Help--Dysfunctional Party

[Carebear2326]

Reply

Sounds like the party needs a leader; sounds like your character should step up. Then, as leader, you can consult the pirate at will and implement his suggestions when they're worthy. It's the classic combo- he's the brains behind the pretty face (the bard).

I agree, I am the one with the highest charisma in the party so thus, I would make a great party leader. I have tried suggesting to the rest of the party that the pirate has some good ideas for tactics in the past so we should listen to his opinions. They didn't even admit as characters that he has had good ideas for tactics. I really don't think they trust him at all. I will try the sneaky way of implimenting or suggesting his ideas, like by not telling the rest of the party in character that they are Bucky, the pirates, ideas. My bard has no problem embelishing & stretching the truth a bit to get the party moving. I will just try also to enjoy the little conflicts in the party. That is true as group leader that I do have the power if I choose to, that I do not participate in tactics that will get me killed. I do not wish to die for this cause, for dead men tell no tales, right?
Thanks again for all the great advice. I will take it to heart & I do hope that tonight will go better for all.

 

[Carebear2326]

Reply

I'm not sure why, but as I was reading this thread, I had the "Jaws" song in my head (thu thu thu thu thu thu THUDUDUH!)

What you have here, as others have pointed out, sometimes repeatedly, is a role-playing problem that can explose in a real-life problem, ie players getting frustrated because their characters get frustrated because of what the other characters do because of how the other players act.

(with a sentence like this, if I quadruple post somehow, I'm sure I'll rip a hole in the space-time continuum)

The bard should indeed step up as leader, and the pirates ideas should go through you. If the situation continues and it comes unbearable to you or some other players, you'll have to have a talk. Although the role-playing is very much appreciated, and the occasional ribbing is always welcome, perhaps group unity is more important (as it is a group game) than getting to role-play an obnoxious character.

Yeah, that is the jist of it. I do admit that I can take things pretty personally in roleplaying, something that I am trying very hard to change. I also have been trying to think of ways that I, as a character can kinda have some fun with this dysfunction. I agree there also. My character does have the highest charisma in the party, so thus can talk things through more. I have tried the session before we took a break for Halloween to sit everyone down & explain that though Bucky, the pirate, is extremely annoying & obnoxious, he does have some very good ideas & tactics & that it would be a good idea to listen to them every once in a while. The characters would have nothing to do with that idea at all. They do not trust the pirate, though I suppose that is understandable. I think I will try presenting his idea's in a different way towards the party, like not telling them that they are the pirates ideas. My character has no problem embeleshing & stretching the truth a little every once in a while, or even a lot if it gets the job done.
Thanks so much again for your great advice. I just hope that I can do better tonight at the session & that things run smoother tonight. I will also continue trying harder to not take things that happen in the game so much to heart. I have only been playing for three years or so & this is a continuous problem

 

[Dimwhit]

That is the wierd thing for me. The player groups themselves get along great in general, just in character, they do not get along at all. It is strictly a roleplaying issue. I did try that at our last gaming session, just trying to explain as diplomatically as possible that Bucky, the pirate, did have some great tactic ideas & that maybe we should listen to them more. They just totally blew me off & refused to even consider the option. I think today I will try to have Bucky talk to me about tactics in character without the rest of the party knowing that we discussed these things. My character has no problems embeleshing the truth a bit or just leaving out the detail that it was Bucky's idea. I will see how that works. I am also going to try & just have fun with the dysfunctional party. I have never experienced a party like this before, but I can always learn new things. I just hope that the game tonight goes better.
Thanks again for all the great advice.

It that's the case, I think it's time for a little Survivor! Sounds like you and Bucky need to make an alliance of sorts. Whatever you do, try to figure out a way to get yourselves out just in case things go south, like tonight against the orcs. If things get ugly, you two worry about yourselves and let the rest of the party die. If they're not willing to listen to good tactics to stay alive, they deserve what they get.

Then when the orcs kill them all, you two go back, get their stuff, and find some new adventurers to join your group!

I know, not a very "party unity" thing to do, but it sounds like those charcters have no intention of giving Bucky the time of day, so you and Bucky need to keep yourselves alive. Sometimes, a campaign comes down to every man for himself. I'd try to enjoy it as best you can.

 

[Carebear2326]

Thanks

It that's the case, I think it's time for a little Survivor! Sounds like you and Bucky need to make an alliance of sorts. Whatever you do, try to figure out a way to get yourselves out just in case things go south, like tonight against the orcs. If things get ugly, you two worry about yourselves and let the rest of the party die. If they're not willing to listen to good tactics to stay alive, they deserve what they get.

Then when the orcs kill them all, you two go back, get their stuff, and find some new adventurers to join your group!

I know, not a very "party unity" thing to do, but it sounds like those charcters have no intention of giving Bucky the time of day, so you and Bucky need to keep yourselves alive. Sometimes, a campaign comes down to every man for himself. I'd try to enjoy it as best you can.

I agree, that is almost what it comes down to. I would like to try to avoid that type of thing, but if push comes to shove & they want another bad plan, I will absolutely not sacrifice my life. Just out of character, my husband happens to be playing the pirate, so I have discussed this with him also. He agrees that we both have about the same goals. Get rid of the orcs, but not to the point where we die. Every man for himself if it comes to that. If they are in a bad situation, I will not stick around just to be killed. Dead men tell no tales. I hate to admit it, but if they try that type of thing again like what they did last night or the night before, I will not stick around with the party. I will be out of there very quickly. I usually agree on "party unity" also, but my character is not willing to die just because the characters in her party are being stupid. Sad to say, but maybe if they do get killed, that might teach them a lesson.

Thanks again for the advice & the quick answer. If not anything else, I will just try & do things where I am having fun with my character tonight. I really do hope & pray that things go better for us tonight though.

 

[Carebear2326]

Reply

Well, that went great tonight, not really at all. We lost one party member to death & the other is captured in the keep (unsurprisingly, the two whose strategy has been "damn the pirate's ideas, let's go kill orcs"), plus they all are harping on me about running as soon as I heard the horn for help. I was not going to stick around & get myself killed. We were in a bad tactical situation. We were again outnumbered by the orcs, having stormed the keep. We had managed to kill their main fighter, but at the loss of the dwarf, the main party fighter. The player I think was really frustrated about the lack of communication & party continuity, so refused to be raised, then isn't sure whether she even wanted to create a new character & play anymore with this group. They all gave me a hard time for playing my Chaotic Neutral bard who really felt we were outnumbered & more were going to die. My character's first thought was to get herself out of there & not worry about anything else. My husband and I had a good long talk with the DM afterwards--he's going to talk to the others (particularly the husband/wife team who got killed/captured tonight) and see what he can do to help reconcile the party a bit. I'll keep you posted on how he does.

 

[the Jester]

Here's hoping things turn out! You may need to part ways, however, if your playing styles are too incompatible.

 

[Dimwhit]

Well, that went great tonight, not really at all. We lost one party member to death & the other is captured in the keep (unsurprisingly, the two whose strategy has been "damn the pirate's ideas, let's go kill orcs"), plus they all are harping on me about running as soon as I heard the horn for help. I was not going to stick around & get myself killed. We were in a bad tactical situation. We were again outnumbered by the orcs, having stormed the keep. We had managed to kill their main fighter, but at the loss of the dwarf, the main party fighter. The player I think was really frustrated about the lack of communication & party continuity, so refused to be raised, then isn't sure whether she even wanted to create a new character & play anymore with this group. They all gave me a hard time for playing my Chaotic Neutral bard who really felt we were outnumbered & more were going to die. My character's first thought was to get herself out of there & not worry about anything else. My husband and I had a good long talk with the DM afterwards--he's going to talk to the others (particularly the husband/wife team who got killed/captured tonight) and see what he can do to help reconcile the party a bit. I'll keep you posted on how he does.

Personally, I think you did the right thing. No reason getting yourself killed because the group refused to put together some decent tactics.

But I do hope your group can work things out.

 

[Carebear2326]

Reply

Here's hoping things turn out! You may need to part ways, however, if your playing styles are too incompatible.

Thanks, but I am not too sure that things will turn out with these players. The barbarian & the sorceress are a married couple. The barbarian, the wife, made it pretty clear last night after her character died that she would not accept her character to be resurected at all & did not wish to make a new character either. My character didn't help much either. I ran when I realized that more orcs were coming & didn't even bother to check if everyone else could get out ok. When my character left, the sorceress kinda did a childish thing. Her character instead of casting spells from a safe place on a wall jumped down to where there was a wolf type NPC controlled by a Hobgoblin NPC. We think it was just a throwing his hands up in the air move, kinda like saying "fine if everyone else leaves, I am going to die fighting".

I feel guilty that my actions caused at least one of the players to not want to return, but the barbarian was fixed on only killing orcs, so she took off for the keep without even a thought to the possibility & likelyhood that the entire party could die. We had really gotten lucky these past couple of times that no one really died until now. Our group totally refuses to listen to the bard or the rogue/pirate. We are pretty sure that the barbarian, either personally or in character, has been holding a grudge on the rogue that is not deserved at all.

At least last night me & my husband, since we do run the campaign at our place, after everyone else left, sat down & talked to the DM about what was happening & our feelings about how things were going. He agreed that we are just not acting like a party, just a bunch of characters who for some reason decide to go together & kill some orcs. I hate to say it, but if the 2 decide not to come back, maybe we could find someone else to play who would work better with the group. If they do drop out, we will be looking for another 1 or 2 players since it is hard to play with just 4 players.

Well thanks again for all the advice. I really do appreciate it.

 

[Demmero]

We lost one party member to death & the other is captured in the keep (unsurprisingly, the two whose strategy has been "damn the pirate's ideas, let's go kill orcs"), plus they all are harping on me about running as soon as I heard the horn for help. I was not going to stick around & get myself killed. We were in a bad tactical situation. We were again outnumbered by the orcs, having stormed the keep. We had managed to kill their main fighter, but at the loss of the dwarf, the main party fighter. The player I think was really frustrated about the lack of communication & party continuity, so refused to be raised, then isn't sure whether she even wanted to create a new character & play anymore with this group. They all gave me a hard time for playing my Chaotic Neutral bard who really felt we were outnumbered & more were going to die. My character's first thought was to get herself out of there & not worry about anything else.

Sounds to me like your group has a potentially lethal mix of role-players and roll-players (more into the hack-n-slash aspect of the game). STAND YOUR GROUND! You and your hubby seem to have a good grasp on the roles of your characters, and seem willing to get involved in the dice-rolling/combat aspect of it as well--IF some semblance of tactics is employed by the group. You are both being true to your characters and willing to work within the larger group as a whole. Bravo to you!

The other players seem to be more into the combat part of the game. They rush in with no thought to tactics, just some mad bloodlust. Fine; that's their prerogative. Unlike you and your husband, however, they show no sign of bending in the least for the good of the party as a whole. That's their loss.

A bard and a swashbuckler are not made to survive no-tactics, straight-ahead, kick-down-the-door types of combat. It's wrong for the other players to assume that you'll be with them in the front lines if that's the way they're going to act all the time. (I'm surprised the elf sorceress isn't dead already if she's not picking her spots in combat). They have absolutely no right to expect you and your hubby to risk your characters in a type of encounter that they're not built to survive.

As for the players who gave you a hard time about running when things started to look bad...ask them a question yourself. Ask them what they expected your character to do. I can't think of a single answer they might give that you couldn't refute quickly and easily. If they say they expect you to stand, fight, and possibly die with them reply that such an expectation would be more reasonable if they entered combat using some tactics that would give your PC a reasonable chance of walking away alive afterwards.

Putting myself in their shoes, I wouldn't like having a party member who ran away at the first sign of trouble. But then again, I realize the value of tactics and teamworks and wouldn't be as foolish and bull-headed as they're being. It looks like there's gonna have to be some give-and-take if your party is to ever become a cohesive unit; but I think you and your hubby have been the more giving of the two sides to this point. It's time for the other players to bring something to the table.

 

[Elf Witch]

Thanks, but I am not too sure that things will turn out with these players. The barbarian & the sorceress are a married couple. The barbarian, the wife, made it pretty clear last night after her character died that she would not accept her character to be resurected at all & did not wish to make a new character either. My character didn't help much either. I ran when I realized that more orcs were coming & didn't even bother to check if everyone else could get out ok. When my character left, the sorceress kinda did a childish thing. Her character instead of casting spells from a safe place on a wall jumped down to where there was a wolf type NPC controlled by a Hobgoblin NPC. We think it was just a throwing his hands up in the air move, kinda like saying "fine if everyone else leaves, I am going to die fighting".

I feel guilty that my actions caused at least one of the players to not want to return, but the barbarian was fixed on only killing orcs, so she took off for the keep without even a thought to the possibility & likelyhood that the entire party could die. We had really gotten lucky these past couple of times that no one really died until now. Our group totally refuses to listen to the bard or the rogue/pirate. We are pretty sure that the barbarian, either personally or in character, has been holding a grudge on the rogue that is not deserved at all.

At least last night me & my husband, since we do run the campaign at our place, after everyone else left, sat down & talked to the DM about what was happening & our feelings about how things were going. He agreed that we are just not acting like a party, just a bunch of characters who for some reason decide to go together & kill some orcs. I hate to say it, but if the 2 decide not to come back, maybe we could find someone else to play who would work better with the group. If they do drop out, we will be looking for another 1 or 2 players since it is hard to play with just 4 players.

Well thanks again for all the advice. I really do appreciate it.

I have a few things I would like to add first of all it is not wrong to run if that is your character's personality and it sounds like it is. But and it is a big but this can often cause hard feelings with both the other characters and their players. Especially when someone dies. If it is the players who are upset then there is not much you can do but let roll of your back and try to explain that it was a role playing decision. In game it is another matter characters who run even if justified get branded coward. Don't be surprised if your character is not trusted and you have to overcome the coward brand. Which in itself can be great fun with a lot of role playing.

I think the problem is a player thing in your group. Sometimes it does not work to have couples play at the same table. Becasue sitting where I am I have to wonder if it is a us against them. You say that Bucky has the best tatics and the others should trust him more your character does. I am not saying that this is not true but I do have to wonder how much of this is being colored by the fact that he is your husband.

It is very possiable that the other couple feels this way too. You and your husband talk after the game and I am sure they do to and they me feel that you are wrong and that your character is only supporting Bucky because he is your husband.

It would really help if you all sat down and talked. I also wish the others could post their views because I have found that there is usually two sides to a problem.