Help with tattoo in Elvish

[AuroraGyps]

I'll echo that. If that's the place it is meant to be, consider moving it up your forearm a bit where there is a bit more meat.

Well, it would be about 1" from the edge of my palm. Yeah, I know it'll hurt, but I'll just have to deal. I'm pretty good with pain though.

Anyhow, good luck with the tattoo, AuroraGyps. Will it be your first?

Yup. I also want to get a tattoo on the back of my neck (I know, another place that'll hurt) of a pansy flower, but this one is more important because of the meaning it'll have. I'm not suicidal, but I think about it all the time. I can't help it after going through so much for so long. Unfortunatly, slit wrists tends to be what comes to mind, so that's why I want the tattoo. It's a physical reminder of what I've been through, what I need to get through every day, and what I've managed to not do to myself.
I plan on getting it, hopefully, the next time I visit my parents at this great tattoo place in their town. My ex's step-dad got some work done there and they did a really nice job.

 

[Greylock]

Oddly enough, both of my "show-piece" tattoos have some relation to suicide. The lesser of the two came when I was seriously considering offing myself. This was many, many years ago, when my life seemed cheap. My father was concerned enough that he offered to pay for a psychiatric visit. I took that money, and went to a tattoo parlor.

Sat and talked to the artist for a very long time. Gave him my ideas, and asked for input, as I told him my pathetic tale. Ended up with a very nice tat. When the tat was done, the artist told me I wasn't allowed to "do the deed" without his permission, as I was now carrying his art. I later learned, oddly enough, that the artist held a degree in Psychology.

My master-work tat is derived from John Gardner's "In The Suicide Mountains." No real story there, I just dig the book and the art in it.

All that said, I still recommend thinking long and hard about getting a tat on your wrist.

 

[d20fool]

Tattoo therapy

It is not my intention to offend, but to advise. I am a suicide survivor, my brother took his own life ten years ago this upcoming May. I am not at all familiar with your background or situation, but I am glad you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with us, that is good. However, if you are thinking about suicide on a regular basis, and planning a tattoo as a preventative certainly qualifies, then you are suicidal by definition. You may not desire it right now, but you are definately in danger.

I hope that you have already sought professional help and that said therapist is aware of your chronic thoughts. Be aware that suicide victims have a complete lack of serotonin in their brain and are chemically imbalanced and incapable of rationality. In other words, you may find yourself doing things you currently do not think you are capable of. You are put into the unlikely and unwanted situation of not being able to trust yourself, I feel you must be aware of this and hope you take the appropriate interventions.

I am not dissuading you from getting a tattoo, I think that it is an excellent countermeasure to doing something irrational and a personal declaration of your commitment to life. However, it is no substitute for therapy, which I urge you to seek. I miss my brother dearly, and wish that he had sought help before he made the choices he did.

Further, I must advise you carry this phone number, 1-800-784-2433, or check http://suicidehotlines.com/ for a number for your state. It is important to give yourself support for a moment of weakness. Make sure you keep daily contact with people who know you and can "read" you for shifts in behavior. Self monitoring during this time can be difficult. And again, if you have not done so, please seek help.

John McCarty

 

[AuroraGyps]

It is not my intention to offend, but to advise. I am a suicide survivor, my brother took his own life ten years ago this upcoming May. I am not at all familiar with your background or situation, but I am glad you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with us, that is good. However, if you are thinking about suicide on a regular basis, and planning a tattoo as a preventative certainly qualifies, then you are suicidal by definition. You may not desire it right now, but you are definately in danger.

Thanks for the kind words, but please don't worry. I'm gussing you haven't read any of my other posts, so I'll give you the quick version: Social anxiety disorder and depression for 20 years... been seeing specialists(shrinks, therapists, etc) for most of that time (lax a few years after the move to Buffalo)... been taking various meds on & off for almost 15 years... had a 10 year relationship (3 yrs long distance, 2 living together, almost 5 married)... we made a few mistakes, I got worse, he divorced me, got w/ another girl, and under 3 years they're married, have a new house, and a new house... after the divorce, all our(his) friends dumped me, his family dropped contact with me, and things have been really bad. I'm currently seeing a shrink & a therapist, taking meds, and appealing being denied for SSI.

I'm still working on things and I have no plans on hurting myself, but I can't help but think of it sometimes. I've been doing this for so long, I'm really tired and I can't help but want to just give up sometimes. I feel awful for putting my parents through so much and all the money they've spent helping me, but at the same time, I could never kill myself because of all they've gone through. They always think they were horrible parents, but I could have been much worse... I never turned to alcohol, drugs, sex, cutting, running away, none of it. They weren't perfect and we all made mistakes, butif they were horrible parents, I could've been dead years ago. When I am doing really bad and start to really think of hurting myself, it scares the hell out of me and I know I'm bad and need extra help. I want the tattoo to be an extra tool. A reminder of what I've made it through and a reminder of what it takes to get through each day. It's also a symbol that I don't want completely out of sight. People don't understand emotional problems and sometimes I feel like I need a spike sticking out of my head for people to understand that what I go through is real. I don't want it to be an "I told ya so" thing... if that was the case I'd bee getting a big, honkin' thing on my forehead. It's something that I want to be able to see when I need too, to see anytime to remind me I'm still fighting, and if others happen to notice it, I'm proud to tell them what it means.

So, thanks again for your concern. The fact that you're willing to try to help a stranger means a lot. That's why I post here, because the people on ENWorld are more than just a gaming community... they're friends.

 

[d20fool]

Thanks for the kind words, but please don't worry. [snip]
So, thanks again for your concern. The fact that you're willing to try to help a stranger means a lot. That's why I post here, because the people on ENWorld are more than just a gaming community... they're friends.

You are very welcome. I know it's hard, but I assure you that you will be happy again if you hang in there. My mother went off the deep end after my parent's divorce, but I feel quite sure she is happier now than she would have been if they had remained married. I am sorry for your pain and grief and know you must feel emotionally exhausted. I'm sure I speak for many EN Worlders when I say we support you and only wish for you happiness and success.

John "d20fool" McCarty

 

[Krieg]

I'm still working on things and I have no plans on hurting myself, but I can't help but think of it sometimes. I've been doing this for so long, I'm really tired and I can't help but want to just give up sometimes. I feel awful for putting my parents through so much and all the money they've spent helping me, but at the same time, I could never kill myself because of all they've gone through. They always think they were horrible parents, but I could have been much worse... I never turned to alcohol, drugs, sex, cutting, running away, none of it. They weren't perfect and we all made mistakes, butif they were horrible parents, I could've been dead years ago. When I am doing really bad and start to really think of hurting myself, it scares the hell out of me and I know I'm bad and need extra help.

That really sounds so much like my wife sometimes. Her symptoms are quite a bit milder but the same feelings/impulses are there. It is almost as scary having someone you love go through that as it is to go through it yourself.

 

[AuroraGyps]

That really sounds so much like my wife sometimes. Her symptoms are quite a bit milder but the same feelings/impulses are there. It is almost as scary having someone you love go through that as it is to go through it yourself.

Even if she isn't as bad off as me, she might need professional help. My ex and I made some mistakes in my medical care like letting me go too long off meds and working with a shrink that we didn't really like. Also, he thought he could take care of me and fix me... sweet thought, but wrong. My problem is what mainly led to our divorce. It's a long story, but all I'll say is "don't try this at home"... in other words, if you or your SO need help, go find real help, whether it be a shrink, therapist, etc. Don't make the same mistake we made.

 

[Greylock]

I want the tattoo to be an extra tool. A reminder of what I've made it through and a reminder of what it takes to get through each day. It's also a symbol that I don't want completely out of sight. People don't understand emotional problems and sometimes I feel like I need a spike sticking out of my head for people to understand that what I go through is real. I don't want it to be an "I told ya so" thing... if that was the case I'd bee getting a big, honkin' thing on my forehead. It's something that I want to be able to see when I need too, to see anytime to remind me I'm still fighting, and if others happen to notice it, I'm proud to tell them what it means.

I understand this, very well. So why make it a small tat on your wrist? Make it a big, honkin' statement. Get yourself something beautiful and proud. Spend the money. Don't get something turned inward, get something bold.

[Still recommending something on the UPPER forearm.]

 

[Krieg]

I know, but unfortunatley sometimes that is easier said than done.

Her depression is primarily due to extremely high stress levels over the past year or so. She has been diagnosed with Crohns (an incurable gastro intestinal disorder, similar irritated bowel syndrome except worse), contracted cat scratch disease (which NOONE catches anymore), had two operations (one for the Crohns and the second to remove an infected/necrotic lymph node the size of a golf ball from the cat scratch), been (mis)diagnosed with cancer twice (colorectal cancer once & hodgkins once) and was raped mad.

Luckily a long term chemical imbalance is not the primary contributor. It has just been an extremely devestating year for her emotionally. She was seeing a therapist at one point but was unhappy with the individual in question and stopped going. I've been pushing for her to get back into counseling (and myself as well if need be) but so far she has been resistant. Luckily she is finally finding other outlets for her frustrations & things have been on an upturn lately.

It's been a rough battle, but we will get through it.

 

[AuroraGyps]

I understand this, very well. So why make it a small tat on your wrist? Make it a big, honkin' statement. Get yourself something beautiful and proud. Spend the money. Don't get something turned inward, get something bold.

I have a social anxiety disorder, I don't want to call THAT much attention to myself! Seriously, while I wish I had the money to get something really snazzy, I don't (I'm on foodstamps and Medicaid right now). Besides, I want something subtle and classy... and nothing says classy like Elvish. Also, nothing says, "don't slit you wrist," than a tattoo saying "Strength*Faith*Courage" ON your wrist. I know, "but gyps, you're only getting it on one wrist." Well, I'm right handed, so whenever I think of hurting myself, that brief moment before I tell myself to "shut the heck up", I glance at my left wrist. I think it's because I got bit by a dog in HS on the right hand and was worried about lasting damage (none thankfully), so never think of the right wrist getting cut. Weird, but that's me all over.