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Enberoth: Industrial Era D&D (5e) (V0.1). Looking for feedback/editors!
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<blockquote data-quote="Blue" data-source="post: 7012818" data-attributes="member: 20564"><p>Stream of consciousness while I read though. If I don't mention something, it's because I liked it. I won't clutter with "good jobs" unless it's really good, but do assume I'm saying them.</p><p></p><p>Formatting: Nice art.</p><p></p><p>Formatting: Wish there were page numbers to reference in my comments. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>Classes, general: Like the updated equipment - good attention to detail that I haven't seen elsewhere.</p><p></p><p>Cleric / War: I don't understand the change to Spiritual Weapon. It doesn't apply to any weapons, it makes one. Are you saying it now can make ranged weapons? That's a boost in effectiveness if instead of just being able to move 20 feet to engage, it can move 20' and attack anyone withing the ranged weapon's range.</p><p></p><p>Fighter / Battlemaster: Reflexive attack is more powerful then Riposte. It has a much larger number of triggers and can those can trigger off a larger pool of foes because they don't have to be attacking you. On the down side, it doesn't add to damage. Note: with how ubiquitous the triggers are, this gets pretty crazy if a rogue has it, either through multiclassing or the Martial Adept feat, since they will have another chance to add in sneak attack.</p><p></p><p>Evasive Fire lets you move before your attack, after your attack, huh? I think it's nifty but needs some clarity.</p><p></p><p>Backgrounds / General: I'm liking your background special abilities. While many of them are DM guidance, some mechanical support would be useful like how Artist & Diplomat might affect skill checks, and some more direction on what Guide's ability should do in play.</p><p></p><p>General: You have a flare for memorable yet meaningful names. Callsign for the Agent's special ability, Akimbo for firing two guns. Very good.</p><p></p><p>Feats / (UA weapon feats): I'm not a fan of +1 to hit, those became a feat tax in several earlier editions and it's even more valuable in 5e due to bounded accuracy.</p><p></p><p>Fell Handed: In addition to the above, you now need to work out both dice of advantage and both dice of disadvantage for every attack. This slows down the game. Yes, I know it's a UA feat - but it's a horrible one.</p><p></p><p>High Noon: Flavorful, I like it. Is the phrase "make up to as many attacks as you have bullets in your revolver's cylinder on as just as many targets" mean that each attack is against a different target, you can't unload into the same person? For the second bullet point, when you say "before your turn" do you mean "right before your turn" (so it's in your initiative order, but you regain your reaction when your turn starts") or "anytime before your turn" (so you can always act first regardless of initiative).</p><p></p><p>Swashbuckler: do you intend the first ability to be usable when you only have out is a pistol - do you need to have a melee weapon? do you intend the second ability to work when you attack with a light ranged weapon like a hand crossbow or does it need to be a light melee weapon?</p><p></p><p>Marksman: Hmm, that's a big bonus that might come up every round. This is powerful.</p><p></p><p>Overdraw: The -5/+10 is commonly considered as overpowered, especially with things like the Archery fighting style to offset. This increases the ratio of damage. The overdraw attack pat of this seems well overpowerered.</p><p></p><p>Quick-Thinker: Love it. Above and beyond the "good jobs" I mentioned I'm giving for anything I don't comment on.</p><p></p><p>Rapid Reload: Since it seems to be the vehicle for it, do you also want it to remove the loading property so you can rapid reload a crossbow as well?</p><p></p><p>Rifled Reflexes. Still feel +1 to hit doesn't belong. The extra attack comes with a ridiculous number of triggers so it's effectively an extra attack every round, that would stack with a bonus action extra attack. With extra cheese if used by a rogue since these are happening during someone else's turn so you can get full sneak attack. Sorry, both parts of this aren't good, and the second part is broken just by itself.</p><p></p><p>Equipment / Armor: Ballistic armor - you break some rules about max dex and armor type, but do so in a new-take yet balanced way. Good, I like it.</p><p></p><p>Equipment / Weapons: Like you firearms take. </p><p></p><p>Reload could use a bit of clarity - do you do it after each shot, up to 5 times (and then what), or can you fire up to X times and then need to reload? Also, losing an action or losing your movement don't seem to be evenly balanced.</p><p></p><p>Scatter is area effect? If so, wouldn't a dex save be a better fit?</p><p></p><p>Equipment: Much to love in here. I like the thought put into some like the concealed holster. Should medicine also give a chance to cure disease? Dcotor's tools requires odd bookkeeping, of damage taken since last time used before long rest.</p><p></p><p>Legal: Don't see any attribution for the art.</p><p></p><p>All in all a lot of good ideas! A few places to tighten up language to make sure it's clear to the reader, and a few places to give a once over for balance, but I like the feel. Makes me want to run Deadlands again.</p><p></p><p>And if it's not your art, get permission and give attribution!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blue, post: 7012818, member: 20564"] Stream of consciousness while I read though. If I don't mention something, it's because I liked it. I won't clutter with "good jobs" unless it's really good, but do assume I'm saying them. Formatting: Nice art. Formatting: Wish there were page numbers to reference in my comments. ;) Classes, general: Like the updated equipment - good attention to detail that I haven't seen elsewhere. Cleric / War: I don't understand the change to Spiritual Weapon. It doesn't apply to any weapons, it makes one. Are you saying it now can make ranged weapons? That's a boost in effectiveness if instead of just being able to move 20 feet to engage, it can move 20' and attack anyone withing the ranged weapon's range. Fighter / Battlemaster: Reflexive attack is more powerful then Riposte. It has a much larger number of triggers and can those can trigger off a larger pool of foes because they don't have to be attacking you. On the down side, it doesn't add to damage. Note: with how ubiquitous the triggers are, this gets pretty crazy if a rogue has it, either through multiclassing or the Martial Adept feat, since they will have another chance to add in sneak attack. Evasive Fire lets you move before your attack, after your attack, huh? I think it's nifty but needs some clarity. Backgrounds / General: I'm liking your background special abilities. While many of them are DM guidance, some mechanical support would be useful like how Artist & Diplomat might affect skill checks, and some more direction on what Guide's ability should do in play. General: You have a flare for memorable yet meaningful names. Callsign for the Agent's special ability, Akimbo for firing two guns. Very good. Feats / (UA weapon feats): I'm not a fan of +1 to hit, those became a feat tax in several earlier editions and it's even more valuable in 5e due to bounded accuracy. Fell Handed: In addition to the above, you now need to work out both dice of advantage and both dice of disadvantage for every attack. This slows down the game. Yes, I know it's a UA feat - but it's a horrible one. High Noon: Flavorful, I like it. Is the phrase "make up to as many attacks as you have bullets in your revolver's cylinder on as just as many targets" mean that each attack is against a different target, you can't unload into the same person? For the second bullet point, when you say "before your turn" do you mean "right before your turn" (so it's in your initiative order, but you regain your reaction when your turn starts") or "anytime before your turn" (so you can always act first regardless of initiative). Swashbuckler: do you intend the first ability to be usable when you only have out is a pistol - do you need to have a melee weapon? do you intend the second ability to work when you attack with a light ranged weapon like a hand crossbow or does it need to be a light melee weapon? Marksman: Hmm, that's a big bonus that might come up every round. This is powerful. Overdraw: The -5/+10 is commonly considered as overpowered, especially with things like the Archery fighting style to offset. This increases the ratio of damage. The overdraw attack pat of this seems well overpowerered. Quick-Thinker: Love it. Above and beyond the "good jobs" I mentioned I'm giving for anything I don't comment on. Rapid Reload: Since it seems to be the vehicle for it, do you also want it to remove the loading property so you can rapid reload a crossbow as well? Rifled Reflexes. Still feel +1 to hit doesn't belong. The extra attack comes with a ridiculous number of triggers so it's effectively an extra attack every round, that would stack with a bonus action extra attack. With extra cheese if used by a rogue since these are happening during someone else's turn so you can get full sneak attack. Sorry, both parts of this aren't good, and the second part is broken just by itself. Equipment / Armor: Ballistic armor - you break some rules about max dex and armor type, but do so in a new-take yet balanced way. Good, I like it. Equipment / Weapons: Like you firearms take. Reload could use a bit of clarity - do you do it after each shot, up to 5 times (and then what), or can you fire up to X times and then need to reload? Also, losing an action or losing your movement don't seem to be evenly balanced. Scatter is area effect? If so, wouldn't a dex save be a better fit? Equipment: Much to love in here. I like the thought put into some like the concealed holster. Should medicine also give a chance to cure disease? Dcotor's tools requires odd bookkeeping, of damage taken since last time used before long rest. Legal: Don't see any attribution for the art. All in all a lot of good ideas! A few places to tighten up language to make sure it's clear to the reader, and a few places to give a once over for balance, but I like the feel. Makes me want to run Deadlands again. And if it's not your art, get permission and give attribution! [/QUOTE]
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