Funny gamer moment at my table

[reveal]

Me (DM): The red slaad attacks and misses you.

Player: I will use my energy bolt (psionic power) to hit him. Let's see, what type of energy should I use? (looks through the list) I'll use sonic. Nothings immune to sonic damage.

Me (DM): (Smiles) It does nothing to him.

For those that don't know, slaads are one of the few, if not the only, creatures immune to sonic damage. Just the way the player said it and the reaction at the table when I told him that slaads are immune to sonic damage was really, really funny.

 

[devilbat]

Here's one from my Tuesday night game.

Setup: The characters are traveling towards a pygmy village in the jungle, they have taken to sleeping in the trees, as the ground, especially at night, is unsafe. The resident Paladin doesn't like heights, and is dextrously challenged, so he avoids climbing or balancing when possible. For that reason he has not bothered to purchase the hand made hammocs the rest of the party has. The resident female fighter, who has been trying to bed the paladin for some time, offers to allow him to share her bed.

She says to the Paladin, "The only thing is, the hammoc is not strong enough to hold us both and your plate mail.......or your pants."

 

[Cartigan Mrryl]

Alright... playing a game on Wednesday:

DM(Me): You walk into the crypt (describe crypt) what do you do?
Fighter 1: I'm going to check the door on the opposite wall.
Fighter 2: I'm going to break open the caskets and look for stuff.
Sorceror: Alright, i'm going to cast Daylight.
Rogue:I'm going to check for traps.
Cleric: I'm going to go take a p**s

I don't know why it was funny, the PC who owned the cleric needed to go to the bathroom, and wasn't paying attention... it was just the timing.

 

[rvalle]

Slight WLD spoiler below...












Running friends though WLD. They get to the room right before the first Darkmantel (Death from Above). The dwarven cleric is trying to push the pace so while the rest of the party is checking out the room ( and the dead ork) he moves into the next room.

Darkmantle drops, hits, wins the grapple check and slides over his head and starts to constrict.

Player states he is going to stumble back though the door into the room with the rest of the party.

I started to laugh... I had this mental image of this dwarf coming though the door making muffled yelling noises and pointing to his head.

"Mummuhm! Muhmmmm!" Point... point.



rv

 

[Ranger5]

In our last session, one of the other players playing a cleric of Mystra said the following:

"Before we go down into the sewers, I want to real quickly cast Divination. It only takes 10 minutes."

For a moment, the DM stopped and the rest of us stopped and then erupted in laughter. A moment later the player of the cleric got it too.

 

[Gnome]

In our last session, one of the other players playing a cleric of Mystra said the following:

"Before we go down into the sewers, I want to real quickly cast Divination. It only takes 10 minutes."

For a moment, the DM stopped and the rest of us stopped and then erupted in laughter. A moment later the player of the cleric got it too.

I'll admit that I don't get it.

 

[reveal]

I'll admit that I don't get it.

"real quickly cast" != 10 minutes

 

[sniffles]

I've told this one several times in other threads, but I just enjoy it so much (although it may be partly due to familiarity with the player in question).

Our Greyhawk party had just freed a prisoner who was chained to a very repugnant idol of a masculine demon with, um, extra male "enhancements". The rogue had picked the locks on the chains.
GM: "Don't you want to touch the statue?"
Rogue's player (who is female and the youngest player in our group): "Ew! No! It's gross!"
GM: "Don't you want to touch the golden nipple rings?"
Player (suddenly enthusiastic): "It has golden nipple rings?!"

 

[Ukyo the undead]

DM: When you reach to the cave, you are attacked by 4 Giant Beetles!

Player: Ok, I attack George Harrison!

 

[kanithardm]

DM: You here what sounds like a young girl tending to her sick mother.
Players: We prepare our weapons and kick down the door.

What comes next has been censored, for cutting off heads is bad.

Edit: Oops