DnDChick
Demon Queen of Templates
If WoTC was headquartered in the South, the following changes would have to be made to Dungeons and Dragons:
First of all, the name would be changed to Dungarees and Drag Races.
Classes
Barbarians would be called Bubbas. Their rage ability will be more powerful than the standard barbarian rage, but will only be useable after the bubba consumes 1d6+6 beers.
Bards would become Pickers, with instruments selected only from among guitar, dubro, mandolin, banjo, fiddle, or harmonica.
Clerics would be called Parsons. They would have domains like “Fishin’,” “Passin’ the Plate,” “Far ‘n Brimstone,” and “Revival.”
Druids would be called Mountain Folk, and would be able to wildshape in to various animal forms known as “Fur-Bearin’ Critters.”
Fighters would be called Cowboys (or -girls), and would be skilled at such things as redneckin’, and a barroom brawling.
Paladins would be Good Ol’ Boys (or Good Ol’ Girls).
Rangers would be known as Hillbillies, with a variety of huntin’, fishin’, and wilderness survival skills.
Rogues would be called ‘Shiners and will have “Distillin’” as a class skill.
Sorcerers would be Witchy-Women, and will only be available to females at least 50 years of age.
Wizards would be called Hifalutin’ City Slickers, and will possess strange lore and arcane knowledge unfathomable by the other classes.
First of all, the name would be changed to Dungarees and Drag Races.
Classes
Barbarians would be called Bubbas. Their rage ability will be more powerful than the standard barbarian rage, but will only be useable after the bubba consumes 1d6+6 beers.
Bards would become Pickers, with instruments selected only from among guitar, dubro, mandolin, banjo, fiddle, or harmonica.
Clerics would be called Parsons. They would have domains like “Fishin’,” “Passin’ the Plate,” “Far ‘n Brimstone,” and “Revival.”
Druids would be called Mountain Folk, and would be able to wildshape in to various animal forms known as “Fur-Bearin’ Critters.”
Fighters would be called Cowboys (or -girls), and would be skilled at such things as redneckin’, and a barroom brawling.
Paladins would be Good Ol’ Boys (or Good Ol’ Girls).
Rangers would be known as Hillbillies, with a variety of huntin’, fishin’, and wilderness survival skills.
Rogues would be called ‘Shiners and will have “Distillin’” as a class skill.
Sorcerers would be Witchy-Women, and will only be available to females at least 50 years of age.
Wizards would be called Hifalutin’ City Slickers, and will possess strange lore and arcane knowledge unfathomable by the other classes.
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