haakon1 said:
Perhaps a difference in the prevalence of flumphs?
All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the flavor and the crunch that ya used to.
I look funny
but yo I'm makin' GP, see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
Now hear and hark,
I'm the new dog to bark
and my lair's laid down in the Underdark.
I drink up all the potions that ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
Mah name is Flumph-D, pronounced wit a
umph-ty,
Yo gnome boy, oh how I love to trump thee,
And all the races in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
I'm floatin' tall, y'all,
and just like Races of Destiny,
you're gonna fall when the supplements pump me.
I like to rhyme,
I like my builds funky,
I'm crunchy. I like my armor dungeon-punky.
I'm sick wit dis, straight up Sneak Attack,
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your rations 'till I'm disabled.
Hey yo fat troll, c'mere--are ya flankable?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm Small
It never kept me from a dungeon crawl.
I'm an Aberration
I like the flumphs with gyration
I once got busy in Candlekeep's crenelation.
I'm Wis penalty.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the Nymph's plants,
and I even got my own dance
{Chorus:}
The Flumphy Dance is your chance to do the flumph
Do the Flumphy Flumph, come on and do the Flumphy Flumph
Do the Flumphy Flumph, just watch me do the Flumphy Flumph
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Flumphy Flumph
Do the Flumphy Flumph, do the Flumphy Flumph
Verse Two:
People say "Yo, Flumphy, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right, my acid gets things cookin',
Ya Climb, ya Jump, ya constantly try to get in melee,
but ya can't get near me.
I give 'em more, see, and in the town, B,
all the girls know I'm Lawful G,
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my tentacles will tickle ya rear.
My spikes are big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like Final Fantasy, I'm still gettin' paid
I get ale from the barmaids, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my spikes are large.
I get acidic, I shoot an arrow like Melf,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like "Gelf".
I starred in the Folio, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one Good thing in that pack o' biscuits.
Also told ya that I like to flank
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to tank.
All ya had to do was give Flumphy a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.
{Chorus}
Breakdown:
Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that Bard groove right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out
Verse Three:
First I float to the side like my speed was Clumsy
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was mumsy
Crazy wack funky
People say ya fly like a jabberwocky on crack, Flumphy
That's all right 'cause my body's a saucer
It's supposed to look like
enervation or Nausea
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Flumphy Flumph's my name
No two PCs will do it the same
Ya got it down when the DM seems to be in pain
Jumpin', Flankin', Tumblin',
jig around, spankin' tha chump,
and when the ogre Cha dump points a finger like a stump
tell him Sneak Attack, I'm doin' the Flumph.
{Chorus}
Humans, do the Flumphy Flumph, do the Flumphy Flumph
Dwarves, do the Humpty Hump, do the Flumphy Flumph
Elf subraces, do the Flumphy Flumph, just keep on doin' the Flumph
Halflings, do the Flumphy Flumph, do the Flumphy Flumph
Let's get stoopid!
{Chorus}
Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
Outro:
Once again, the Underdark is in the Core rules
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,
keep on doin' the Flumphy Dance,
and to the Dryads,
peace and flumphiness forever.
{Music and fade}