Hadron Goblin Supercollider

[lukelightning]

To understand the fundamental nature of gobliness, I propose the following experiment:

1: Make a large circular corridor of hundreds or thousands of people with weapons, specially trained in attacking-but-purposefully-missing.

2: Put two goblins in the corridor, between the people. Everyone readies an action to attack the goblin when the goblin is in front of them.

3: Someone attacks the goblin, but purposefully misses. The goblin gets to shift for free, into a space where it is attacked-but-missed again, so it gets to shift again.... meanwhile the other goblin is doing the same thing in the opposite direction.

4: This results in the goblins accelerating to a massive velocity, and colliding at the far side of the circle.

5: From the resulting explosion of goblins smashing into each other at near-light speed, we can discover such fundamental things about the universe, such as what happened to all the nilbogs.

 

[Nymrohd]

We should so do that! And I bet it would cost less than the gross national product of several countries.

 

[gribble]

Sorry to be the party pooper, but this is a case where the theory doesn't stack up to the mechanics.
Unfortunately the shift is an immediate reaction, so the goblins involved can only take one per round... so they'd move around the collider at a constant velocity of 1 square/round = 5 feet/6 seconds = slightly over 1 foot per second (about walking speed). Essentially they'd walk around the collider and gently bump into each other.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Amusing post.

The interesting thing is that neither goblin could ever shift into the square of the other so they'd go from moving incredibly fast to a dead stop as soon as they were adjacent to each other. As crafty as goblins are I'm sure they could come up with a system of tunnels lined with traps that make melee attacks but miss. So long as no two goblins entered the tunnel on either end at exactly the same time they'd have instantaneous travel over long distances. Goblin logistics in action.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

Gotta be careful... this is how uncontrolled, run away Spheres of Annihilation are created.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Sorry to be the party pooper, but this is a case where the theory doesn't stack up to the mechanics.
Unfortunately the shift is an immediate reaction, so the goblins involved can only take one per round...

Boo.

 

[doctorhook]

Gotta be careful... this is how uncontrolled, run away Spheres of Annihilation are created.

This thread has roughly a 1-in-one-billion chance of spawning a supermassive Sphere of Annihilation that engulfs the entire hobby?

 

[B4cchus]

you could, however, acchieve light speed with a similar setup but by giving the goblins enough levels to gain supreme cleave.

 

[LordVyreth]

Why not just use the traditional supersonic bucket brigade?

 

[Lizard]

Reminds me of the Samurai Supreme Cleave Teleport Line....