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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rhane Arturant" data-source="post: 2558788">Since we've moved onto the topic of these funnies:39. No matter how quietly you say something, someone will always hear you, and, if it involves harming a person or persons, will instantly try to stop "u." 40. And no matter how good your hearing or sense of smell is, there's always someone behind you. 41. If your best entrance consists of 17 words or less, no one will be willing to RP with you unless theirs is even worse. 42. No matter what unknown and deserted forest your character happens to be walking through, even if it's the dead of night, within 2 minutes there are at least 3 other people who've said hello and 10 others hiding and watching from the shadows or bushes.Never trust the ones who say hello. The ones in the shadows are always the good guys. 43. Death is a state of mind, rather than an actual condition brought about by being stabbed, immolated, chewed up, crushed, poisoned, drowned, beheaded, chopped into little tiny pieces and scattered across all nine continents and both moons, etc.  No one's dead until they're bored.44. If your character is a thief, don't even bother. No one has pockets. At least not while your character is in the room. (i) -- Those who do have pockets carry no money or valuables. Again, at least not while your character is in the room. (ii)----- Those few who have both pockets and money/valuables have the ability to sense your movements in spite of all subterfuge, thieving experience, light and quick hands, and invisibility spells. (iii)------- Also, people know a thief by smell, and smell him as soon as he enters the room whether he's slipping about through the shadows or strolling in like he owns the place. They also know that he is a thief, whether or not he acts like one. 45. Any child character you come across is guaranteed to have none of the following:  parents, respect for authority, proper clothing, food, a place to sleep, manners.  However, they will all be such excellent professional thieves despite their tender age that you will never see them pick your pocket. 46. Pregnancies come to term in approximately 1-2 weeks.  Children are 10 and able to speak 5 days later. 47. When attacking someone, either the whole tavern will leap to their defense or sit and pretend that it's not happening. There is no grey area.48. In ye olde tavern, nobody uses the door. Ever. 49. Every tavern, inn, bar, and other assorted gathering is in the shape of an n-gon, where n is greater than the total number of evil characters in the dark corners.  There must always be room for one more, after all. 50. No matter how many tables, chairs and bartenders are maimed and destroyed in bar-fights there always seems to be more...51. No matter how much you run along screaming for help, nobody will hear you. 52. No matter what you do someone will always come in with a menagerie of 12 or more pets which proceed to explore the tavern. 53. No matter how small the room is, half the people will be in the rafters. (i) --- Don't worry, the rafters are completely safe from your ****** off girlfriend. (ii) ----- Until your best friend inevitably pushes you down. 54. Every female character has to have eyes of the most unlikely colors - seawater blue-green, stunning violet, shimmering silver, amber, etc. You will never ever see brown eyes or brown hair (unless it is 'chestnut locks' or 'chocolate curls'). 55. In any combat scene, the last person to enter into the conflict will be not only inhumanly strong, intelligent, capable, and heroic, but will also end the conflict with one swipe of his or her ancient double-bladed kitana which was handed down from his or her father's father's father, who by the way, was a God and all-powerful, until he was killed by this person, who stole his power and so you can't defeat him anyway, nyah nyah.</blockquote>

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