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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rune" data-source="post: 955169" data-attributes="member: 67">Round 1, Match 2 Judgement: WinnipegDragon vs. SeasongWinnipegDragon vs. SeasongThis match was pleasingly close.  Please keep that in mind as the judgement proceeds, as it will force me to be particularly critical.  These are two excellent entries, but neither is flawless:Hooks:WinnipegDragon provides varried hooks, all sound, but they strike me as being a wee bit heavy-handed.  Also, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if the PCs attempted to arrive by sea, but I assume that the unnaturally high tide would keep it from happening.  All in all, these are generally good hooks.Seasong's are also varied and quite intriguing.  I give him the edge in this category.Plot:Winnipeg's premise is simple, but strong and solid.  My main problem with the scenario was that it was very linear, however.  Each piece of the puzzle lead directly to a single next piece.  Nevertheless, the Verisimilitude of the scenario holds up, except in one crucial area.  I can't figure out how the harpy would be able to maintain control over the mayor for so long when she's been lost in the maze for a week.  She's only a level 6 Sorceror.Then, we have Seasong's plot.  This is nice and twisted, yet straightforward enough, at a glance.  As there are no obvious flaws in verisimilitude, Seasong gets this category, as well.Creativity:Winnipeg is quite creative and presents a great deal of very nice atmosphere.  The underwatern "cavern" with it's fountain is particularly great, as is the maze surrounding it.  Futhermore, Winnipege presents some very nice tactical thinking with his harpy encounter.This will be no surprise, but Seasong's use of creativity is also stellar.  In fact, it saturates the entire scenario.  His atmosphere is excellent and oppressive and his ingredient usage is almost uniformly perfectly entwined into it.  Futhermore, the plot twist detailed is extraordinarily nice and his attention to rat-bastardly philosophies is well-appreciated.  This category is close, but is also Seasong's.After the Adventure:Winnipeg's adventure is a tight package, which is nice, but doesn't allow for much future development.  However, there is one idea that could be expanded upon, and it's a nice one.  The divine undertones (specifically the New God hinted at) present some intriguing questions.Seasong also only provides one hook for the future, fundamentally, but the fact that it can be expanded indefinitely more than makes up for it.  It's especially nice to see what will happen as the harpy and the sphinx grow in power, or if the PCs ignore the threat.Ingredients:SphinxWinnipeg's sphinx works well.  She's a great character and a great catalyst.However, Seasong's sphinx has an extraordinarily well-developed character, and the focus on the territorial nature of sphinxes is quite well done.MazeWinnipeg's maze has good flavor and is in particularly imaginative location.Again, however, Seasong's use of the ingredient, astounds me.  Making the city a maze could easily have been a cliche, but Seasong manages to avoid that trap.  His maze has almost as much character as the sphinx who runs it.Bag of TricksThis, I feel, was Winnipeg's weakest ingredient.  It just seems too tacked on.  It really could have been left out, save for the fact that it was required.By contrast, this is Seasong's best ingredient.  It's just downright brilliant.  It is excellent to note that Seasong ties almost all of his ingredients together well and tightly, but The use of the Bag of tricks stands out as simply outstanding.Waterlogged totemWhile WinnipegDragon's totem isn't, strictly speaking, waterlogged, it is, nevertheless, implimented very well.  This is, without a doubt, Winnipeg's strongest ingredient.  It has great atmosphere and helps hold the structure of the scenario together, grounding the seemingly fantastic in verisimilitude.  Excellent work, Winnipeg.And in this case, it's better than Seasong's.  Given the excellence of the implimentation of the other ingredients, I'm disappointed with how tacked on and superficial this one seems.Paranoid CityWinnipeg has created a city (and I like the fact that it's pretty small) that I'll want to insert into a campaign sometime.  It's got great atmosphere and a lively feel, even while it looks over its shoulder with paranoid glances.But, I simply can't believe how much character Seasong's has.  It's really its own character.  Merging the city with the maze (while still keeping them seperate) is brilliant.HarpyThis one would be Winnipeg's, too, if not for the hole in verisimilitude mentioned previously.  She's got good character and tactics.That's not to say that Seasong's version isn't good.  It's just that Seasong's version doesn't seem to have as much character as his other major NPC, the sphinx.  However, the motivations and personality are quite believable.Conclusion:This was a close match, all the way through, whether or not my critique emphasizes it.  Winnipeg, you are a very talented writer and your entry is excellent, but Seasong shows with this entry exactly why he is reigning champion.I hope to see more of you in future Iron DM tournaments, WinnipegDragon, but this time, Seasong advances to Round 2!</blockquote>

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