ranger into a glass of water?

Feel free to respond or add your own questions.

-Jesse

 

[Xombie Master]

If you have an Ettin w/ class levels in bard & ranks in Perform (Yodel), can it sustain two bardic music abilities at once?

Yeah, but it would be so annoying that I would only allow it to perform Incite Frenzy.

What happens if a halfling Shapechanges into a Purple Worm, swallows an ogre whole, then turns back into a halfling?

An Ogre sized pile of pain for our hungry halfling.

 

[Turanil]

If you have an Ettin w/ class levels in bard & ranks in Perform (Yodel), can it sustain two bardic music abilities at once?

What happens if a halfling Shapechanges into a Purple Worm, swallows an ogre whole, then turns back into a halfling?

Can you use Polymorph Any Object to turn a ranger into a glass of water?

D&D 3.5 / d20 is broken obviously. Maybe it's time I cease to play RPGs altogether?

 

[Hussar]

If you have an Ettin w/ class levels in bard & ranks in Perform (Yodel), can it sustain two bardic music abilities at once?

I dunno, but the idea of a yodelling Ettin is just so brilliant I'm going to have to add it into my game immedietely.

What happens if a halfling Shapechanges into a Purple Worm, swallows an ogre whole, then turns back into a halfling?

A whole lot of red wallpaper.

Can you use Polymorph Any Object to turn a ranger into a glass of water?

I'm failing to see the funny in this one. What am I missing?

Feel free to respond or add your own questions.

-Jesse

How, exactly would you execute a 20th level 200 hp barbarian in a single stroke?

 

[-Warlord-]

How, exactly would you execute a 20th level 200 hp barbarian in a single stroke?

Given that a barbarian would certainly object to being sentenced to death by anyone, and given that being 20th level means that he can probably make the objection stick, I'd say the answer lies in using extreme force.

Now, if you can make the barbarian be helpless ( a nice highpowered Hold Person should do the trick), a Pit Fiend executioner can do the job.
Str 37, powerattack, using a large Greataxe +5: +19 damage from Strength, +36 from Power Attack, another +5 magic, that's 3d6+60 right there. Plus automatic critical because of a helpless target makes it 9d6+180. That makes 211 damage on average, instant kill.
On a bad hit, the Pit Fiend announces the barbarian is dead. When anyone in the audience dares to contradict him, he kicks the barbarian in the ribs proving the barbarian is indeed dead (or at least making him so after the kick). And than he eats the defiant audiencemember.

New question:
If an aboleth wizard in the deepest underdark of the Forgotten Realms opens a permanent gate, how long will it take before Elminster needs to get out his swimmingtrunks in his tower?

 

[Rev. Jesse]

The "Ranger into a Glass of Water" question is from Dragon magazines of yore. Skip Williams used to do a April edition of Sage Advice where he would answer weird questions like that. He ruled that, under the 2nd edition rules of the time, Polymorph Any Object could only turn a creature into a object of uniform composition and that a ranger could be turned into a glass, or a puddle of water, but not a glass of water. He did provide that magic like a (limited) wish might be able to turn a ranger into a glass of water, but the wording would have to be composed very carefully, otherwise it is likely that the wish would generate a giant glass of water and place the dual-weilder into it. Then there was a question about if a wish maker pharsed the wish very well, how many hit points would compose the glass versus the water. It was determined that the watery soul of the ranger would be immune to weapon attacks, but could be damaged by drinking and that a creature w/ a larger tongue would do more damage than one w/ huge teeth.
Which is why you see rangers fighting saber-tooth tigers but never cows. They are afraid of the cows.

 

[lukelightning]

If you have an Ettin w/ class levels in bard & ranks in Perform (Yodel), can it sustain two bardic music abilities at once?

No. An ettin only has two-weapon fighting abilities, and has no more ability to have two bardic music effects than a regular human bard.

 

[Mystery Man]

If you have an Ettin w/ class levels in bard & ranks in Perform (Yodel), can it sustain two bardic music abilities at once?

Thanks.
How do you explain to your coworkers who have never heard of D&D what you're laughing at so hysterically?

 

[UniversalMonster]

This one probably wasn't too stupid of a question, but it was a real one- it was asked by a very young (10 year old) player;

"Can I get a suit of armor specially made for my familiar? He's a monkey."

Honestly, it's kind of a cute question, and I dodged it by saying "well, if it were specially made..."

 

[Henry]

How, exactly would you execute a 20th level 200 hp barbarian in a single stroke?

Constantly feed him lard, encourage him not to exercise, and make sure he eats plenty of organ meat.
*rimshot*

Failing that, the Coup de Grace's fortitude saving throw means you don't need something so esoteric as an artifact-wielding pit fiend - just a strong guy (STR 16) with an axe. 3d8+12 = average of 25 damage, meaning a Fort Save DC of 35, which means a likely dead dude. On the other hand, with a fort save of probably around +20 or so without magic items (+12 (level), +2 (great fort) +6 (22 con)), then he could still make it on a 15 or higher!

So, let's take a strong guy with a greataxe, and we get 3d12+12, for 31 damage, meaning a Fort save of DC 41, which means that our 20th level barbarian, with no magic, but good CON, is a goner unless he made a 20.

And yes, some executioners in real life have to make two strokes.