The wolvorine stance from Bo9S is VERY good, but unless you're taking multiple levels of warblade or swordsage it costs several feats to acquire. It allows you to use any weapon in a grapple, without the -4 penalty, and even gives you +4 to damage if the creature is larger than you.
The easiest access would be to take a level of warblade at 9th level, then spending your 9th level feat on the Martial stance feat to get it. Since the first stance you get has to be a lv1 stance....I'd recommend Step of the wind (ignore penalties for difficult terrain). Otherwise you would need to spend 3 feats to get it.
Personally I think close quarters fighting is worthless to a grapple focused character. Even if you fight something that grapples better than you you most likely still are the best person equipped to grapple against said creature. You'd rather it grapple you than the fighter who is useless with his greatsword in a grapple.
Likewise, clever wrestling is mediocre at best...It basically negates half of the size bonus critters get against you, but iirc it only applies to avoid or escape being grappled.
Get Gloves of the Titans Grip from MIC, and an armband of might. Luckstones and anything else that gives you bonuses on strength based checks (which grappling counts as).
I think monks make very effective grapplers, but only strength focus monks. Dex or wisdom focus monks suck as grapplers. They have lower BAB, but it is more than made up for in the fact that their attacks are not made at -4 in grapples and their weapons typically do much more damage than a fighters weapons will. A combination of Psychic warrior and Monk levels may be the best option IMO...Psionic expansion and Iron grip along with a host of other low level psionic powers can turn a monk into a killing machine.