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Message: <blockquote data-quote="incognito" data-source="post: 445806" data-attributes="member: 7008">Rune vs Griswold...In our parallel round of IRON DM, we have two submissions that get us back on track with the type of quality we are used to seeing from the capricious minds here on the boards (capricious being a compliment in this context, of course!)Let get right into it with Rune:Dragon AND Dagon.  Looks like the jokes on me Rune!  I have a laundry list of positive things to say about this scenario.  ALL the ingredients looked like they were hand picked for Rune, which is the hallmark of truly innovative and captivating writing.  In past posts I have stated that my attention span can wane if a submission is too long.  I read this post twice and didn’t notice on wasted second.Let’s highlight some of the more brilliant bits.  The Kangaroo Court: Without defining more than a single deity we are assailed on all side with the imagery of these elder, forgotten gods.  The feeling of eeriness is uncanny but with just the few sentences Rune lays down.  So too the use of the ingredient maintaining balance: in it’s the most obvious aspect – the giant scale- used as an ‘in game’ literal symbol of maintaining balance by having the party pay for the deaths of the Dragon and the Monk, as well the less obvious aspect of the shifting balance of power between the Shadow Dagon, and the Other Deities. Finally, we have the balance of rewarding the players with a princely gift (the coins), and at the same time dumping the fish on the players, in front of the pro-ichthyoid clergy.Consider the time spent on the relationship of the Shadow Dragon and the Fish God.  It is one thing to say: Once there was an evil dragon who worshiped a fish god.  It is quite another to give insight into the childhood of an intelligent species, bringing us up to date with its evil psychology, and justification for its actions, culminating in an explanation of its current group of compatriots.There are faults to this entry, as there are faults to any entry submitted in short period of time.  Rune explains that this adventure is suitable for 4, L10 characters.  The Shadow Dragon, outside and by himself is at least CR12.  With a 15 level Githzerai Monk (even without spells or class abilities the Gith gets feats, ability point increases, save increases, and BAB advancement) the adversaries get out of EL whack.  If hostilities commence, and Rune has gone out of his way to indicate that the NPCs are provocative fight lethally…well – just expect fatalities. Other shortcomings:  I need more description of the trial.  It is long, and ultimately without resolution, but with the attention to detail paid to other parts of this story, the big blank of happening during the trial is a let down.  And what about the plane shifting issue?  He mentions it by name, but you can bet that most parties are NOT going for reinforcements, they are getting the hell out of dodge!  A nip here, a tuck there….that’s what this needs.And speaking of nips and tucks – let go on to the next entry: Griswold!I know there is more than meets the eye, here.  Griswold elaborately sets up an insane shadow dragon, using the time honored illithid element.  Then simply drops it in the player lap (!!) as a series of believable, if non-ingenious plot hooks.  I feel like I got half of a submission – which might well be true, given Griswold’s next immediate post.So – what did I like in this scenario?  The history of the dragon, and the backfire of the Illithid ‘ultimate weapon.’  Makes you think of what would’ve happened if NASA engineers had designed the Death Star – thing would blown up in their faces (“Metric conversion issue, Lord Vader”).  We see the Gith introduced in a logical fashion.   Gith hate Flayers;  No new pantheon needed.  A variety of plot hooks is another bright spot.  Although not as versatile or well planned as some previous submissions, we are given choices as to how to get involved – whereas in Rune’s scenario, you get caught up in the motion, like it or not.I’m not going to take as much time to point out shortcomings of this adventure.  I do think the use of coins was weak, and poorly incorporated.  All in all, the single biggest flaw was the abrupt cut off from the well flowing history, to present day adventure.  Similar to waking up from a very entertaining dream by an annoying roommate…My best guess is that given another 24 hours, we would see some serious fine tuning to Griswold’s idea.It is the cruel, fish god way of the IRON DM contest, though, that there is only the 24 hours.  And so with his submission: an overwhelmingly superior piece of DMing goodness, I’m happy to award this round to RUNE.</blockquote>

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