That opening line here reminded me of the tele-evangelist from Texas. I can't remember his name. The one with the bad hair. Someone here can remind me of his name.
We used to get him on the satellite feed. And he used to just watch his horses race in the horse-and-buggy races, and then he'd preach a little bit, and then he'd stop and say, "if I don't get $10,000 in the next hour, Satan will pull my soul into Hell" or something crazy like that. And then he'd just shut up for the next hour until he got the money.
Sad.