How many kids do you have?

[mythago]

Three. Seems like five.

And yes, they're gamers.

 

[Rel]

I believe in the overall goodness of humanity. But out of the ones who AREN'T, there are some smart and dedicated devotees to their sicknesses, and one has to be careful anywhere people can be anonymous - cause there may be very little way to track them when they act and its too late.

I wanted to make a brief comment on this topic, Torm. I'm not in any way disputing your point that there are a few sickos out there who could use the information presented in the posts in this thread, and other similar threads, to do harm to the families of those who post in them. But, for me, as well as many others I suspect, it is a simple matter of risk/benefit analysis, even if we don't always think of it in those terms. (man, could there BE a couple more commas in that last sentence? )

I don't have any hard statistical data in front of me now but I'll go out on a limb and guess that my (and my family's) odds of dying in a car accident this year are greater than those of being hunted down by a internet-stalker/serial killer. But I've got places that I need to go and places that I want to go. On an almost weekly basis, I drive my daughter to the mall for the sole purpose of riding the Merry-Go-Round. That's about a frivolous as things get, and yet I'm risking our lives by getting in the car to make that trip. Why would I do such a thing when it serves no real useful purpose in our lives?

That's the same way I feel about threads like this. Am I getting a benefit out of it? Sure. It's fairly miniscule in the greater scheme of things but I feel more connected and friendly toward my fellow ENWorlders by sharing such information about ourselves. A pretty small benefit really. But, for me, it outweighs the miniscule chance that somebody reading this is going to hunt me or my family down. If others weigh these odds and come up with a different answer then I don't fault them. I only hope they have no regrets later if they stayed home and didn't ride the Merry-Go-Round.

Anyhow, I look forward to meeting you next weekend at NCGDV and I promise you that I'm not an internet-stalker/serial killer.

Really.

I promise.

 

[HellHound]

Not to be a party-pooper, and not that I suspect anyone specific of anything, but I just HAVE to point out that answering a question like this on the 'net is Out-Security as anything. If I were to meet any of you at a gameday or something, and you seemed okay, I might talk about my kids in detail - but certainly not on a message board.

Since both my kids are published d20 writers and illustrators, there really isn't much I'm posting here that people who want to know won't find out for themselves.

Although I never refer to the gelflings by their full names, nor do I state what school they go to, etc.

I understand your concern, but once in the public eye, there's no point in trying to hide after.

 

[Desdichado]

Not to be a party-pooper, and not that I suspect anyone specific of anything, but I just HAVE to point out that answering a question like this on the 'net is Out-Security as anything. If I were to meet any of you at a gameday or something, and you seemed okay, I might talk about my kids in detail - but certainly not on a message board.

Suit yourself. I'm not going to live in fear of something that uncommon, though. I do tons of things that are riskier every day and don't think twice about it. May as well advise me not to ever leave my bed. Although then I'd be at risk for bed sores, I suppose.

 

[Torm]

I only hope they have no regrets later if they stayed home and didn't ride the Merry-Go-Round.

The Merry-Go-Round is safer - you may not know everyone's names, but you see their faces, and have physical access to them if they threaten you or yours. And you have a chance of pattern recognition if they're following you around afterward. You can't do that somewhere where people can lurk and never say a word (or even sign up for an account) and "listen" to your conversations.

Do as you will - only you know where the balance in that risk\benefit assessment lies in your own lives. I just wanted to share my concerns. Lots of people know the stuff I was saying in theory, but think "it will never happen to us." I'd rather give them my testimonial of what I've seen in chats than leave them unwarned to have their OWN testimonial later...

And I'm not advocating a Panic Room or anything like that - just to keep your eyes open and think about your security. We gaming geeks are too scarce and valuable to let anything happen to.

And I know you're a good guy, Rel. My people checked over everyone signed up for the Game Day - no worries.

(Just kidding, of course. Or at least, as far as I'm telling any of you. )

 

[Torm]

I'm not going to live in fear of something that uncommon, though.

Like Rel said, it is a risk\benefit analysis. For me, the risk (admittedly minimal) isn't worth the benefit, because I tend to think people who like me on here and would want to get to know me will do so whether they know I have kids or not. And I don't just weigh that assessment now, I also try to imagine how those would weigh AFTER the worst had happened, were it going to. Some risks, I would be sad were something to happen, but I would say, "I had to do that for life to be worth living." But detailing my kids on the 'net isn't one of those.

But, of course, YMMV. And I wonder how much of what I'm reading as contempt for my position from you (correct me if I got the tone wrong) comes from this being YOUR thread. I wasn't judging anyone who hadn't thought as I did about this, just sharing my concerns with anyone who hadn't thought about it, period.

 

[Pbartender]

Like Rel said, it is a risk\benefit analysis. For me, the risk (admittedly minimal) isn't worth the benefit, because I tend to think people who like me on here and would want to get to know me will do so whether they know I have kids or not. And I don't just weigh that assessment now, I also try to imagine how those would weigh AFTER the worst had happened, were it going to. Some risks, I would be sad were something to happen, but I would say, "I had to do that for life to be worth living." But detailing my kids on the 'net isn't one of those.

But, of course, YMMV. And I wonder how much of what I'm reading as contempt for my position from you (correct me if I got the tone wrong) comes from this being YOUR thread. I wasn't judging anyone who hadn't thought as I did about this, just sharing my concerns with anyone who hadn't thought about it, period.

Torm, nobody here is posting anything that someone couldn't find out in a few minutes, if they knew where to look.

For example, and to make a point, I found what I believe to be your real name, your home address, your home phone number and a map to your front doorstep within 30 seconds. Another 5 minutes gave me a satellite photo of your neighborhood, and the year you wer born in.

I got all that using nothing but the information you have listed in your profile.

The point is we live world of easily accessible information. The only way to keep people from finding you is to completely withdraw from the world. While a person doesn't have to be stupid about it, it certainly isn't worth worrying about. If someone really wants to go through the trouble of finding you, they will.

The number and ages of children in your family is a relatively insignificant bit of personal information in comparison to your home address.

 

[Torm]

The number and ages of children in your family is a relatively insignificant bit of personal information in comparison to your home address.

True - but without knowing any reason they would want to come here, the odds that they would are significantly reduced, IMHO. It's the difference between advertising and simply being listed - there's a reason businesses advertise, and its the same reason you don't want to, in this case. Of course someone who has a direct reason to want to mess with one of us, specifically, could become a problem - I'm suggesting what I am more as a defense against the random crazies.

And of course, merely knowing my address doesn't mean they'll get past the pit traps or buckets of heated oil, or any of the rest of it. MY security doesn't stop with the 'net.

(Just kidding - or AM I? )

 

[Torm]

It kind of amuses me that I'm actually being debated here, when my position is, at its most essential:

It is better to think before doing something, than to not think and regret that you didn't later.

Its something about my glove, isn't it? Admit it! Something that just stirs the stuff. It's a gauntlet, but I haven't thrown it down ner nuttin'.

 

[Desdichado]

It kind of amuses me that I'm actually being debated here, when my position is, at its most essential:

It is better to think before doing something, than to not think and regret that you didn't later.

Actually, I'd say your position was "don't post how many kids you have, because someone crazy Internet lurker may come and do something to them if you do." I'd say that's a far cry from think before you do something.