Girls and charisma

[Chrysoula]

Ack. Whats the best way to get a girl to game? (dear me, that sounds unfathomably desperate)

Spider.

Well... have you advertised for new gamers, or gone to any gamer-social events? Try organizing one! Ahem.

The problem I had for a long time was that, well, even though I was interested in gaming, and I was pretty sure guys around me gamed, it was EXTREMELY hard to get involved. A lot of girls who are interested in fantasy and might like gaming and have even read gaming books and stuff... have trouble wandering up to guys and saying, "Um. Can I game with you?" because first of all, they have their pride, and second of all, what if they're laughed at and sent away? Or worse, adopted into the game and the abused?

Now, this was quite a few years back... but within a decade. I don't know if things have changed. But I do know a lot of girls read fantasy, and a lot of those girls keep it a secret. So. Keep an eye out. And be friendly without being, um, flirty.

 

[Spider_Jerusalem]

Sound advice, and I can see where you're coming from on the fantasy books side of things. Maybe that is the way to go.

Thanks for the thoughts. And I don't think I'm capable of flirting without having a heart attack at the moment. So friendly it is.

Spider.

 

[Gargoyle]

----

Ack. Whats the best way to get a girl to game? (dear me, that sounds unfathomably desperate)

Spider.

Ask her.

Oh...you probably want more detail.

- Be ready to answer her questions about the game with some articulation.
- Make her comfortable by asking her girlfriends to play as well, or asking her to bring a girlfriend. If she's the only gal, she may not want to play.
- Be ready for her to say no. Suggest that she just sit in and watch the first time, and if she still says no, then be cool about it and ask her some other time. (Women love to assert themselves by saying no. A "no answer" the first time doesn't mean she'll say no two weeks from now, though. Women also love to change their minds.)

edit: The "not being flirty" advice above is good. Too many gamers ask women to play soley because they have ulterior (romantic) motives. Put aside the romance and be a friend first.

How do I know so much about single women? Because I'm married of course, and have no ability to use this knowledge. I know nothing about married women, naturally.

 

[Desdichado]

My wife didn't seem to care, neither did any of the other wives I game with. One of them prefers to play half-orc barbarians with 5 max in cha (we use point buy.) Curiously, whenever I play a female character, I like to have a high cha. Go figure.

Oh, and I'm trying out a new sig for a while. Enjoy!

 

[arwink]

Only once have I seen a female gamer put Charisma as her best stat, but that happened continiously regardless of what character she played. To be honest, I don't think it was related to her femininity in any way - much more a personality thing.

My friends fiancee did that with her first character as well, but she was playing a sorcerer and the trend hasn't continued. Two other female gamers have gone for whatever seemed the most appropriate, usually aiming for tank-type characters or rogue/rangers.

And the easiest way I've found to game with women - wait for your gamer friends to start dating. Usually, someone will stumble accross someone with an interest in gaming that they date sooner or later, and those people usually have friends.

 

[Impeesa]

All three of the girls I game with try to keep their charisma high whenever possible, but I think this is just a personality thing. See, they all watch too much anime, and this seems to have a unique effect on females wherein they can't seem to imagine a character who is not dashingly beautiful, rogueishly independent, and possessed of immense supernatural powers (two of them pass the time writing Tenchi Muyo fanfics, the other is a big Oh! My Goddess! fan - you get the idea). So, in Alternity it was always powerful mindwalkers with big weapons, always human. In D&D, it's elven fighter/sorceresses, with the occasional human or (2E style) half-dragon for flavor (class occasionally varies too... one of them is actually playing a weretiger monk now ).

--Impeesa--

 

[Hopping Vampire]

theres a such thing as a female gamer?

 

[Reprisal]

Hehe

theres a such thing as a female gamer?

They're about as rare as a Narrative Rifts player, but...

I've had a few in my group, one was great, another was nuts, and the last one never came back, To be truthful, I couldn't tell you if they kept their Charisma high or not, but that's just some faulty memory, hehe. Gotta upgrade or something, hehe.

 

[Maldur]

I would say charisma as a high stat is about 50/50 among my female players (4) but half plays a bard or a sorcerer.

So I see no difference between male and female.


And yes female gamers exist, my girlfriend has been playing rpg long before I was even contemplating......

 

[hong]

My wife didn't seem to care, neither did any of the other wives I game with.

If and when I'm ever in the situation of seeing a marriage counsellor, I'm going to use that line.