i09 picks on D&D's 24 most ridiculous names, fails at basic reading

[Henry]

I think he missed some obvious ones, like the Hopeless Character Class from Dragon (#96, I think? A joke one, but totally awesome) and the Smith class (from an old Dragon, pre-issue 80 or so). Nothing says "adventure" like pounding out horseshoes and nails all day like a WoW resource farmer.

Have they ever done a "ridiculous magic items" article? The Nipple Clamps of Exquisite Pain would definitely make that list...

 

[Halivar]

Have they ever done a "ridiculous magic items" article? The Nipple Clamps of Exquisite Pain would definitely make that list...

Simply wouldn't be fair. TSR published The Book of Marvelous Magic, filled with nothing but joke items.

• Blanket of Protection (as long as you're under it, nothing can hurt you)
• Mess Awl (fills a dinner plate. Get it? Mess hall?)
• Word Balloon (holds spoken words)
• Pole of Exaggeration (fishing pole that enlarges you)
• Ether Oar (doesn't matter what it does to know it's a joke)
• Ruby Slippers (just guess)
• And tons of other obvious joke items like Blanket of Sleeping, Shovel of Digging, Stair of Ascending, Pants of Wearing, Air of Breathing, etc., etc. (ok I made the last two up but they might be in there anyway).

 

[Serendipity]

Well, it *is* io9, after all. I don't associate them with any but the most shallow commentary on, well anything really. They've always reminded me of "hipster SF commentary" which is a laughable idea unto itself.
No offense to anyone who enjoys their articles, but it's just not for me.

 

[dmgorgon]

This guy confuses 2e role playing kits (which are more like backgrounds) with the concept of a class.

 

[Henry]

Simply wouldn't be fair. TSR published The Book of Marvelous Magic, filled with nothing but joke items.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that book -- I hired a hypnotherapist to erase that and a couple of Greyhawk modules from my long term memory, and only the phrase "Xiphoid Xebec" could---


AW, DAMMIT!

 

[Klaus]

The entry on the Arctic Druid is pretty dumb, although for reasons that have nothing to do with D&D. (It's not an area devoid of nature; it's a different type of nature.)

Yep, that's where the article lost me, as well.

 

[Hussar]

Personally my favorite joke magic item was a Robe of Blending Warring Three Speed.

 

[ExploderWizard]

Personally my favorite joke magic item was a Robe of Blending Warring Three Speed.

That was a good one but it was surpassed IMHO by the Rod of Lordly Might or Might Not.

 

[Mallus]

I thought it was funny. A number of my friends posted links to the piece on Facebook. While io9 can be hit-or-miss, this one's a (non-critical) hit.

 

[Tuft]

No need to be offended by it.

But the article fails for another reason: no mention of any of the goofy 4E classes, like "Battlemind" (especially when combined with the goofier race, Shardmind. Yes Shardmind Battlemind is an option in 4E).

Oh, think of the multiclassing possibilities:

The Warforged Warlock/Warlord/Warden Warrior on a Warhorse...



Also: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/03/20