Escaping Violent Players

Marc_C · Oct 30, 2021

I would like to remind everyone that this thread is about physically abusive players in real life.

What a player chooses to do during the game, in character, is another discussion.

Jmarso · Oct 30, 2021

Not sure there is a lot to discuss on the subject, because

a) I would imagine this is something pretty rarely encountered, and
b) 99% of the time, the story goes something like: "He was kicked out of the game and not invited back. The end."

Marc_C · Oct 30, 2021

Jmarso said:
Not sure there is a lot to discuss on the subject, because

a) I would imagine this is something pretty rarely encountered, and
b) 99% of the time, the story goes something like: "He was kicked out of the game and not invited back. The end."

Talking about it can be therapeutic.

Jd Smith1 · Oct 30, 2021

Jmarso said:
Not sure there is a lot to discuss on the subject, because

a) I would imagine this is something pretty rarely encountered, and
b) 99% of the time, the story goes something like: "He was kicked out of the game and not invited back. The end."

A is true IME. I'm more flexible on B; sometimes people just have a bad day.

David Murrell · Oct 30, 2021

The one I remember was annoying because a third person instigated it. Most of the people at the table were adults, plus a couple of teenagers. One of the teenagers was the cousin of the other, and not exactly the smartest lightbulb in the pack. Before the game got started he was talking about his prize possession, which was a piece of Arsenal (London football club) memorabilia. One of the adults was teasing him and asked him if it was a Tottenham (a rival London football team) thing, which he responded "I expletive hate the antisemitic slur". For reference Tottenham fans are often called this name, and indeed use it for themselves.

Unfortunately, we had a Jewish guy at the table, but he missed what was said. So his buddy got the kid to repeat what he had just said, at which point the Jewish guy slapped the kid. Now as I said the kid wasn't exactly smart, and I honestly don't think he know what the word meant, other than the fact it was what you called Tottenham fans. As the GM, I had to castigate both players, telling the kid we don't allow that kind of language, after having to explain why it was offensive, and the grown ass man for slapping a teenager (actually he was lucky, I think if the kid hadn't been so surprised, he could have taken the adult down). I gave the chap who had been teasing the kid a look, though it was clear he didn't expect what was going to be the response. My real annoyance though was reserved for the chap who got the kid to repeat what he had said, knowing how his friend was going to react. It was the first time the kid had turned up at the club, and he didn't come back

aramis erak · Oct 31, 2021

David Murrell said:
My real annoyance though was reserved for the chap who got the kid to repeat what he had said, knowing how his friend was going to react. It was the first time the kid had turned up at the club, and he didn't come back

That guy is at least as bad, IMO, as the other two involved. Potentially worse.

Ralif Redhammer · Nov 1, 2021

It's a Blade Runner reference...

aramis erak said:
Anyone using that particular one would be me walking away from them and their table.
Part of that is my general approach to games is "Players control what their characters attempt; the rules, GM, and dice interact to determine the results of that attempt."

For me, that's non-selective as to player, but is determinative for the games I'l let them in.

Jd Smith1 said:
I'm with aramis on that.

If a player can get along with others, show up on time each week, and not argue with the GM, he's a long ways to being 'in'. If he takes an in-game stance that 'nits grow into lice', well, that's an issue for the other players, not me. Although I've never seen a player really object.

But to the subject at hand, when I think about my bad experiences with players and DMs over the years, I think no small number of them could have been avoided by a quick conversation about playstyles and attitudes at the table. I've never experienced a violent player at the table (yet, and hopefully never), and while some people do just blow their top out of nowhere, bad behaviors are generally part of a pattern.

aramis erak · Nov 2, 2021

Ralif Redhammer said:
But to the subject at hand, when I think about my bad experiences with players and DMs over the years, I think no small number of them could have been avoided by a quick conversation about playstyles and attitudes at the table. I've never experienced a violent player at the table (yet, and hopefully never), and while some people do just blow their top out of nowhere, bad behaviors are generally part of a pattern.

I hope no one does, either. But, as a matter of human nature, it will continue to happen to some.

loverdrive · Nov 2, 2021

I've been present for a heated argument that turned into a physical fight. Both were kicked out, and the session ended there. Didn't see anyone from that group ever again, as it was a one-shot in a different city. Didn't experience anything similar ever again.