[Fun] Totally Broken!

BrokeAndDrive

Banned
Banned
Warning: all must have their sense of humor installed and updated to the latest version before perusing this thread. Otherwise this thread may cause stress and possibly physical harm, including but not limited to: groaning, eyerolling, muttering "How stupid...", burst blood vessels, eyes popping out of your socket, and spontaneous cranial combustion. No joke is palatable with everyone, consult the nearest comedian before use.


I was about to post the following in another thread for tongue-in-cheek reasons, but instead decided not to thread-jack.

Anyway, just for completely inane, pointless kicks, let's make stuff up that is 100% certified broken. I'll start with a template and a magic weapon property that go hand-in-hand. Note that these are off the deep end; I'm sure others will be able to show far more restraint than I have and come up with something creatively broken (perhaps something innocent you can run past your DM that'll let you become Pun-Pun). :angel:


Broken Template

"Broken" is an acquired template can be added to any 1st-level player character -- at character creation only -- when the Dungeon Master doesn't give a flying flip about this particular game, or to throw a bone to players whom he's TPK'd several times recently, or just wants some silly fun, or for no reason at all.


Broken characters gain the following special attack:

All Hits Do Da Big Boom (Ex): All the creature's natural attacks and/or unarmed strikes, as well as any weapons they wield, have a +10 bonus to attacks and damage per level/HD which stacks with everything else, and are treated as nuclear bombardment weapons (described below). Every touch attack (unless chosen by the player... otherwise every time they touched anything it'd explode [unless that's what they want?]) activates the nuclear bombardment property (including touch spells [melee and ranged]). Finally, you can critical hit with spells, powers, poisons, alchemical weapons, or anything that you do to cause damage (so if the fighter wants Improved Critical (Wizard Tower) then by all means).


Broken characters gain the following special qualities:

Alter Reality (Ex): Once per round as a free action or immediate action (even if the effect would normally take more than a round, or even 24 hours, etc) you can duplicate any spell or psionic power (including Wish, Miracle, Reality Revision, etc) of a level equal to 9 plus number of Automatic Metamagic/Metapsionic Capacity* feats. This ability can also duplicate any epic spells/psionic powers of a DC equal to double their levels/hit dice +20 (+10 per Automatic Metamagic/Metapsionic Capacity feat).
*it's an Immortal's Handbook thang. Just ignore this part if you don't have it.

No spell/power duplicated ever costs XP, nor have verbal/somatic/material components, etc. They simply happen with your passing thought.

Any spell, psionic power, etc. (including ones duplicated with this ability) that can be made permanent by duplicating a permanency effect; furthermore, any spell/power or duplicated spell/power with a duration greater than instantaneous can be made permanent by duplicating the permanency spell. Any spell, psionic power, or other effect made permanent with any permanency spell (including duplicated, and including spells made permanent by other casters, even enemies) can have it removed with another duplication of the permanency spell (call it an "impermanency spell" if you will).

All caps to scaling spells/powers are removed: fireballs can do more than 10d6 damage, etc.

Any spell with a short, medium, or long range are instead treated as extreme range (1600 ft. + 160 ft./level).

Any creature immune to specific spells (like with the Eternal Freedom epic spell) are not immune to effects duplicated by Alter Reality. Similarly, any creature immune to spells are not immune to any effect duplicated by Alter Reality, as they are not spells, spell-like abilities, etc. You can now blow up rakshasas and golems like you've always wanted to.

Unlike normal, these spells/powers are extraordinary abilities, so they would work even in an area of dead magic, cannot be dispelled, counterspelled, etc. any other special effect that would work on or hinder spells, spell-like abilities, supernatural abilities, etc.

Wishes/Miracles/Reality Revisions can never negatively impact a broken character. If a Wish would normally do so (such as wishing for complete invulnerability killing you so you can never be harmed again) that particular spell simply doesn't function, as if it were never casted.

Yes, I keep calling them spells, even though they technically aren't. Humor me, okay?


Innately Awesome: The cap for innate bonuses is 5 x HD/level. So a fifth level broken character can have an inherent bonus of up to 25. They also gain an ability score bonus once per HD/level (instead of once every 4). Finally, they gain two bonus feats per HD/level, and broken characters ignore all feat prerequisites (including epic feats).


Level Adjustment: ∞

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Nuclear Bombardment (weapon property)

On a successful strike, anything within a 40-ft. radius spread, centered just far enough away that the weapon-wielder isn't hit but whoever was hit is, is subject to a meteor swarm spell (whomever is struck takes the 2d6 bludgeoning damage as the meteor spheres "eject" themselves from behind/through it, or whatever), at a caster level equal to the weapon-wielder's hit dice or 20, whichever is higher, and a DC equal to the spell level (heightened to equal the wielder's level, if it is higher), and either weapon-wielder's Charisma modifier or whatever ability score is tied to their highest spellcasting class (if any).

Whoever is struck doesn't get a saving throw (they're automatically hit by the meteor swarm and poison) but everyone else in the area does. Also, anyone within this area must make a Fortitude save (equal to the meteor swarm's DC) or become poisoned, taking 1d8 points of Strength, Dexterity, Constitution drain, and 1d4 negative levels (like Energy Drain, except is part of the poison effect, thus spells like death ward are useless) on initial and secondary damage.

They take this poison drain to ability scores each time this weapon property is activated (so if a character hits five times in a round, if they fail the Fort save they take 5d8 ability drain to each physical ability score and 5d4 negative levels, assuming they're vulnerable to poison of course). For the sake of simplicity, no matter how many times you strike a round, each affected target must only make one Reflex save to halve damage from the meteor swarm, and one Fortitude save to negate the poison.

All these effects can be multiplied if the wielder scores a critical hit (OH GOD). Creatures immune to critical hits still have the meteor swarm and poison damage multiplied (a critical hit causes the explosions to be boomier and the poison to be... more virulent, or something... what, you want a sword that causes ATOMIC EXPLOSIONS to make SENSE?!?!?!).

Alternatively, the weapon wielder can, at-will as a standard action (or with a full-round action, as many times as the wielder could attack with a full attack), fire the meteor swarm and poison effect up to extreme range (1600 ft. + 160 ft./level). In this case, the meteor swarm and poison effects work normally (forcing a Ref save with each individual meteor, etc) (but still auto-heightened, etc) (are you annoyed by me saying etc in parentheses all the time yet?). They can also use this ability as a touch attack; if they miss but they still would have hit their touch AC, this ability activates (representing the explosion... exploding.

If a ranged weapon has this property, it confers the property to any ammunition. If anyone refers to a throwing axe, dart, shuriken, or even a sling bullet as a nuclear hand grenade, everyone else within earshot gets to beat the stuffing out of you. This template annuls any local laws prohibiting violence for these occasions. Fight the power!

Caster level: 60th; Prerequisites: Craft Magic Arms and Amror, Craft Epic Magic Arms and Armor, creator must be under any insanity effect during the weapon's entire creation (increasing creation time tenfold), delayed blast fireball, energy drain, enervation, incendiary cloud, meteor swarm, poison, pyrotechnics, wish or miracle (all heightened to 31st-level); Market Price: +20 bonus.

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Note that a broken character's ability scores aren't changed, nor are they given any extra equipment or items. It's up to them to make themselves gods. Note that you should still probably ban any infinite loops/Pun-Pun/etc since that's just boring. Force them to be creative to break the game.

You (the DM) should only give them equipment, gold, etc. of 1st-level characters, and then send monsters appropriate for their ECL at them, as if things were perfectly normal. The only thing that's different about such a game with characters with this broken template is that they have the template. Let them break the game.

Or not. It's their choice. Could create an interesting "power corrupts" thing, or be like that one Star Trek episode where a girl Q didn't want to be a Q but couldn't resist saving an entire planet from imminent destruction... aw heck, who am I kidding?

And don't penalize XP, that's just rude.

This assumes the gods can't directly come in and smack your guys around. At the start of the campaign -- which can be completely normal, like a couple guys in a bar, or insanely outlandish, such as the PCs freshly escaped from the Prison Beyond Time due to the coming of the End Of The Multiverse... which just so happens to be your players; it doesn't really matter does it? -- they just suddenly have these powers. They have no memory of previous moments nor do they know anyone else but eachother, but they know everything that a person of that age would reasonbly know (like cheese is delicious, and whatever their normal class is). They also know the full extent of their powers. For simplicity, you could force them all to be level 1 commoners, not that that'll make any difference.

The only thing the DM needs to say, once the character sheets are rolled up is, "What do you do?"
 

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