Funny Player Quotes

[Fade]

This one was from a short Heavy Gear game.
Player 1: "Are they good, or bad?"
Player 2: "I can't tell that, I don't have a good/bad meter on my sensors."

I thought that was called an IFF? (Identification Friend or Foe. If they aren't transmitting the right IFF codes it means they're bad. Like uniform for vehicles)

 

[Uller]

A PC said this in Against the Cult of the Reptile God while a few members of the party were investigating the ruins of a tavern and trying to decide whether or not to go down some eerie looking steps: "It's only a basement. How bad could it be?"

Around our table, that is now the universal way of expressing that one suspects danger is lurking around the next turn...

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

My proudest ever quip was playing a swashbuckling type two weapon fighter who burst in on three bugbears playing cards. The barbarian smashed the door on, and with the light from the wizards torch illuminating him silhouetted in the doorway he Quick Drew both swords and cried:

"Who's got the ace?"

Well I thought it was cool anyway.

 

[ForceUser]

Oft-overheard during fights:


(Players, to the encounter's villian as he buffs for battle): "Stop drinking our potions!"



DM: (upon decribing a dungeon room) "And inside, you see..."

Players (meta, usually two or three) "Balors! Advanced vampiric balors? Axiomatic half-celestial balors?"

(Good-natured ribbing at the DMs expense - he likes templated monsters.)

 

[TroyXavier]

There's many that I've long forgotten, but here's a couple

(The wizards in our group)
Remeber, when in doubt, blame the rogue((NPC who lacked a tongue and the ability to communicate except via sign language))

(encountering a Dragon)
Hmmm, let's see....there's 10 of us, and 1 of him. This is jussst about even. Two more guys on our side, and we'd probably have him.

(our insane bard to a barefoot hill giant)
Hey Mister Giant, shoes untied.

 

[trentonjoe]

My dwarven fighter found out that he goblins were smuggling weapons of great power to some evil cult like thing so he made up his mind to stop the "Goblin Juggling Ring".

 

[Siridar]

"I can give the answer to any one question you ask of me."
Player 1: "Is that one question each or just one question?"
Player 2: "D'oh."

The next week:
A different set of players who were warned by the first two not to ask the same question.
Player 3 (OOC): Ya know, I almost asked that same question.

You had to be there.

 

[Xarlen]

The party was just ambushed, and just cleaned up. One of the archers on the roof tried to run across the building, and jump ovr the alley. He fell. Broke his leg. The party then began to interrogate the survivors, and the wizard flew over the building, found the archer, and hovered above him.

Player: "Willing to come peacefully? Or do you want to argue with a lightning bolt?"

Later, in that same conversation.

Player: Nope, we don't need any prisoners. So..." Points his finger down at the archer, "Any reason why I shouldn't fry you?"
NPC: Because... I have a potion! Yeah. I have a potion, and if you zap me, It'll break!"