Funny quotes from the Game Table

[beldar1215]

I know there have probably been other threads on this, but I didn't find any, so I thought I would start one.

We are currently play a Star Wars game and our GM was giving us information about a planet we were landing on.

"The winds on the planet are very windy"

Windy winds huh. Is the sun "sunny"? We gave him crap about that the rest of the night.

Share your funny quotes!

Beldar

 

[mearlus]

One of the guys at our table setup a twitter account based on a generic character that is used to quote things said at the table both in character and out of character.

Unfortunately the content is not very family friendly. Very amusing but also pretty... disturbing

Some of the quotes are even better when you don't know the context.

An safe example:
"That's totally a murder room. Let's not go in the murder room. You know what happened the last time we went in a murder room."

"Ahh, an extended rest. It feels just like taking a huge dump."

 

[ourchair]

The gamist conceits of 4th Edition lend themselves to some very funny remarks at my table. We have an ongoing conversation about the bloodied mechanic.


"How do you bloody a door?"

"Maybe it gets splintered?"

"Does that mean skeletons get marrowed?"

"So when the crone statue was at half hit points it was 'gravelized'?"

 

[Lord Xtheth]

This happened in one of my early 3.0 games when it first came out, it's the quote that just keeps popping up whenever something unexpected happens:

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BARBARIAN PICKS LOCKS?!"

"... He's the URBAN barbarian!"

 

[benjamin]

Paladin standing in the doorway.. using two dead Goblins as shields while the wizard and rogue shoot between his legs...

Player announces: "I dump the two squishy balls, pull out my big sword and have a slash!"


GM chokes on drink...
Player looks blank .... "?"

HILARITY ENSUES.



For "have a slash", see here:
Dagree's Great Aussie Slang




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[Katana_Geldar]

One of my players contantly asks "Is he wearing any pants?" as he liked stealing peoples pants while they are wearing them.

Another one is from me, after the players caused a distraction by crashing a hired speeder into the prison they were going to break into. "As a result of the collision, the guards on this level are aroused."

 

[MarkB]

In a Marvel Superheroes game, we're playing an alternate X-Men team, and are about to investigate some mutants hiding out in disused underground railway tunnels in New York. I took the opportunity to make the obvious joke, which totally backfired on me.

Player 1: "Okay, let's go to the subway."

Player 2 (me): "Cool. Mine's a foot-long barbecue chicken."

Player 3: "That's a nasty mutation."

 

[DragonLancer]

There have been plenty in my gaming days.

In one game it was getting late and I was rather tired. At least that's my excuse.

Me (DM): The far wall has been carved as to resemble a skull and crossbones without the crossbones.
Players: Um... so it's a skull then?

In another instance one of my players tried his hand at DMing and came up with a moment that still haunts him to this day.

DM: You poke the cocooned form and from within you hear a scream of aaarrghhh! in elvish.

 

[TarionzCousin]

In another instance one of my players tried his hand at DMing and came up with a moment that still haunts him to this day.

DM: You poke the cocooned form and from within you hear a scream of aaarrghhh! in elvish.

What? It sounds totally different in Elvish. It sounds like flute music and tiny cymbals.

 

[MarkB]

What? It sounds totally different in Elvish. It sounds like flute music and tiny cymbals.

Maybe he was dictating.