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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rune" data-source="post: 958031" data-attributes="member: 67">Round 1, Match 3 Judgementcool hand luke vs. GreybarOkay, the format of my last two judgements seems a bit dry to me, so I'm going to try this another way.But first, I need to address something.  Cool hand luke!  You write in your entry that it is really bad.  Don't do that!  If it's really bad, trust me, I'll be able to figure that out.  Second, your formatting hurts my eyes!  Combined with the bad spelling, the massive blocks made me want to not read it.  Especially after you told me how bad it was.  Dude!  You're stacking the deck against yourself!Now, to the entries.  In truth, both of these entries had some weaknesses that were hard to ignore.  However, there are some definite gems, here, too, so I'll get right into it.Both of the entries disappoint me with the hooks.  In cool hand luke's case, they are almost non-existent, from what I can tell (and anything I get wrong, is because of his cumbersome formatting!).  Greybar's are simple and heavy-handed or coincidence-driven.However, once into the adventure, both entries pick up.  I'll admit, both are painfully linear, but with some intriguing elements, as well.  Take, Greybar, for instance.  His scenario has a comical undertone (a darkly comical undertone) and a subtle wit that I find quite refreshing, not to mention some quite fascinating characterization.Cool hand luke's entry sets up a truly inspiring situation.  His political intrigue is well thought-out and implemented.  His grasp of rat bastardy is also shown to be pretty good; several of the situations he presents have some quite bastardly elements.  I particularly like the plant of the ioun stones on the PCs and the subsequent use of extortion to yank them around.  Regrettably, a couple of holes in verisimilitude surface, where I don't really see any in Greybar's.  For one thing, I couldn't figure out why the carnies needed to get the ioun stone inside in the first place.  For another, I see no reason why the ring of animal friendship should work on the giant spider--it's a vermin!  There's also one more thing I want to comment on.  Cool hand luke mentions in passing that the LG deity that the theocracy is apparently worshipping should be different than any worshipped by the PCs.  Dude!  This adventure would be that much cooler if any of the PCs worshipped the same god!Another thing that both entries do well is to provide good hooks to be picked up after the adventure.  In Greybar's case, they're strong and sound.  He even includes some helpful advice.  In cool hand luke's case, they come about as a natural consequence of the political intrigue, hence, also very nice.I must say, though, that the atmosphere of one of the entries struck is as far more lackluster than the other.  I was incredibly impressed by the paranoid intrigue that seems to dominate cool hand luke's scenario.  Although I wish the adventure was less linear, I think cool hand luke provides enough inspiration for a good DM to improve upon it.Of course, there are also the ingredients to consider.  cool hand luke's bungling adept is pretty innovative and not quite what I was expecting to see.  That's a good start.  In fact, I must say, I very much enjoyed the concept of a divine spellcaster, stripped of abilities, faking it (even to himself).  Spiffy!Of course, Greybar's bungling adept is really great, as well.  He has quite a lot of character for someone we never meet!I very much enjoyed Greybar's use of the unsavory stew and his Ooze (which ties into it) is a beautiful use of the ingredient.  And he even throws in a second ooze!  Beautiful.Cool hand luke makes excellent use of the ioun stone ingredient, except for the hole in verisimilitude mentioned earlier.The problem with most of cool hand luke's ingredients, however, is that they seem to be strung together, with little thought given to their significance in the scenario.  Greybar's doesn't suffer from this problem, although his use of the ioun stone is the most horribly tacked-on ingredient I've seen used in a long time.Now, I love the spider-web carpets of cool hand luke's entry, but I can't tell exactly how the carpet shop is a shop at all.  Is it a front?  Or, is it, as it seems to be, more of a storehouse for smugglers?I also feel cool hand luke's unsavory stew was more random than it needed to be, but it provides a decent set-up for a con.Okay, so who wins?It's pretty clear that Greybar has the more polished, tighter scenario.  It really is a decent scenario, if weaker than others have been.But, even though my eyes bled while I read it, I think cool hand luke's scenario is more innovative, more inspiring, more exciting, and more complicated in a good way.  It surprises even me, so it may well surprise others, as well, but I have to give the match to cool hand luke for a fundamentally better scenario.  I just hope he does a better job of formatting and polishing in round two.Congratulations, cool hand luke!</blockquote>

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