D&D 4E Here's my first 4e D&D adventure (Dawn of Shadows)

[Uber Dungeon]

I've done several 3rd edition adventure's but this is my first 4e adventure so give it a look and let me know what you think.
I intend to be making ruffly 4 or 5 of this saga. this is the first one.

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It's in .pdf format

edit: Also here is the City map I'm using it was created by was created by Gandwarf. I've really loved this city ever since i layed eye's on it. I believe it was done in CC3 city designer.

 

[Roger]

Editing is a bit rough in spots but it looks like a good start. And this does seem like a pretty fine way to begin:

The World as you know it is a dark decaying sass pool of rotting filth.


Cheers,
Roger

 

[Ketjak]

Editing is a bit rough in spots but it looks like a good start. And this does seem like a pretty fine way to begin:

The World as you know it is a dark decaying sass pool of rotting filth.


Cheers,
Roger

Though a dark decaying pool of rotten filth, the world is... sassy!

(Meant friendly, not mean.)

 

[Camelot]

Though the English major inside of me cringes, the DM inside congratulates you on a fun adventure! I do have a few comments, though.

Combat in 4e is vastly different from combat in 3.xe (at least of what I've seen of 3e, I've never played). You should add a lot more variety in terrain and such in the dungeon to make each combat memorable. Don't scatter random combat encounters around unless they help tell the story.

Also, and this might be more of an opinion thing, but treasure isn't randomly determined in 4e. The treasure parcels in the DMG are fair enough, and easy to place throughout the dungeon. All the treasure should be given, no more, no less. If the players miss treasure you had planned, you stick it with the next treasure parcel. If they decide to search bodies that you had planned not to be holding anything, reward them by giving them treasure, but take it from a future treasure hoard so it evens out. Make the treasure be a reward for clever thinking and exciting theatrics, not randomly scattered in boring trapped chests.

Also, I didn't read too carefully, but I didn't notice any skill challenges. They're actually quite fun, despite the problems many DMs say they cause. My players frequently tell me that they have a lot more fun with skill challenges, primarily (I believe) because challenges are good at telling the story and they are quick and easy to understand, while combat is slow, sometimes meaningless, and can get clogged with rules problems. Even in a dungeon, skill challenges can be fun. Try to convince the gang members to let you through instead of just killing them. Get through a hallway rigged with twenty or more dangerous traps. The players will love the simplicity yet dramatic turns skill challenges present.

So, that's my two (or ten) cents. Good work, and good luck!

 

[Uber Dungeon]

Though the English major inside of me cringes, the DM inside congratulates you on a fun adventure! I do have a few comments, though.

Combat in 4e is vastly different from combat in 3.xe (at least of what I've seen of 3e, I've never played). You should add a lot more variety in terrain and such in the dungeon to make each combat memorable. Don't scatter random combat encounters around unless they help tell the story.

Also, and this might be more of an opinion thing, but treasure isn't randomly determined in 4e. The treasure parcels in the DMG are fair enough, and easy to place throughout the dungeon. All the treasure should be given, no more, no less. If the players miss treasure you had planned, you stick it with the next treasure parcel. If they decide to search bodies that you had planned not to be holding anything, reward them by giving them treasure, but take it from a future treasure hoard so it evens out. Make the treasure be a reward for clever thinking and exciting theatrics, not randomly scattered in boring trapped chests.

Also, I didn't read too carefully, but I didn't notice any skill challenges. They're actually quite fun, despite the problems many DMs say they cause. My players frequently tell me that they have a lot more fun with skill challenges, primarily (I believe) because challenges are good at telling the story and they are quick and easy to understand, while combat is slow, sometimes meaningless, and can get clogged with rules problems. Even in a dungeon, skill challenges can be fun. Try to convince the gang members to let you through instead of just killing them. Get through a hallway rigged with twenty or more dangerous traps. The players will love the simplicity yet dramatic turns skill challenges present.

So, that's my two (or ten) cents. Good work, and good luck!

Hay thanks for all the constructive criticism, I appreciate it.

I agree with not scattering random encounters in the dungeon, I suppose I should have explained the reasoning in witch they wore there. The soul reason the fire beetles, skeletons and Kruthik are there is becuse I just enjoy playing them as a DM, they really have no business being there. Xb

My opinion; I've always loved the generating of treasure So I favor using a treasure hord generator to make a random list of treasure to roll on, I think it's fun and interesting, kind of like a lottery.
I do however agree on rewording Creative thinking and playing. I like the idea of take it from a future treasure hoard to even things out. Most of the treasure I put into the dungeon are in secret room's, most of witch probably wont be found, even then I hid some of the treasure in the room's. But again I think rewording it rather then having it laying around sounds like a good way of going about it.

skill challenges totally cant agree with you more about skill challenges. I really ignored hallways, I do have trapped doors for rouges to find and disable but it's only the doors so it becomes predictable. I should have added in rooms trapped to the brim and the occasional hallway, in fact getting on traps some of that treasure could have bin a mimic (but then again that would be getting into random unexplained encounters)

-thanks a bunch for the input, I think I got a more defined Idea of what I'd want to incorporate into my adventure's.

I might want to make a revision, but I think I would rather move on to the next part of the sage. I DM every other week to I got 2 weeks to get'er done.