I'm DM'ing a Player Who Just Announced his Bard is a Kleptomaniac Pickpocket. Crap.

[joethelawyer]

Anyone have any good sources for random charts for:

1. Random Items found when pickpocketing
2. Random people who might be pickpocketed, along with their relevant brief stat blocks?
3. Anything that breaks out the above 2 categories by geographic location/social class of target/type of establishment?
4. Anything else that might be handy?

Thx.

 

[Dire Bare]

Urg. I hate that old shtick. Player's who decide rogue = compulsive thief in my games usually quickly learn the fate of most thieves in a medieval world. And if they steal from their fellow adventurers, I don't even have to make any effort!

 

[Plane Sailing]

roll 1d4

1. a copper piece
2. a twig
3. some fluff
4. roll twice and keep both results

 

[joethelawyer]

Urg. I hate that old shtick. Player's who decide rogue = compulsive thief in my games usually quickly learn the fate of most thieves in a medieval world. And if they steal from their fellow adventurers, I don't even have to make any effort!

Yeah he's gonna learn fast. Its set in Freeport, so the consequences will be swift. At the very least, when he fails, he will either get his first level ass kicked, end up in jail, and if he wants out he will be in debt to the mob who bailed him out. Its just a matter if he takes his companions down with him. Hell, depending on the target, he might get killed.

But I need charts and tables for random targets and items.

 

[Kinneus]

roll 1d4

1. a copper piece
2. a twig
3. some fluff
4. roll twice and keep both results

Good, but a little too forgiving. Here's mine:

roll 1d6

1. a copper piece
2. a twig
3. a bit of string
4. deadly poisonous scorpion
5. sphere of annihilation
6. Bag of Holding with Demogorgon inexplicably inside

 

[DragonBelow]

"What have you got in your pouches?"

Traditional greeting among kenders, followed by emptying of said pouches in the ground and exchange of items.

Some ideas...

Kencyclopedia - Kender - Cartography -Random Pouch Picks

 

[tmatk]

If he's truly klepto, there should be some kind of roll to control himself when he's sees a rich but dangerous mark. If a wealthy noble is flashing gold at the tavern, can he resist attempting a pickpocket, despite the 6 ogre body guards?

If he survives the beating, maybe he finds a local cleric's couch to help with his psychological problem.

 

[Aeolius]

So, what happens when he tries to pickpocket the local wizard who happens to carry a pouch-sized bag of devouring?

I thought convicted pickpockets had their hand(s) cut off...

 

[Windjammer]

Hi Joe!

First of all, the best way to rid a player of an unwanted shtick is to beat him to the punch. Have some NPCs going kleptomaniac on his PC day in day out, and he'll loose interest pretty quickly. Note that such DM-player antagonism is a last resort when ordinary channels of communciation have broken down. But I understand resolving this rationally is not an option for you anymore.

Second, in the movie "The Gamers" there's the well known scene where a guy playing a rogue steals an NPC's: purse, dagger, and pants. "DM: His pants???? Why do you want to steal his pants?" - "Player: I just want to see if I can do it." He rolls, and succeeds. But, as a DM, you don't need to give in to such crap. Here's why. It's funny for a player to pick targets and items of his thieving obsession, not so funny (and definitely less entertaining after a while for his co-players) when he's got to describe it every time. Not that he'll even get it right, in which case the target and/or the city guard will take care of it.

 

[Doug McCrae]

What have I got in my pocket?

Have him find the One Ring.