Humor: King Conan's True Favored Weapon

[swordsmasher]

Anyone who has read the REH stories will tell you that Conan has one true favored weapon. One has has brained more individuals than any other single weapon. And that weapon is the Beef Bone.

 

[Angel Tarragon]

Beef Bone

LOL!

 

[swordsmasher]

there was one story where Conan's army was getting attacked by this evil sorcerer and his army, and one of Conan's soldiers started to run away, and Conan smote him with the beef bone, and threatened to kill any man who ran away.

 

[scourger]

I just re-read The Vale of Lost Women in which he brains the native chieftan with a beef bone.

 

[Ian Sturrock]

Doesn't he hit the jailer in _Rogues in the House_ with a beef bone too?

 

[swordsmasher]

Doesn't he hit the jailer in _Rogues in the House_ with a beef bone too?

yeah. the idiot guard walks right into the cell where this massive cimmerian just happens to be finishing up chowing down on a giant beef bone. lol

what might the stats for the beef bone be?

 

[DarkSoldier]

The "long animal bone" is a club with a -2 penalty to hit due to inferior material. However, Conan is a high-level fighter/rogue/barbarian with high Strength, so such a penalty doesn't inconvenience him.

 

[Serps]

I'm glad you cleared that up. I was suspecting it was a euphemism for something else...

 

[swordsmasher]

I'm glad you cleared that up. I was suspecting it was a euphemism for something else...

Serious dude, in like 3 out of 5 of Howard's Conan stories, Conan is eating meat from a beef bone, and then uses it to kill or bloody someone. It's great. Conan has a different sword in almost every one of the stories, yet the beef bone is his staple weapon. lol

 

[Angel Tarragon]

Butthead: Dude, like my beef-bone is bigger than yours
Beavis: No its not, en garde!


LOL! I am actually picturing this in my mind!