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Story Hour
Ghourmand Vale (3.5 campaign)
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<blockquote data-quote="Richards" data-source="post: 9038601" data-attributes="member: 508"><p><strong>INTERLUDE: THE BESPOKE ARMOR SONG</strong></p><p></p><p>To the Esteemed Bard, Holyrood Carp,</p><p></p><p>I have penned another song for your consideration. It involves <em>bespoke armor</em>, a type of natural armor grown from plants by a strange pair of elven druids we encountered not long ago. We performed a quest for them and the two female members of the Trained Professional Adventurers opted to take their payment in the form of a suit of <em>bespoke armor</em> made specifically to their exact measurements. (Harlan and I wisely opted to be paid in coins and gems.) In any case, I hope it meets your favor.</p><p></p><p>The lyrics follow:</p><p></p><p style="margin-left: 20px"> Harlan wears his plate mail 'cause it offers protection</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And on it's the holy symbol of Pelor's shining sun</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Alistair wears noble's clothes, but when it's time to fight</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> His <em>mage armor</em> and <em>shield</em> spells keep him protected all right</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Ageratum and Chaevaris once wore armor, too</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> But recently they changed their minds, as women often do</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> A somewhat crazy notion entered each one's silly head</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And they decided that they would wear shrubbery instead</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> <em>Bespoke armor, bespoke armor</em>, it's the latest fad</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> 'Cause wearing plants and vines and twigs will make you look all rad</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> Put away your chain mail suits, I'm sure you will agree</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> That things are so much better when you look just like a tree!</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> When your armor's made of plants, there are things you should know</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Like, if you're stuck out in the rain, will it begin to grow?</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Donning it and doffing it might be quick as you please</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> But suddenly you need to worry 'bout attracting bees!</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> The armor's of elven design - what else would you expect?</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> They coax the plants to intertwine, to weave, and to connect</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> The elven druids who tailor-make it call it, "bespoke"</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> But hopefully when crafting it, they skipped the poison oak</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> <em>Bespoke armor, bespoke armor</em>, folks will be impressed</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> When in the middle of your suit there is a robin's nest</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> Wearing it into battle, I hope you're not a prude</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> For with a single <em>blight</em> spell you'll be fighting in the nude</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Chaevaris will argue that it offers camouflage</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And that may well be true when her armor's a big corsage</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> But for an elven archer once known for her sexy tush</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> She's now the only elf around who proudly shows her bush</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> And as for Ageratum, well, this might be just a phase</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> 'Cause it won't help disguise her in the streets and alleyways</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> The best that she can hope for, as I'm sure you will concede</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Is someone might mistake her for a tumbling tumbleweed</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> <em>Bespoke armor, bespoke armor</em>, fire's a concern</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> Especially in autumn, when dry leaves are prone to burn</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> And in the winter season, when the trees have all gone bare</p> <p style="margin-left: 40px"> Let's hope the wearers of <em>bespoke armor</em> wore underwear!</p><p></p><p>Wishing you continued success with your enjoyable performances.</p><p></p><p>With Fond Regards,</p><p></p><p>Alistair Mandelberen Pastlethwaite</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Richards, post: 9038601, member: 508"] [B]INTERLUDE: THE BESPOKE ARMOR SONG[/B] To the Esteemed Bard, Holyrood Carp, I have penned another song for your consideration. It involves [I]bespoke armor[/I], a type of natural armor grown from plants by a strange pair of elven druids we encountered not long ago. We performed a quest for them and the two female members of the Trained Professional Adventurers opted to take their payment in the form of a suit of [I]bespoke armor[/I] made specifically to their exact measurements. (Harlan and I wisely opted to be paid in coins and gems.) In any case, I hope it meets your favor. The lyrics follow: [INDENT] Harlan wears his plate mail 'cause it offers protection[/INDENT] [INDENT] And on it's the holy symbol of Pelor's shining sun[/INDENT] [INDENT] Alistair wears noble's clothes, but when it's time to fight[/INDENT] [INDENT] His [I]mage armor[/I] and [I]shield[/I] spells keep him protected all right[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Ageratum and Chaevaris once wore armor, too[/INDENT] [INDENT] But recently they changed their minds, as women often do[/INDENT] [INDENT] A somewhat crazy notion entered each one's silly head[/INDENT] [INDENT] And they decided that they would wear shrubbery instead[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT=2] [I]Bespoke armor, bespoke armor[/I], it's the latest fad[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] 'Cause wearing plants and vines and twigs will make you look all rad[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] Put away your chain mail suits, I'm sure you will agree[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] That things are so much better when you look just like a tree![/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] When your armor's made of plants, there are things you should know[/INDENT] [INDENT] Like, if you're stuck out in the rain, will it begin to grow?[/INDENT] [INDENT] Donning it and doffing it might be quick as you please[/INDENT] [INDENT] But suddenly you need to worry 'bout attracting bees![/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] The armor's of elven design - what else would you expect?[/INDENT] [INDENT] They coax the plants to intertwine, to weave, and to connect[/INDENT] [INDENT] The elven druids who tailor-make it call it, "bespoke"[/INDENT] [INDENT] But hopefully when crafting it, they skipped the poison oak[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT=2] [I]Bespoke armor, bespoke armor[/I], folks will be impressed[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] When in the middle of your suit there is a robin's nest[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] Wearing it into battle, I hope you're not a prude[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] For with a single [I]blight[/I] spell you'll be fighting in the nude[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] Chaevaris will argue that it offers camouflage[/INDENT] [INDENT] And that may well be true when her armor's a big corsage[/INDENT] [INDENT] But for an elven archer once known for her sexy tush[/INDENT] [INDENT] She's now the only elf around who proudly shows her bush[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT] And as for Ageratum, well, this might be just a phase[/INDENT] [INDENT] 'Cause it won't help disguise her in the streets and alleyways[/INDENT] [INDENT] The best that she can hope for, as I'm sure you will concede[/INDENT] [INDENT] Is someone might mistake her for a tumbling tumbleweed[/INDENT] [INDENT][/INDENT] [INDENT=2] [I]Bespoke armor, bespoke armor[/I], fire's a concern[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] Especially in autumn, when dry leaves are prone to burn[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] And in the winter season, when the trees have all gone bare[/INDENT] [INDENT=2] Let's hope the wearers of [I]bespoke armor[/I] wore underwear![/INDENT] Wishing you continued success with your enjoyable performances. With Fond Regards, Alistair Mandelberen Pastlethwaite [/QUOTE]
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