orchid blossom
Explorer
Jake takes a seat next to Ruby on the train, watching her out of the corner of his eye.
Time goes by and Nanuet notices that Jake has been quiet for the ride so far. As Nanuet continues to watch Jake he also notes that the gambler appears troubled, though Jake masks it when he sees that anyone is watching him. When Jake gets up making some excuse to stretch his legs and heads off towards the back of the train, Nanuet waits a few moments before he slides out of his seat and follows him. Nanuet finds Jake between train cars gazing at the passing landscape.
"Hi Nanuet. You didn't feel like sitting either, huh." Jake says and has a small friendly smile. He coughs and waves his arm in front of his face as the wood smoke wafts between the cars from the shifted breeze. "Ack, the air's not better though."
"Usually isn't downwind from a fire friend. So, you seem more troubled than usual, want to share? I know Ruby has been really out of sorts lately, is that what's on your mind?"
"I usually seem troubled?" Jake laughs and that seems to be more real than the smile he had applied to his face. "Of course it's Ruby, aren't woman usually the trouble that appear on men's faces?" Jake sighs, a sound Nanuet has heard all too often from him of late. "It's bad enough that this Turner guy is after her. Worse that she is so scared that she is behaving erratically and even destructively. I thought I was making progress on preventing her from trying to bolt on me, then out of nowhere Thursday night she.... she.... oh, blast!" He leans on the railing and looks out over the desert landscape as the train is clicking along the tracks.
Nanuet leans with his back on the railing his arms folded across his chest. "Glad I could at least make you laugh. Look Jake, no one knows Ruby better than you, that much I will admit but I at least know that she is still an untamed spirit. I think much of her would be lost if that spirit were to be quelled. I know she is scared, heck, we are all scared, but she'll be OK. We'll all keep an eye on her, we all care about her too." Nanuet pats Jake on the back, then coughs lightly from the wood smoke.
"I know you do. I know you'll all be there for for her." Jake turns to face Nanuet and wipes his check with a hand. "So I should just be worried about keeping Turner away from her, that is all that should be important now." He pauses a moment before he blurts out, "Ruby wants to get married."
Nanuet coughs again, but this time on Jake's words, not on the smoke. "Ruby West? Our Ruby West, the woman sitting on this train, the one that sings at the Lucky Lady Saloon? Are you pulling my leg? When I first met her anything that lasted more than a couple of hours was not on her to do list, guess she has changed more than I realized." Nanuet claps Jake on the back again. "So when's the date?"
Jake's eyes buldged. "There is no date! Don't you be telling anyone this either." Jake wags his finger at the indian. "You have it exactly. Our Ruby West suddenly wants to settle down. No, she doesn't want to settle down but does want to get married. At least I think she does. It was pretty confusing. I didn't handle it very well. She kept coming up with reasons it was good and I, well I guess I came up with reasons why it wasn't. Then she came up with different reasons, and pretty soon my head was spining. I don't think she is mad at me, but maybe she is."
"I think you would know if she was mad at you, I think we would all know if she was mad at you." Nanuet says with a chuckle. "So what's so wrong with marriage? You two are already comitted to each other, you live together which in my tribe would have you married already. Heck, you even own a business together, how much more comitted can you be? What are you scared of?"
"That is what Red said, that I was already married." Jake looks strangely at Nanuet and then shakes his head. "It's complicated. Besides that I could never imagine myself married, what if the special bond that attracts us is disturbed by marriage? I mean, it's not like we are ordinary folks." Jake stuffs his hands in his pockets. "What am I afraid of? That is exactly what I am trying to figure out. I can't imagine being without her and yet marriage seems so... so final. Out of the blue she is suddenly talking marriage. How in Hades did THAT happen. Then she implies that I don't love her enough and that I have doubts about us. Oh, sure, she says that's not what she means, but it is what she said. Marriage would change how people see us, see me. Normally I don't care, but as a husband to Ruby could I still let her carry on the way she does? Folks might start to think I was soft, a pushover not any more dangerous than a milk snake." Jake makes a sour face. "Nanuet, you can't bluff if folks don't think you'll call them. Whether at the poker table or facing another man with his hand hovering next to his holster, if they think Jake has no bite they'll push me. You know its true, many folks won't cross a line with me because I wear this holster low down here and the word is I know how to use it. What happens if the word is that Jake can't control his wife?"
"What if we start taking each other for granted? I see her everyday and think, how am I going to maker her stay with me today? If we were married would I start to feel like I own her? What about her? It always takes more to satisfy her. What is next after marriage? How much more can I give her before she is bored with me?" Jake looks at his left hand. "I've never been a laws and rules kind of person. I have never even imagined what it would be like to be married. Bang! Suddenly she wants me to think it is a great idea?" Jake leans his head back and rubs his eyes for a moment before looking back at his indian friend. "Mierda, Nanuet, what am I going to do?"
"First, you're going to take a deep breath. Once we get out of this smoke that is. Then you are going to find out what Ruby really wants. Maybe she just wanted to get your feelings on the subject. Maybe she really does want to make things official. I don't see how it changes things other than letting the world know Ruby is off limits. As far as how you two feel for each other, I have never seen two people more passionate as the likes of you. I don't know much about what you do to satisfy her, but I can see that you two have the fire for each other. She is a special girl Jake and most men would kill to find themselves in your position."
"Heh," he says in a low voice, "seems like I've done my share of killing over Miss West, and I don't seem to be done." Jake shifts his gaze to the landscape but his eyes don't seem to focus. "She IS a special woman, Indian, there is no denying that. I suppose you wouldn't see how it changes things. All this white man culture is still pretty new to you. For that matter it seems foriegn to me too. I'm confused Nanuet, marriage seems too much like being owned and owning."
"Marriage should be about taking two souls and making one life out of them. It is about sharing your hopes and dreams for the future and about shoring up your weaknesses with another's strengths. It should be about companionship and love. Why do you white men have to own everything? You own land, you own buildings, but you can't own someone's heart and soul. Consider it a blessing should she truly want to share those gifts with you."
Jake stares dumbly at Nanuet while he talks and then for a few moments after before finally, "I don't want to own anyone's heart or soul, nor have mine enslaved either. I want to give it or have it given freely every day. You are probably right that marriage SHOULD be about those things, but in this society IS it about those things? You may have noticed that I don't fit into society very well....." Jake looks back to the landscape. "I do cherish Ruby. I spent the first three months being careful I didn't hold onto to her too tight and trigger one of her frightened flights away from me. Amazing isn't it how fast a woman can change her mind. That girl has my head spinning. Old Caleb White once told me, 'Jake you should always be in love. That is the reason you should never marry'. Back then I thought he was making a joke....."
Jake stands up from leaning against the railing. "Maybe I'm just too much a scoundrel to be a married man. I don't know." He shakes his head. "Seems like Jake doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. I concentrated so hard on keeping her from running away that I had never imagined those words coming out of her mouth. They're out now and there is no taking them back." Jake pats Nanuet on the shoulder and reaches for the door to the train car. "Thanks for listening to this hombre blanco loco raving, indian. Let's get back inside before I get any more of these cinders in my eyes, they'll make me blind."
Time goes by and Nanuet notices that Jake has been quiet for the ride so far. As Nanuet continues to watch Jake he also notes that the gambler appears troubled, though Jake masks it when he sees that anyone is watching him. When Jake gets up making some excuse to stretch his legs and heads off towards the back of the train, Nanuet waits a few moments before he slides out of his seat and follows him. Nanuet finds Jake between train cars gazing at the passing landscape.
"Hi Nanuet. You didn't feel like sitting either, huh." Jake says and has a small friendly smile. He coughs and waves his arm in front of his face as the wood smoke wafts between the cars from the shifted breeze. "Ack, the air's not better though."
"Usually isn't downwind from a fire friend. So, you seem more troubled than usual, want to share? I know Ruby has been really out of sorts lately, is that what's on your mind?"
"I usually seem troubled?" Jake laughs and that seems to be more real than the smile he had applied to his face. "Of course it's Ruby, aren't woman usually the trouble that appear on men's faces?" Jake sighs, a sound Nanuet has heard all too often from him of late. "It's bad enough that this Turner guy is after her. Worse that she is so scared that she is behaving erratically and even destructively. I thought I was making progress on preventing her from trying to bolt on me, then out of nowhere Thursday night she.... she.... oh, blast!" He leans on the railing and looks out over the desert landscape as the train is clicking along the tracks.
Nanuet leans with his back on the railing his arms folded across his chest. "Glad I could at least make you laugh. Look Jake, no one knows Ruby better than you, that much I will admit but I at least know that she is still an untamed spirit. I think much of her would be lost if that spirit were to be quelled. I know she is scared, heck, we are all scared, but she'll be OK. We'll all keep an eye on her, we all care about her too." Nanuet pats Jake on the back, then coughs lightly from the wood smoke.
"I know you do. I know you'll all be there for for her." Jake turns to face Nanuet and wipes his check with a hand. "So I should just be worried about keeping Turner away from her, that is all that should be important now." He pauses a moment before he blurts out, "Ruby wants to get married."
Nanuet coughs again, but this time on Jake's words, not on the smoke. "Ruby West? Our Ruby West, the woman sitting on this train, the one that sings at the Lucky Lady Saloon? Are you pulling my leg? When I first met her anything that lasted more than a couple of hours was not on her to do list, guess she has changed more than I realized." Nanuet claps Jake on the back again. "So when's the date?"
Jake's eyes buldged. "There is no date! Don't you be telling anyone this either." Jake wags his finger at the indian. "You have it exactly. Our Ruby West suddenly wants to settle down. No, she doesn't want to settle down but does want to get married. At least I think she does. It was pretty confusing. I didn't handle it very well. She kept coming up with reasons it was good and I, well I guess I came up with reasons why it wasn't. Then she came up with different reasons, and pretty soon my head was spining. I don't think she is mad at me, but maybe she is."
"I think you would know if she was mad at you, I think we would all know if she was mad at you." Nanuet says with a chuckle. "So what's so wrong with marriage? You two are already comitted to each other, you live together which in my tribe would have you married already. Heck, you even own a business together, how much more comitted can you be? What are you scared of?"
"That is what Red said, that I was already married." Jake looks strangely at Nanuet and then shakes his head. "It's complicated. Besides that I could never imagine myself married, what if the special bond that attracts us is disturbed by marriage? I mean, it's not like we are ordinary folks." Jake stuffs his hands in his pockets. "What am I afraid of? That is exactly what I am trying to figure out. I can't imagine being without her and yet marriage seems so... so final. Out of the blue she is suddenly talking marriage. How in Hades did THAT happen. Then she implies that I don't love her enough and that I have doubts about us. Oh, sure, she says that's not what she means, but it is what she said. Marriage would change how people see us, see me. Normally I don't care, but as a husband to Ruby could I still let her carry on the way she does? Folks might start to think I was soft, a pushover not any more dangerous than a milk snake." Jake makes a sour face. "Nanuet, you can't bluff if folks don't think you'll call them. Whether at the poker table or facing another man with his hand hovering next to his holster, if they think Jake has no bite they'll push me. You know its true, many folks won't cross a line with me because I wear this holster low down here and the word is I know how to use it. What happens if the word is that Jake can't control his wife?"
"What if we start taking each other for granted? I see her everyday and think, how am I going to maker her stay with me today? If we were married would I start to feel like I own her? What about her? It always takes more to satisfy her. What is next after marriage? How much more can I give her before she is bored with me?" Jake looks at his left hand. "I've never been a laws and rules kind of person. I have never even imagined what it would be like to be married. Bang! Suddenly she wants me to think it is a great idea?" Jake leans his head back and rubs his eyes for a moment before looking back at his indian friend. "Mierda, Nanuet, what am I going to do?"
"First, you're going to take a deep breath. Once we get out of this smoke that is. Then you are going to find out what Ruby really wants. Maybe she just wanted to get your feelings on the subject. Maybe she really does want to make things official. I don't see how it changes things other than letting the world know Ruby is off limits. As far as how you two feel for each other, I have never seen two people more passionate as the likes of you. I don't know much about what you do to satisfy her, but I can see that you two have the fire for each other. She is a special girl Jake and most men would kill to find themselves in your position."
"Heh," he says in a low voice, "seems like I've done my share of killing over Miss West, and I don't seem to be done." Jake shifts his gaze to the landscape but his eyes don't seem to focus. "She IS a special woman, Indian, there is no denying that. I suppose you wouldn't see how it changes things. All this white man culture is still pretty new to you. For that matter it seems foriegn to me too. I'm confused Nanuet, marriage seems too much like being owned and owning."
"Marriage should be about taking two souls and making one life out of them. It is about sharing your hopes and dreams for the future and about shoring up your weaknesses with another's strengths. It should be about companionship and love. Why do you white men have to own everything? You own land, you own buildings, but you can't own someone's heart and soul. Consider it a blessing should she truly want to share those gifts with you."
Jake stares dumbly at Nanuet while he talks and then for a few moments after before finally, "I don't want to own anyone's heart or soul, nor have mine enslaved either. I want to give it or have it given freely every day. You are probably right that marriage SHOULD be about those things, but in this society IS it about those things? You may have noticed that I don't fit into society very well....." Jake looks back to the landscape. "I do cherish Ruby. I spent the first three months being careful I didn't hold onto to her too tight and trigger one of her frightened flights away from me. Amazing isn't it how fast a woman can change her mind. That girl has my head spinning. Old Caleb White once told me, 'Jake you should always be in love. That is the reason you should never marry'. Back then I thought he was making a joke....."
Jake stands up from leaning against the railing. "Maybe I'm just too much a scoundrel to be a married man. I don't know." He shakes his head. "Seems like Jake doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. I concentrated so hard on keeping her from running away that I had never imagined those words coming out of her mouth. They're out now and there is no taking them back." Jake pats Nanuet on the shoulder and reaches for the door to the train car. "Thanks for listening to this hombre blanco loco raving, indian. Let's get back inside before I get any more of these cinders in my eyes, they'll make me blind."