EnWorld Haiku Slam

[Celebrim]

[Meta] EnWorld Haiku Slam

No, not a thread for posting Haiku, a thread for discussing the Haiku posted in Teflon Billy's contest.

I wanted to give props to some of my fav's, but didn't want to clutter up the contest thread.

I'm not a great poet, but I do know in theory what makes for good Haiku. I probably overlooked a few equally good, but this it my Top 15 (other than my own) at the moment. I consider it particularly important to have the beat in the second line, and the twist in third. A couple of the best I don't have in the list either have no beat, or else the wit is in the second line.

Flanking foes again.
Why is there no sneak attack?
I hate the undead.
-Ringmasta

*********************
The next two are pretty irreverent, but I found them to be funny anyway.

I gamed with Jesus.
He played an Epic cleric.
The Lord's a munchkin.(?)
-Talaysen

Jesus wept, "A trap."
But saints preserve! Jesus saves,
and takes half damage
-Kubla Khan

*********************

Slice, dice, and puree.
Experienced in Killing -
High Level Fighter.
-Excaliber Zone

Valued golden coins
sifting through open fingers.
Spot Check Has failed.
-Excaliber Zone

The Clearly a Real Poet Award

KDLadage takes this hands down, not only because his entry is so good, but because his posts are written entirely in Haiku.

Opportunity:
without combat reflexes,
knocks but once per turn.
-KDLadage

Best Half-Orc Bard Haiku

Frets drip blood on snow.
Critic said Half-orc bards suck.
Now My lute's in tune.
-Radiating Gnome

Best Orc & Pie Reference

I had to shout out this overlooked gem.

Smothered by cream,
my reward I claim early.
Guardian threw it.
-nsruf

Three orcs' ashes lie
In a line beside my own.
Our mage chose poorly.
-Maerdwyn

We want to go North
But the railroad takes us East -
His campaign, I guess.
-Maerdwyn

Evildmguy is probably KDLadage's top competition in the 'Clearly a Poet Award'. As a fellow DM, I find his entries particularly witty.

Personal Favorite

The lever is large
only a fool would pull it.
They fight for the job.
-evildmguy

All signs say go north.
Characters stop and confer.
South is then chosen.
-evildmguy

Mountains of gold will
only tempt characters more.
They rush to their death.
-evildmguy

Best Sentiment
***********************
A tie.

Housebound in winter,
We go on a year's-long quest
Rolling dice with friends.
-WayneLigon

The day's work is done
Time for happy diversion:
"Roll initiative"
-Eridanis

***********************

Anyone have one that they think I'm not doing justice?

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

Bard is a hard work
Need to be strong like half-orc
to carry make-up

This just cracked me up first time! By the way, have you mentioned on the haiku thread that you've written this one?

 

[KDLadage]

Come join in on the fun!

It's Teflon Billy's
And he runs the entire show
Without prejudice

We are but his drones
In that we churn out bad verse
For his amusement

But at least, I say,
It's entertaining for all
to see the result

So, if you have not
submitted yours as of yet
I then ask of you:

What's preventing you?
Why not join in on the fun?
We're waiting for you!

 

[Buttercup]

I'm not poetic.
All the verses I create
just sound pathetic.

 

[Darkness]

I agree that it's better not to clutter up Billy's thread - but this still belongs in GD, not Meta.

*A gate to GD opens and this thread falls through*