Libramarian
Adventurer
I think the emotional context of ruining your Dad's game is causing you to overgeneralize a bit. I remember having a temper tantrum and going to my room to pout instead of playing action figures with my mom and regretting it horribly. I think I was 5 or 6 years old. It's very affecting to feel like you've foresworn attention from your parents.
It's true that the players don't need to know the rules to play D&D. DM's imaginary playtime D&D is OK. It's a little bland. I prefer to at least have some traction with the reward system so that I have some control over my character's advancement. The other thing I don't like so much about it is it's a lot of weight on the DM's shoulders to make sure the show runs well. Good rules provide some fallback fun so the game is still enjoyable even when the DM is off their game or low on energy.
That said, I definitely think it is true that modern editions of D&D encourage the CharOp/rules-lawyer playstyle to a greater degree than most groups really would like. The reason for this is simple: this is how WotC knows how to make money. They don't know how to monetize the basic D&D experience of exploring a shared imaginary world, so they focus on tapping the peripheral CharOp aspect. Think about how much money you spent on the game when you didn't know the rules vs. how much you spent when you were being an annoying rules lawyer. That's the economic reality of the situation.
It's true that the players don't need to know the rules to play D&D. DM's imaginary playtime D&D is OK. It's a little bland. I prefer to at least have some traction with the reward system so that I have some control over my character's advancement. The other thing I don't like so much about it is it's a lot of weight on the DM's shoulders to make sure the show runs well. Good rules provide some fallback fun so the game is still enjoyable even when the DM is off their game or low on energy.
That said, I definitely think it is true that modern editions of D&D encourage the CharOp/rules-lawyer playstyle to a greater degree than most groups really would like. The reason for this is simple: this is how WotC knows how to make money. They don't know how to monetize the basic D&D experience of exploring a shared imaginary world, so they focus on tapping the peripheral CharOp aspect. Think about how much money you spent on the game when you didn't know the rules vs. how much you spent when you were being an annoying rules lawyer. That's the economic reality of the situation.