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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Jeff Carlsen" data-source="post: 8034609" data-attributes="member: 61749">I've been doing a lot of thinking about this sort of thing myself, especially after spending some time with the Mothership RPG and The Hole in the Oak which focus a lot of terse, evoctive writing and thoughtful formatting.In the example below, in which I've taken some liberties, I focused on a few ideas:<ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Keep the writing as terse as possible while still being readable.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Provide the demensions and light level, but separate from the defining details.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The main room description contains all the important details of the room in a terse, evocative manner. It is possible to be read verbatim, but is intended to inform the DM's own description. The last thing in the description is each creature in bold and underline. (this leave bold alone for something else if valuable)</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The bullet points are keys to items that appear in the main description, in the form and order that they appear.</li> </ol>For my own stuff, I would also work to reduce text like "all ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws" down to "all roll" or something similar. Sometimes I'll even drop an element entirely if I can't describe it succinctly. Honestly, trying to bring down the word count is a time-consuming process. But I find it's worth it.[HR][/HR]THE SHRINE OF ORCUS40' x 40' with 20' domed ceiling; dark (unlit torches on wall)A goat's head rots atop a blood-stained alter mid-room. The rot-stench is oppressive. In one corner, bone fragments lie scattered around a human skull (remnants a living demilich). An imp sits nearby playing with a femur.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Black Altar. The bloody stone sarcophagus Cinna uses to perform heart-implant rituals. She resurrects here if not destroyed permanently. Any non-evil creature approaching within 5 feet must make a DC 18 Wisdom saving throw or be affected by confusion (as the spell) for one minute.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Rot-stench. Good-aligned characters have disadvantage on all ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws in the room. Evil-aligned characters have advantage on the same rolls.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Demilich and Imp. The demilich Ennio Cinia guards the chamber, speaking through his imp familiar, Drusus. If the PCs destroyed Jenna, he is hostile. Otherwise, he is friendly and easily flattered. He has served Orcus for 500 years and wishes to help the PCs do the same. Cinna was once his apprentice, and he will reveal her plans if asked.</li> </ul></blockquote>

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