General Player Principles for Better Play

[Reynard]

Bob then proceeds to make not-nice and threaten the shopkeeper, requiring either focus time, or local reaction, or otherwise telling bob off, or just pointedly ignoring bob, at which point, if bob's the persnickity type, may require invitation to exit. (Not that I'm thinking of doing so. Just exemplar at the current.)

Also, most of my gaming is not in a space I control; I literally cannot boot certain players because, in one case, is host, in another, because of the venue's rules.

Getting the cooperation is part of learning when enough is enough... and part of that is feedback in both directions.

If Bob is a jerk, Bob's a jerk. The point of my silly example is that the GM just shifts the focus and it's done.

Also, if Bobs are that common in the venue you run in, maybe don't?

 

[GrahamWills]

This fits within the Bill and Ted framework for being a good person, and so is clearly a good set of guidelines:

BE EXCELLENT TO ONE ANOTHER

• Be A Fan of The Other Characters
• Be aware of the amount of spotlight time you’re taking
• Make choices which support other characters’ reality
• Learn what rules apply to you, to smooth the game, not derail it

PARTY ON!

• Make choices that support the table’s creative goals
• Ensure The Group Understands Who Your Character Is
• If asked a preference in a story game, a strong choice is almost always better than a middling choice

Where you can think of "being excellent o one another" as making sure other players and the GM have a fun time, and "party on!" as "make the group creative effort work"

 

[aramis erak]

If Bob is a jerk, Bob's a jerk. The point of my silly example is that the GM just shifts the focus and it's done.

Also, if Bobs are that common in the venue you run in, maybe don't?

Not at the current one, but they have been common enough to be real factors.

 

[delericho]

The OP is pretty good. I'd offer one more: Do Something!

Whatever the situation is in an RPG, it's not going to be improved by sitting there indecisively agonizing over what you 'should' do or what the 'best' thing to do is. If you're not sure what to do, just do something and take it from there.

 

[Thomas Shey]

I generally agree, but think it is the GM's job to control spotlight time.

He may have more influence over it, but its a lot easier of the players are mindful of it, too. Being a spotlight grabber is a problematic trait that isn't commented on enough, and some people do it almost reflexively.

 

[Thomas Shey]

I'll also note that #2 can really suffer when someone is easily bored (I plead guilty--too many years of GMing) or finds a particular other character at least modestly annoying (one of our players in my PF2e game plays characters who are usually surly, often arrogant, and generally only cares about other characters to the degree their group function serves that character's purposes (while recognizing quid-pro-quo). I find it hard to put enthusiasm behind my appreciation of a character that's just consistently unpleasant.

 

[Lanefan]

I mean, really?

"All right, Bob, you continue to haggle with the shopkeeper. Go ahead and adjust your equipment. Don't forget to pay for everything and check your encumbrance. Julia and Jorge, what are you guys doing?"

Julia: "I'm waiting for Bob so we can all meet our contact together."
Jorge: <points at Julia> "I'm with her."

Spotlight goes right back to Bob. I see this all the time.

 

[Lanefan]

Being a spotlight grabber is a problematic trait that isn't commented on enough, and some people do it almost reflexively.

I'd rather both run and play in a game where everyone is a spotlight grabber.

To me, grabbing the spotlight is something to be encouraged. Speak up, dammit! Show some enthusiasm!

 

[werecorpse]

He may have more influence over it, but its a lot easier of the players are mindful of it, too. Being a spotlight grabber is a problematic trait that isn't commented on enough, and some people do it almost reflexively.

I find spotlight grabbers tend also to more aggressive or assertive, and if they aren’t self aware enough and don’t get their way can be quite strident and unpleasant. This may often mean others in the group prefer to just let them have at it and try and just enjoy whatever spotlight is left over rather than getting in an argument over it. This may be the reason it isn’t commented on.
Same way in any other social situations if someone is hogging a conversation not listening to others etc it’s rarely that they are called on it - rather the others just try and put up with it, or just move on.

 

[Thomas Shey]

I'd rather both run and play in a game where everyone is a spotlight grabber.

To me, grabbing the spotlight is something to be encouraged. Speak up, dammit! Show some enthusiasm!

The problem is you're extremely unlikely to get people who do it to the same degree, and having one or two people who do it constantly just discourages other people even if they don't express it that way.