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Dwarven war song

Aereas

First Post
I'm trying to create a dwarven war song for a battle priest of Clangeddin. Below is what I have come up with so far, but I could use some help in tweaking it so that it sounds better.

The dwrven lad, in dwarfhome born, in his kinsmen's hall ye could find him.
Then the tyrants flag over dwarfhome fell, bound by fists of iron.
"Fear not!" cried he, "for the Rock of Battle guides us in our time o' need."
With a heavy heart and his head held high, they set sail across the red sea.

Iron giants of faithless heart, defilers of the axe, attack in hoards.
Steel dwarves with hearts of gold, defenders to the last, fight as one.
In battle they meet till one remained, steel proved strongest of all.

The dwarven lad, is a soldier now – in the ranks of death ye may find him.
Though the bolts and spears may peirce his flesh – and the fire’s red glow may blind him.
“Fear not!” Says he, “For me wounds may heal, and the cleric’s light may cure me!”
“For Clangeddin’s cause I would give me life – in the ranks of death ye shall find me!”
 

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mmmm, sorry my game tends to fall back on the tradional dwarven song by terry Pratchett

Gold, gold, gold, Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, Gold, gold, gold, Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold

Or the dwarven drinking song (stolen from the real german one )
one, two, three, drink! (pause) one, two, three, drink! (pause) one, two, three! drink! (pause)

I make take my dwarves a sconch less seriously.
 

Thanks anyway. I shall just have to continue to pour over it and try and get it right. Although if you come up with any ideas I would be much appreciative ;)

Most dwarves I've played I have been satisfied with just a battle cry. However, this is a dwarven cleric in the service to a god of battle. A battle cry just doesn't seem enough for that :)
 

In Tolkien's books the dwarves would often cry out short phrases with references to famous battles or famous people at famous battles (often choosing previous battles where they were facing similiar foes as their present battle). This is the classic example of the "battle cry".

But I think a question should be asked. Is this song being sung in a hall the night before the battle? To rouse the dwarves to bloody deeds on the morrow? The song's lyrics as you have listed sound like they are sung in such a setting.

I had a different image in mind. I had the image of the dwarven army facing their foe on a ridge or some such in silence and the dwarven cleric letting out a verse that would be repeated by the army at the top of their lungs as the cleric was drawing out the last syllable/note, and then the cleric and the army going back and forth like this for a long time, slowly getting faster and faster until the army begins to chant the same thing over and over again at the top of their lungs, perhaps while beating their shields with their war axes to keep time. Then, when it is time to charge the war cleric shouts a verse in a raoring, high pitch disharmonious to the army and they all rush down the hillside continuing to chant at the top of their lungs until they clash with their foes when (of course) the song abruptly stops. :D

In the latter case the lyrics would not be difficult, would not tell a long story, but would likely call to mind foul deeds that must be avenged in blood and gore ... or some similiar thing.
 

I like what I'm seeing so far. If you don't mind, I might yoink this for a dwarven bard NPC I may be running.

I'm thinking the rhythm for the first, second and third line in each verse might go like this:

The dwarven lad, in dwarfhome born, in his kinsmen's hall ye could find him.
Ba-DUM-da dah, ba-DUM-da dah, ba-da daah-da-dah da-da-daah-dah.

Or something like that. You don't want to hear me sing, believe me. ;)

Then the tyrants flag over dwarfhome fell, bound by fists of iron.
I'd drop the "then", and maybe change "over" to "o'er" just because it sounds better. You'd be missing two syllables near the end, though.

"Fear not!" cried he, "for the Rock of Battle guides us in our time o' need."
The "The Rock of Battle" part sounds clunky; I think replacing it with Clangeddin might smooth it out a bit.

With a heavy heart and his head held high, they set sail across the red sea.
Grammar Nazi time. If you're talking about the dwarves in general, then it should go, "With heavy hearts and heads held high". Regardless, I think dropping the "a" and "his" matches the rhythm better.

I'm not sure what to make of the second stanza, and the third seems good.

Now that I think of it, I think I've heard something like this before... it's vaguely reminiscent of "The Minstrel Boy".
 

I once played a Half-giant cleric who went into every battle singing a Battle Hymn.

For inspiration I used the book of Psalms and then adapted those I thought appropriate. I'd take whole verses out, swap lines around and of course change names and references but the results were often pleasing

Try this:
1
I love thee, O , my strength, my rock, and fortress, My Lord, my rock, in whom I will take refuge; My shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower.

3 I will call upon he who is worthy to be praised: So shall I be saved from mine enemies.

4 The cords of death compassed me, the snares of death came upon me.

I called my Lord: He heard my voice out of his temple, And my cry before him came into his ears.

7 Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the mountains quaked And were shaken, because of his wroth.

8 There went up a smoke out of his nostrils, And fire out of his mouth devoured: Coals were kindled by it.

9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down; And thick darkness was under his feet.

10 And he rode upon a cherub, and did fly; Yea, he soared upon the wings of the wind.

17 He delivered me from my strong enemy, And from them that hated me; for they were too mighty for me.

18 They came upon me in the day of my calamity; But my Rock was my stay.
 

Mycanid said:
But I think a question should be asked. Is this song being sung in a hall the night before the battle? To rouse the dwarves to bloody deeds on the morrow? The song's lyrics as you have listed sound like they are sung in such a setting.

I had a different image in mind. I had the image of the dwarven army facing their foe on a ridge or some such in silence and the dwarven cleric letting out a verse that would be repeated by the army at the top of their lungs as the cleric was drawing out the last syllable/note, and then the cleric and the army going back and forth like this for a long time, slowly getting faster and faster until the army begins to chant the same thing over and over again at the top of their lungs, perhaps while beating their shields with their war axes to keep time. Then, when it is time to charge the war cleric shouts a verse in a raoring, high pitch disharmonious to the army and they all rush down the hillside continuing to chant at the top of their lungs until they clash with their foes when (of course) the song abruptly stops. :D

Normaly I play a dwarven ftr of some sort and so I usually just use a few varied battle cries as is fitting for the situation. This time I'm playing a cleric in service to a god of battle. As such a simple battle phrase just doesn't seem enough. Thats why I wanted to make a song (prolly singing a verse each round). In my group there is me and one other dwarf. I'm hoping that the other dwarf will take up my song after hearing it a couple battles :)

As for the war cadence you described that sounds cool! I can just see the enemies shifting on thier feet as a throng of dwarves sing thier curses upon thier sworn enemy :D

VoidAdept said:
I like what I'm seeing so far. If you don't mind, I might yoink this for a dwarven bard NPC I may be running.

I'm thinking the rhythm for the first, second and third line in each verse might go like this:...

By all means feel free to use it as you see fit. Its nice knowing someone likes it enough to want to use it :)

I see what you mean on a few of those changes and shall be making them to my song!

I am actually thinking of changing the song to only be 2 or 3 lines per verse but adding more verses as well. In doing so I would describe the birth of a king, a monumental battle, his death, his son taking over, and then leading to victory.

Tonguez said:
I once played a Half-giant cleric who went into every battle singing a Battle Hymn.

For inspiration I used the book of Psalms and then adapted those I thought appropriate. I'd take whole verses out, swap lines around and of course change names and references but the results were often pleasing

Try this:...

It doesn't sound very battle songish to me but I like the way its done. I may save it for a speach before a known strong foe :)
 

After thinking it over I now have a 7 verse song that hopefuly sounds better than the first version. I'm having trouble thinking of a decent way to make the third verse rhyme though :(
Do you think this one or the first vesion was sounding better?



The dwrven lad, in dwarfhome born - in his kinsmen's hall ye could find him.
Clad in steel and crowned with gold - Symbol of Hammerfall he wore, from ages torn.
With heavy heart and head held high - A ruler was crested of Dwarfhome born.

The dwrven lad, in dwarfhome born - in his kinsmen's hall ye could find him.
The tyrants flag o'er dwarfhome fell, fists of iron bound atop iron clad steed.
"Fear not!" cried he, "for The Battlefather guides us in our time o' need."

The dwrven lad, in dwarfhome born - in his kinsmen's hall ye could find him.
Iron giants of faithless heart, defilers of the axe, attack with glee.
Steel dwarves with hearts of gold, defenders to the last, fight for glory.

The dwarven lad, is a soldier now – in the ranks of death ye may find him.
Though the bolts and spears may peirce his flesh – and the fire’s red glow may blind him.
“Fear not!” Says he, “For me wounds may heal, and the cleric’s light may cure me!”
“For Clangeddin’s cause I would give me life – in the ranks of death ye shall find me!”

The dwarven lad's boy, Barely of age – in Clangeddin's grace ye shall find him.
Clad in steel and crowned with gold - Symbol of Hammerfall he wore, from ages torn.
With heavy heart and head held high - A new ruler was crested of Dwarfhome born.

The dwarven lad's boy, Barely of age – in Clangeddin's grace ye shall find him.
Iron giants clashed with steel dwarves until only one remains.
The glory of steel proved strongest of all, Dwarfhome continued to reing.

The dwarven lad's boy, Barely of age – in Clangeddin's grace ye shall find him.
Glory was won, losses suffered - A vow of vengeance spoken without care or plea.
With heavy hearts and heads held high they set sail across the red sea.
 


Aereas said:
I'm having trouble thinking of a decent way to make the third verse rhyme though :(
This is the English/Common Tongue translation so none of it needs to rhyme. In Dwarven, well that's a different matter. ;)
 

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