Friends, Players, or Both?

[Emerald]

After reading several other posts it seems to me that most people have a business like relationship with their D&D groups. I have read several people give advice to switch groups or to oust somebody. The thing is the people in my group are my friends first and D&D players second. I did not know they played D&D when we met and if we stopped playing D&D tomorrow we would still get together for lunch and hockey games and board games and whatnot.

So I was wondering do you consider the members of your D&D groups your friends or just players?

Would you still hang out with them if you were not playing D&D?

How much do you know about their REAL LIVES?

Do you consider a D&D group to be a business relationship that can just be ended or changed with out a change in friendship status?

 

[Harlock]

After reading several other posts it seems to me that most people have a business like relationship with their D&D groups. I have read several people give advice to switch groups or to oust somebody. The thing is the people in my group are my friends first and D&D players second. I did not know they played D&D when we met and if we stopped playing D&D tomorrow we would still get together for lunch and hockey games and board games and whatnot.

So I was wondering do you consider the members of your D&D groups your friends or just players?

Why yes, yes I do. This is with my current group. But even when I look for new players etc. I still try and get to know them outside the game. I mean I see these folks every week... I better like them...

Would you still hang out with them if you were not playing D&D?

We do hang out even when we don't play D&D.

How much do you know about their REAL LIVES?

Well, one player is my wife, know a lot about her after 12 years. Another player is my sister-in-law who I've known as long as I have known my wife and she currently lives with us. Other player is my sister-in-law's fiancee and I've known about him longer than I have known him, but he's smart, nice, and funny. We all get along pretty well, I think.

Do you consider a D&D group to be a business relationship that can just be ended or changed with out a change in friendship status?

Oh, sometimes you might get frustrated, but you talk through it and work things out. Business relationship? No. Personal relationship? Most defeinitely. Even friends sometimes argue and have to talk through things. No relationship can work without care. Plus, a business relationship implies someone is the boss and in charge and frankly that just wrong for the feel of the game for me in my experience. YMMV.

 

[Angcuru]

lucky man!

 

[Piratecat]

Definitely friends. For our main group, we make a point not to game with anyone that we wouldn't want to socialize with out-of-game. It works tremendously well for us.

 

[Stahn Li]

I view my players mostly as pawns, who exist soley to amuse me. Ha Ha Ha Ha.

Actually I myself like to start out with one or two friends in a campaign and the rest of them to be basicly strangers. I prefer this becuase I usually end up making friends with homever is in my campaign at the time.

Its odd how D&D is looked down upon as a nerdy activity while it is by its nature a social event. I guess we should all go to bars and watch reality television like the rest of the world

 

[Mercule]

We have seven people in our group, including DM.

One is me and one is my wife. Obviously pretty close there.

One is my daughter's Godfather and another was up for consideration for the job (I don't consider it an honorific title). A third is also a good friend.

The other two are more what I'd call "acquaintances". I genuinely like them, but we aren't necessarily cut from the same cloth. They get invited to games (including wargames, etc.) and the occasional movie, but that's about it.

Sometimes I think the difference between the "friends" and the "acquaintances" can put some pressure on everyone because it's obvious when we talk about our weekends or plan group vacations (like Ren-Fest). On the other hand, it could just be that the other two are more wargame oriented than the rest of us.

For the record, the game started out very much as a gathering of acquaintances (mostly out of necessity). As the original groups started breaking apart, closer friends were invited to participate.

My experience, prior to this group, has always been that it's friends first, then gamers.

 

[alsih2o]

well, my sunday group has known one another for and been gaming together for 15 years, we are all friends outside the game and our lives are deeply intertwined.

my tuesday night group has only met 3 times, i didn;t know any of them at all really, the closest i could come would be buttercup, with whom i have traded "my your dog is cute" messages. but i already feel like we are developing a bond individually and as a group. owuldn't want it any other way

 

[Wormwood]

Friends first (running on over 10 years), players second.

All that history gives me the freedom to really unload on their pathetic characters.

 

[randomling]

Strange, actually. I play in a group with three other players and the DM. One of the players, and the DM, I consider very good friends and socialize with out of game. One of the other players I have met several times (always at gaming sessions), get on quite well with, but I don't really know him at all, though he's a close friend of the DM. The last player I'd never met until three weeks ago. He seems perfectly nice (actually I think he came to the group via ENWorld) but I know absolutely nothing about him!

The other group I play in is composed almost exclusively of complete strangers, although I was introduced to the group by one of my very best friends (also a player... and the player I know best in the other group. I have also DMed him a few times. He's my gaming buddy).

So, weird mish-mash!

 

[NiTessine]

Well, my gaming group is composed of my classmates... They are all (of) my (offline) friends, except for that one Nazi bastard, but I no longer play with him, so...

I do occasionally hang out with them outside of school and gaming, but I am a closet geek (that is, I spend most of my time in a dark closet with my computer), so I do very little hanging out with anyone...

Obviously, I know a lot about their real lives.

As for the business relationship... Well, I can throw them out of the group, and have done so in the past, without it affecting our friendship, except for that previously mentioned Nazi, who, if possible, became even more unbearable. Of course, the only reason I've thrown them out was that they failed to show up once too often. If the reason was munchkinism, power playing, or being otherwise detrimental to the fun, things might be different.