How to destroy the Earth

[BiggusGeekus]

You want to know what I love about ENworld?

The fact that the moderators just might move this thread to the on-topic forum.

Anyway: http://ned.ucam.org/~sdh31/misc/destroy.html

This is not a guide for wusses whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined below will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems. If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible RIGHT NOW. Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.

I'm optimistic about #9

 

[Jdvn1]

Who's taking bets on which number turns out right?

 

[ph34r]

17. Server Implosion

What you will need: Just a little patience.

Method: Crothian's post count becomes so high that EN World's server becomes unstable and implodes sucking in the rest of the world with it.

Earth's Final Resting Place: Who knows.

Comments:

Feasibility Rating: X/10

Earliest Feasibile Completion Date: Depends on Crothian.

 

[Algolei]

What the--!! Not one mention of the Giant Space Goat! I'd hardly call that a "list" then.

 

[Ashwyn]

Pffft, I already have a plan.

 

[Jdvn1]

Care to share with the class?

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Pffft, I already have a plan.

And I've already gone through with my plan. Its was so devious that no one has actually realized we're all dead yet. So nyah.

 

[Ashwyn]

Care to share with the class?

Of course, but only after it's too late.

 

[Jdvn1]

And I've already gone through with my plan. Its was so devious that no one has actually realized we're all dead yet. So nyah.

Stupid necromancers...

 

[Jdvn1]

Of course, but only after it's too late.

You're not going to do the typical bad guy tell-everyone-your-plan-while-they-still-have-a-chance-to-ruin-it-in-a-spectacular-array-of-events-lasting-roughly-two-hours?